Page 48 of A Matter of Time
Her eyes widened in surprise or disbelief, I couldn’t tell which. Maybe both. “What are you talking about?”
“First of all, everyone’s doing okay, so don’t panic. Your dad had a heart attack earlier today.”
Despite me just saying not to panic, Tonia looked right on the edge of it. She snatched her phone back off the counter, and though I didn’t know for sure who she intended to call, I grabbed it out of her hands before she could call anyone.
“Give that back, Cam. Right now.” Her eyes flashed with fire as she tried to reach over and take it back from me, her teacup clattering dangerously on its saucer as she brushed up against it.
“Not until you hear me out, Sugar. They told me not to tell you, but I’m telling you anyway because I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us, alright?”
A dozen different emotions swam in those pretty blue eyes as she processed everything I’d just told her, but finally, she leaned back, letting her hands fall to the counter again. “What happened? Why would they call you?”
Trying not to leave anything out, I told her everything they shared with me about what happened and what I’d helped them with while I was there. “They said they were going to tell y’all tomorrow. I guess you’re getting together at Dex’s new gallery?”
She nodded in confirmation before shaking her head as she thought things over. “This is going to kill Dex, on top of everything else he’s going through.”
Her choice of words made us both wince. Death certainly seemed to be hovering around the Callahan clan, even if it hadn’t made its move just yet.
It did help me try to explain her parent’s motivation to her, at least. “I’m pretty sure that’s why your parents didn’t call him tonight, or any of you. They didn’t want you to worry until they knew more about exactly what was going on. By tomorrow, they should know what all the tests showed and what your dad’s gotta do to get better.”
We both fell silent for a moment as she considered everything I’d just revealed, and since she seemed to have calmed down, I placed her phone back on the counter and slid it over to the middle where she could reach it if she wanted to.
It remained untouched.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth about Marley?”
The question seemed to come out of nowhere, and yet, it made perfect sense to me too. I’d just trusted her with something meant to be a secret, so she wanted to know why I hadn’t done the same all those years ago.
Just as I had when I answered her earlier question, I held nothing back. “I promised her I wouldn’t. She asked me to keep the secret and I thought I was doing the right thing. When you asked me if I knew her, I didn’t know you were having doubts about us, so I lied to try to protect her, and that was a mistake. I planned to tell you that morning when I got to the school. When I asked to talk to you, that was exactly what I wanted to talk about. I would have told you everything then, I just never got the chance to.”
Tonia nodded, her eyes focused on the cup of tea in her hands rather than on me, but I knew she was listening carefully to every word. “What would you have said?”
The words were almost ingrained in my head even though I’d never spoken them out loud. I’d rehearsed them over and over that morning as I showered and got ready and while I walked to the school. I’d tried a dozen different ways to approach it before I decided on the one I figured would be best.
“I was going to say: I’m sorry, Sugar. I’ve made a mess of things and I need your help. I’ve been trying to do a good thing, but I’m over my head now and I know you’ll know what to do. You always do.”
Her eyes flitted up to me, just for a moment, before returning to her cup. In the dim light of the room, the expression in them almost looked like regret.
I carried on as if I were talking to her six years ago rather than the Tonia sitting in her Houston apartment. “You know you asked the other day if I know Marley Stevens? Fact is, I’ve been getting to know her. Her mama’s sick and her daddy’s up in the city, and she’s not in a good place. I’ve been trying to help her out but I’m losing control. She wants me to take her to the prom so she’s got some good memories to share with her mama, but I can’t do that. You know there’s no one I want to go with but you.”
“Then why did you tell her you would?” Tonia’s voice was quiet, speaking down to the counter instead of to me, but I heard her perfectly fine anyway.
“I tried to tell her no and she started talking about wanting to die like her mama. I was scared, Sugar. I thought she might do something crazy. So, I said yes, but that’s why I need your help now. I need to find a way out of this so Marley doesn’t get hurt but you and I still get to have the prom we always imagined. I know: I’m an idiot, and I’ve made a right mess of all of it, but you can help me fix it. I know you can. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you right from the start.”
Those blue eyes looked up at me again, but that time, they stayed locked on me as she weighed the truth in my words. “You weren’t going to take her? Honestly? She thought you were.”
“She thought that because I lied to her. I was never going to take her, Tonia. I never for a second wanted to go with anyone other than you.”
Her lips twitched and she pressed them tighter together, trying to control whatever she might be feeling at that moment. I honestly couldn’t even begin to guess what that might be.
When she stayed silent for a while, I spoke up again. “Can I ask you a question too, Sugar?”
She nodded, still not saying anything.
“Why did you think I cheated on you? How could you think that?” I tried to keep my tone as neutral as possible, with a great deal of effort. That was the one thing I had never fully been able to understand.
“You started avoiding me. You were never at home, never wanted to come over, and then you lied to my face. You told me you didn’t even know her, and then I saw you at her house. I saw you holding her in her room, and the next day she told the whole school you were taking her to prom.”
That all looked bad, I had to admit, but she had missed the heart of my question. “That’s not what I mean, Tonia. Those are the reasons someone else might have thought I was cheating. Why didyouthink it? Didn’t you know no other woman in the world came close to you for me? Didn’t you know just how goddamn much I love you?”
