Page 37 of A Matter of Time
“Because I’d already lost my girlfriend over it. It seemed stupid not to have something good come out of it in the end. At least you got the pictures to take to your mom.”
Marley had told me just how happy those photos had made her mother, the last time they saw each other. She died the following week.
Her getting to see those photos before she passed had been the one good thing to come out of the whole sorry mess.
“But did you really think I had a good time that night?” I asked her next.
My memories of that night mostly involved half the school avoiding me because they thought, like Tonia did, that I’d cheated on her, or making fun of me for being there with Marley in the first place. Nothing about that night counted as a happy memory for me. I spent the whole end of our senior year being miserable.
“I knew you were upset about Tonia,” she admitted. “But I thought you just needed time. I thought you’d go away to college and get over it. I thought for sure once you got a job and got your life started here that you’d get over it, but you never have.”
“Iamover it,” I argued. “Me not wanting a relationship with you has nothing to do with Tonia.”
“Maybe not, but you not wanting a relationship with anyone is a different story. You might think I’m a bitch for telling her the truth yesterday, but honestly, I did it for you. And yes, before you say anything, maybe part of it was for me too, but as much as I hoped you might want to move on with me, mostly I just want to see you move on. It’s been six years. You deserve to be happy, and Tonia isn’t the one who can give you that. You need to let her go, for real this time.”
I thought I had. I had certainly tried.
Maybe I just didn’t know how.
“I should go.” Marley stood up and grabbed the empty plates off the table. “I’m sorry for tonight.”
Standing up myself, I followed her back into the kitchen. “Is this why you haven’t found someone yourself? Were you waiting on me?”
She winced one last time. “I don’t know. Maybe?”
What was wrong with the both of us? We made a sorry pair, and despite the awkwardness, I hoped this talk had done us good. Maybe now that the truth was out there, we could all put this behind us, not just me and Marley, but Tonia too. Maybe this would be the final nudge I needed to let go of Tonia at last.
I kept thinking about it after Marley left, and the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became about what I needed to do. The time had never been better to make a fresh start, and there was no time like the present. The next night, when we all went out for drinks after work, I would show Tonia exactly how over her I was.
~Tonia~
I didn’t give myself time to brood when I got home from work on Wednesday. First, I made a few calls to make sure everything was in place for the get-together at Dex’s new gallery on Friday. He’d only asked me to arrange some food, but I wanted to do more than that. We were celebrating Dex’s achievement, certainly, but we were also celebrating Shawna for being a fighter and making it through another initial round of chemo. With that in mind, I organized some balloons and flowers and cake along with supper. I even bought some art supplies so that we could all take part in creating something to mark the occasion without using up Dex’s own supplies.
Maybe it would be over-the-top, but I didn’t care. Life had enough crappy moments to deal with, so when a good thing came along, we might as well make a fuss about it.
And speaking of dealing with the less-good things, I also did some prep work for the following night’s after-work drinks. Putting me and Cam and booze in the same room seemed like a recipe for disaster, so I didn’t intend to let it get out of control. If I couldn’t control myself on my own, I would need to bring in some backup.
I didn’t have an appointment with Cam in the office on Thursday, splitting my time between two of the other executives, and I did my best not to look when I heard his laugh or his rumbling voice as he spoke to some of the other people in the office.
If I let myself, it would be all too easy to remember that voice in my ear when we were in his apartment the other night. In fact, goosebumps erupted down my arms even as I tried not to think about it. It wouldn’t take long to move from that to remembering the feel of his lips on my skin or the look of hunger in his eyes, and soon my whole body ached with longing, which was hardly what I needed in the middle of a training session.
When the work day ended, Marianne and I and some of the other women in the office took a trip to the restroom, doing some last-minute primping before we headed out. The room was filled with laughter, but I could sense some nerves too. The company was still young, this evening would be one of their first social events, and there were a lot of young, single people of both genders. The possibility for flirtation and maybe even the odd hook-up or two ran high.
“Have you got your eye on anyone tonight, Tonia?” one of the account managers asked me as I touched up my makeup. “You’ve spent a lot of one-on-one time with most of the senior managers.”
She sounded rather jealous of that fact, and a quick glance around the room showed me all the other women were listening curiously to see what my response would be.
I quickly set their minds at ease. “Not at all. In fact, I’ve got someone coming to meet me at the bar.”
That seemed to take the woman by surprise. “Really? I could have sworn you and Bradyn had some chemistry going on. Didn’t you spend some time together down in Corpus Christi?”
It took all my self-control not to choke on my response. “Not that kind of time. If you’re interested in Bradyn, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I thought you and Cameron had something,” one of the other ones piped up. “He can’t take his eyes off you, I’ve noticed.”
I tried not to flush at that idea, but someone else quickly jumped in so luckily, I didn’t have to answer. “And I thought you were into Jason. You’ve had a couple of lunches with him.”
Marianne looked taken aback by that, so I quickly tried to reassure her and put all the rumours to rest at once. “I’m not intoanyonehere. I’m just here to do my job and at the end of the month, I’ll be gone. I had no idea you were all paying so much attention.”
