Page 40 of The Notorious Lord Sin
"I know we've had a troubled past, and I hope these past weeks I have proven to you that you're the only woman that I want beside me for the remainder of our lives. I'm in love with you, Paris. I think back to that afternoon in the Romney library, and I do not recognize the young man who so callously threw what we had away. I was young and wrong, so unjust, and I hope you know that I shall never do such a heinous thing to you again. I shall never treat you with such little respect."
"Is that so," she said, slapping down her napkin and leaning back in her chair. "Then explain to me, Dominic, why your mother called on me this afternoon, warning me that you're going to offer me marriage to get your family out of financial strife?"
"What?" he stammered his face paling. "My mother called on you here?"
"She did," Paris stated, watching him, scrutinizing to see him squirm and try to get out of this dreadful bind. "She did not call with any genuine reason but one out of her dislike of me. She does not want me as a daughter-in-law. Miss Smith, you understand, is not exalted enough for the Astoridges, no matter how rich or titled I am now. But I digress. She came to tell me so that I would know the real reason behind your proposal when you asked for my hand."
He shifted in his chair, and she could see that he struggled to comprehend what was happening.
"My reason for wanting to marry you is because I love you. It should not matter that I made some financial errors and now must figure some ways out of it. That has nothing to do with you and me, Paris," he declared.
She studied him, wondering if he believed what was coming out of his mouth. The man had no shame. "Your financial position has nothing to do with what is happening between us? Are you serious, Dominic? Because five years ago, it had everything to do with why you threw me over. After we had been intimate. After I had given my body to you. A privilege that I thought to be giving to my future husband, you. But that did not happen because I had no dowry. And now, you sit here, declaring that you love me while all the time what you really love is the money I would bring to the marriage. A way in which you could gain funds to see yourself out of bad investments.
“How dare you even ask me to marry you when all of what we have is a lie? You used me again, and foolishly I started to believe that you had changed. That you were truly sorry for what you did to me and our ..." Paris took a calming breath, having almost mentioned Maya in her anger with him. "What you did to me and our future I longed and dreamed of," she corrected. "I will not marry you, Dominic. I will not be your token out of debt."
Dominic did not know what to say or how to respond. Nor had he ever seen Paris so angry with him. But how to explain, to tell her that she was wrong? That he wanted to marry her out of affection and love, out of desperation for having to have her as his wife. Not a passing acquaintance or old lover.
He could not go another day seeing her dance and flirt or being courted by anyone else in society. Should she remarry, it would kill him stone dead.
He loved her, but how to prove that to her?
She would never believe him now, and he had his mother to thank for that. And yet, the trembling of Paris's hands and the pinched mouth told him that perhaps even if she had heard from him and not his parent, she would still have acted the same. She would not have believed him, even if he had presented his situation first.
"I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to discuss my predicament. I only told my mother of it this morning when several bills arrived that, even now, I'm unable to pay for. I had to inform her that I had lost the money I inherited and expenditures had to be trimmed."
"And then she ran to me to use that information to remove any hope I may have harbored for us." Paris shook her head. "I know I said I did not wish to marry, and up until you came back to London, I did not. But seeing you again, having you in my bed and in my life, even against my better judgment, I allowed my heart to open again for the possibility of us. What a fool I have been. You are a cad. A man who will go to any lengths, even pretend to love someone, when all you really love is their money."
He shook his head, laying down the cutlery that he somehow still held in his hands. "That is not true. I wanted to tell you everything, but I was ashamed. I knew you would not believe me. I feared you would think as you now do. But it is not true, Paris. I do care. I do love you. I want you, not your money."
"You want me now that I'm rich, but you did not want me when I was poor. You are a liar, and whatever this vile, toxic thing is we're playing, is over. I will not be your mistress, your wife, nothing. I want nothing to do with you."
Dominic fought to breathe, his chest hurt, and for several horrifying moments, he thought he might cry. Gentlemen, viscounts did not cry, and yet the picture of Paris in his eyes blurred.
"How can I prove to you that I mean what I say? That I love you, truly love you so much that I cannot imagine my life without you in it," he declared, his voice high even to his own ears.
She stood, started for the door, and wrenched it open. "Please escort Lord Astoridge out," she ordered the footman. "Goodbye, my lord. I wish you all the very best with the remainder of your Season," she threw at him, the exact words he had uttered to her five years before in the Romney library.
ChapterTwenty-Four
Paris returned to Landon Hall, the Hervey ancestral home, the following day and, over the past week, had indulged her children and spent every spare moment she could playing and spending time with them.
So much so that they now wished to return to their normal duties, leaving her to contemplate all that had happened in London with Dominic.
She stared down at the missive from him that had arrived with this morning's post, but she could not open it. There was little point in doing so. There would be only more professions of love, of all the reasons why she needed to believe him and forgive his actions.
Everything that she could not.
She would not.
He did not deserve a second chance. Or was it a third now, since he had been sneaky yet again during the Season?
The sound of her children's laughter grew louder the closer they came toward the library, and she slipped the missive into a drawer and smiled when they both came into view, their excited, sweet faces making her feel better.
"Mama," Oliver shouted, skidding to a stop before Maya had made the desk. "Joseph said we can go for a ride if you're in agreement," he said, both their little faces alight with excitement.
Paris reached out and smoothed Oliver's hair from his face before pulling Maya into her arms, kissing the top of her head. "Of course you can, so long as you do not go any faster than a trot and do not leave the lawns."
"We won't," Maya said, her voice high with excitement before they ran out of the room, leaving her as quickly as they came.
