Page 31 of Brazen Rogue
"I'm a selfish man. I know I am, but I do not want you to go. I want to keep you here forever."
"Then marry me," she asked of him, no longer willing to ignore their affliction. "Marry me, and I will be able to stay. If not, you know I must go, whether to America or London. Maybe not today or next week, but I shall have to leave you sometime."
The words hurt to speak, but they were the truth. His fear of marrying down, of causing more scandal for his name and daughter, guided all his thoughts and actions, except with her. She was his Achilles heel, his past, once maybe the woman who held his heart and had never relinquished it. She was the reason he had settled into this secret love affair because when it came to her, he could not say no.
He rocked back in his chair, watching her and the hairs on her skin lifted at his savage, hungry regard. She swallowed, on edge all of a sudden, as if she were in a dangerous situation that she did not know how to escape.
She raised her chin, meeting his stare head-on. "Is that not the case, my lord?" she asked, demanding clarification.
He pushed up from his seat and came toward her. She reminded herself that he would not hurt her, even if her words may have bestowed truths he did not want to hear. Did not want to face.
He pulled her up from her chair and wrenched her into his hold. "You know I would have married you had not the late marchioness ensured I did not. I wanted you as my wife, my lover, everything, but now it is all different. It is not only us we have to think of. I know this hurts you. It rips me in two," he said, laying his forehead against hers, his hold unbreakable. "I wish you never came here as a governess. I cannot further add to my family's scandalous name by marrying you."
Reign clasped his face, making him look at her. "What we're doing is unfair to both of us, but mostly to me. I take the risk, and my reputation will not be saved should I get with a child. A choice I made to be with you, I know, but it is madness, Bellamy. I cannot be your whore forever. Surely that is not what you want for me. I have too much respect for myself to continue in this way forever. Marrying me would lessen the scandal should it be discovered that I'm bedding you, and are your daughter's governess."
A muscle worked in his jaw as he thought over her words. "I understand." He sighed, pulling back to look at her. His hands dropped from her waist, and he kneeled instead.
Reign stared at him. Her body shook as he met her eyes and reached for her hand. "You are right, Miss Hall. I cannot, as a gentleman, continue to let you live in such sin. I would be no better than a cad. I will not allow that for you or me, so will you marry me instead? I am the gentleman, after all. It should be I who proposes," he quipped.
ChapterEighteen
Reign stared at him, dumbfounded for several moments. "Are you truly in earnest? Are you willing to dismiss any rumors of my being here? Defend my honor," she teased, grinning.
Bellamy nodded, having never meant anything more in his life. But he could not lose Reign again, scandal or no scandal. He could not watch her be devastated all over again by his decision.
"There are ways to limit any scandal that may ensue. My lie of you being a guest here at the house party is fortunate."
She frowned and pulled him to stand. "You lied about me? When?" she asked him.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, enjoying the fact more and more that he could already touch her as he liked. "I was questioned about you when a guest saw you in the gardens. I fumbled and stated you had arrived with Lady Chilsten but did not feel up to attending the parlor games and outings."
Reign started to giggle and then laugh, and he rolled his eyes. "I know, hearing the excuse sounds absurd now, but I panicked, and it was the first thing that popped into my head," he explained.
"I'm not ashamed of being a governess, Bellamy. There are worse professions I could have procured."
He squeezed her tighter, not wanting to imagine such a tragedy. "Do not say such things. I cannot bare it." He paused. "Lord and Lady Chilsten are still here, and Lady Chilsten is the sister to many influential families in England. With some assistance, the notion that you were ever employed here can be squashed and forgotten about soon enough. We will say you arrived, we courted as we once had in London, and we're to marry."
Her happiness all but glowed from her skin, and he sighed a relieved breath, knowing she was his again.
His heart.
His love.
Love?
The word bounced about in his mind, and yet it did not scare him. If anything, it motivated him and enlightened him to push to have her redeemed. To be returned to the center of society and the place which should have always been hers.
"For a gentleman who only thought to propose, you seem to have everything in hand and sorted." Her smile lit up the room, and her eyes filled with tears. "You are in earnest, Bellamy, aren't you? You truly wish to marry me?" she asked him again.
He nodded, the overwhelming joy he felt within telling him this had been the correct course all along. "Say yes, Reign, so that I can kiss you," he teased, feeling far more joyous and alive than he had in years.
They were always meant to be together. They had always meant to be married. Had Sally and her underhanded ways not torn them from each other, they would have been married years ago.
But nothing stood in their way now.
"Yes," she answered him. "Yes, I shall marry you."
He wrenched her into his arms, taking her lips in a kiss that would forever remain in his mind. She kissed him back, and he could feel the dampness of her tears on his cheeks.
