Page 40 of Brazen Rogue
Julia came and sat beside her, pulling her into a tight embrace. The affection was the last straw that Reign could endure, and she sobbed, the tears falling freely, her ability to speak wrenched from her for several minutes.
Julia held her tight, rubbing her back. "Let us see what Lord Lupton-Gage has to say tomorrow when he calls. He will need to explain what all of this is about and what he is going to do."
Reign nodded but did not naysay her friend. There was nothing for him to do, nothing for her to do either. Lady Lupton-Gage had won a second time, regarding their love, and that was all there was about the situation.
Now she would have to learn to live with seeing them together until she decided what she should do in her life.
Wherever that journey took her.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Bellamy paced the parlor that Lord and Lady Chilsten had offered him to discuss last night's events with Reign.
He heard light footsteps on the parquetry floor and stilled, holding his hands behind his back in preparation for facing his betrothed.
His love.
Reign stepped into the room, and the pit of his stomach dropped. She was as pretty as she had always been, but her eyes, normally a handsome blue, were shadowed by fear and trepidation.
He stepped toward her, and she held out a hand, sitting instead on a single settee beside the unlit fire, a sure sign she wanted to keep him at a distance.
"You wished to see me, Lord Lupton-Gage?" she stated, meeting his eyes quickly before she glanced back toward the hearth.
He came around the settee and sat as close as he could to her. "Look at me, Reign," he pleaded. "I did not mean for this to happen. Please do not punish me with coldness when nothing has changed for me."
She shook her head, not meeting his eyes. "But everything has changed, no matter how much we may both wish differently. Your wife is alive, a fact thetonwill expect you to celebrate. I would suggest you change our betrothal ball at your home to celebrate her return, especially now that it's come to an end."
Bellamy fought the panic that rose within him. This could not happen again. He could not lose her once more.
"How can you think that I want this? That I want to remain married to a woman who has despised me from the moment we said 'I do'. I do not. I cannot live without you again, Reign."
"But you will have to," she cut in, her voice brooking no argument. "There is no choice, not for either of us." She met his eyes finally. "Your wife has not passed, and you will be expected to be happy over that fact, no matter how much you may regret me and what we have lost in the interim. I know you care for me, and I care for you, too. That has not changed. But our circumstances have, and we must adjust."
"Reign, I never loved her. She tricked me into marrying her—”
"It is done, Bellamy. As much as we may wish to change our past, it is already written in the pages of history. No matter the circumstances that brought upon your first marriage, all of it happened, and anything we shared was severed. That has happened again. Lady Lupton-Gage is alive, and that is everything anyone needs to know."
"It is not everything to me. She thinks life and emotions are a game. She enjoys playing with her victims. You must not go near her, not at any balls or parties where you may cross her path. She will not be kind. Promise me," he said, trying to salvage something from this horrid mess that his wife had created.
He closed his eyes. How he loathed that word, that term, when speaking of Sally.
"Lady Chilsten has been kind enough to allow me to stay here, and I shall until I decide what I will do. I will attempt to keep away from you and her ladyship. I do not want to see her any more than I want to see you with her."
"I do not love her, Reign," he vouched, kneeling before her and taking her hands. He frowned at the chill in her hands and tried to warm them with his. "I love you. I want you," he said, having never declared anything more true in his life. "I cannot imagine living without you again, and I do not want to."
She met his eyes, hers swimming with tears. "But we have to. There is no choice." She reached up and clasped his jaw. "My feelings remain unchanged, Bellamy. I love you too. I have always done so, but we both need to accept that we are not meant to be. The universe seems to know better than either of us and halts any attempts of us having happiness together. We need to part, to sever our contact to make the next few months and years as easy as possible."
Bellamy ignored her words, not willing to lose her, but then what choice did he have? He could not ask her to be his mistress. He would not denigrate what either of them felt of the other by asking such a thing. Even if that was the only way open for them he could see.
His wife was alive, and to divorce her would mean a tarnish against his name that his daughter would never live down.
"I do not know what to do," he admitted, lost for words or an out. How was he to live without the woman he loved? He had pushed aside his feelings for years but now had admitted to them, declared them to Reign, and did not want to smother them again.
"There is nothing that you can do, Bellamy. There is nothing that either of us can do," she said, leaning forward and kissing him. Her touch severed his soul in two. He could feel the kiss was a goodbye, a farewell that this time felt undeniably final.
There would not be another. When he left this house this morning, he would never return and see Reign waiting for him.
Just like their envisioned happy future, it would be ripped from them forever.
