Page 25 of A Matter of Time
She didn’t say how I could let her know, but she didn’t have to. I just had to put the word out to anyone in Sandy Creek and they would make sure she knew. At that moment, however, I had no intention of doing any such thing.
By the time I got to the hospital, I had completely focused back on my brother, pushing all my own juvenile drama to the back of my mind. I texted Dex when I arrived and he said Shawna had woken up so I should go straight to her room.
The cancer ward never felt like a very happy place to be and that night, it felt even more depressing than usual. The grim looks on the faces of other visitors reminded me how bad things could get and the smell of disinfectant made me feel slightly nauseous, but the sight that greeted me when I arrived at Shawna’s room still warmed my heart. Dex sat in a chair beside the bed, holding Shawna’s hand, his head close to hers as they laughed over some private joke. Exhaustion was written across both of their faces, but it faded in the light of the affection they so obviously had for each other.
Every woman deserved someone who looked at them the way my brother looked at his wife.
Those kinds of words would never come out of my mouth, though. My relationship with my brother usually avoided any kind of overtly sentimental display, so I said something completely different to announce my arrival: “You both look like shit.”
Women like Shawna and me didn’t want things sugarcoated, and she smiled at me as I walked in, not taking offense in the least.
“At least I have an excuse,” she said, her voice softer and scratchier than usual, before she gestured at her husband. “I’m not sure what his problem is.”
Dex scratched at the stubble along his jawline that had gone well beyond a five o’clock shadow. “What’d’ya expect when I haven’t showered in four days?”
“Ugh, your poor wife!” I exclaimed. “She shouldn’t have to deal with your stench on top of everything else. Here, take these and go shower right now. I’ll stay until you’re back.”
Shawna nodded in agreement and Dex wearily got to his feet, leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back real soon, baby.” Coming around the foot of the bed, he took the bags of clothes from my hands. “Thanks, Tonia.”
“Of course.” I wrinkled my nose as he got closer. “You should have called me sooner.”
He gave me just a hint of his usual smile before leaving the room, and I quickly took his spot on the chair next to Shawna’s bed.
“I’ve got a few things for you too. If there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”
She thanked me and took a look through the bag, laughing when I told her why I’d bought the books. When she’d looked through it all, she put the bag to the side and turned back to me. “So, what’s going on with you and Cam?”
I tried not to groan. “Not you too. What have my sisters said?”
“Nothing,” she promised, and laughed again when I raised my eyebrows. “Honestly, it wasn’t them. Dex told me you guys are working together and that he came here with you on Friday night. So, the question stands: what’s going on?”
“Wouldn’t you rather read some of your new books instead?” I suggested. “It would be a lot more entertaining, and have a happier ending too.”
She gave me an unimpressed look. “I asked because I want to know. And I’m pretty sure you have to do as I say, those are the rules of the cancer ward. The one in the bed has the final say.”
She had me there, so I gave her the short version: “He’s working at the company I’ve been contracted with this month. We ended up having some drinks together on Friday night, as colleagues, and he was there when I got Dex’s text, so he came with me to the hospital. That’s it.”
Her lips pursed in disapproval at my weak summary. “Try again.”
With a sigh, I backed up and told her the whole story. She didn’t interrupt but I could practically see her making mental notes at different things she wanted to come back to, and I noticed her trying not to laugh when I told her about my lunch with Jason.
When I added the part about Marley turning up at my apartment an hour ago, she shook her head. “I honestly don’t know which of you two is more stubborn.”
“Me or Marley?” I asked in confusion.
“You orCam,” she clarified. “Though if I had to put money on it, I’d bet on you.”
“I’m not stubborn,” I protested. “At least not where he’s concerned. I’m just standing up for myself. He hurt me, and he doesn’t get to get away with that.”
“Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook,” she argued back. “It’s about finding a way to move forward, but neither of you have done that. You’re both still stuck in the past.”
“I am not.” I realized I sounded like a child, but she had really struck a nerve. “Ihavemoved on and that’s why I don’t need to talk about it anymore, especially not with ‘the other woman’.”
Shawna had a different interpretation. “You don’t want to talk to Marley because you’re afraid.”
“I am not afraid of her,” I scoffed, leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms. Marley had far more reason to be scared of me than I was of her.
“I didn’t say you were. You’re afraid of finding out that there was more to what happened back then than you let yourself think. It’s all been black and white in your mind, and you’re afraid that if you let in some shades of grey, it’s going to mess up the whole picture. And most of all, I think you’re afraid that somewhere deep down, you still care about him.”
