Page 19 of Barron's Second Chance
After her ad campaign at eighteen blew up, he lost all hope of getting her back. The shy and reserved girl who would tug down a skirt if it was too short had purposely posed topless for a nationwide ad campaign. If that didn't scream, "I'm over you," then he didn't know what did.
But what made him give up completely was the phone call her Mom received at his kitchen table a few weeks later. He could hear Eden's screeches through the speaker, and he almost gathered up his keys so that he could try and track her down, thinking she was in trouble.
But, no.
That phone call would carry her out of his life forever.
After that, he started to see Lissa exclusively. It was what the other girl kept pushing him for, so he finally slept with her. Until then, he refused to sleep with Lissa, holding out hope that Eden would take him back. He thought it would endear him to her if she learned that he hadn't let it get that far with Lissa.
But after he watched her car leave the town limits of New Haven, her trunk laden with all her belongings, his hope and heart went along with her.
He and Lissa were on and off for a year before she picked his phone up to google something and discovered his secret. He had a tab open on the internet browser on his phone. Not of porn. It would have been better if he did.
No - they were all searches of Eden.
"This is why you won't fully commit to me," she had accused him, tears welling in her eyes. "This is why I feel like there's a ten-foot wall around you whenever I try to get close. You're still not over her. You still love her."
He hadn't denied it. What would be the point?
After that, he had taken to casual hookups with tourists who came through town during their busy holiday periods. Satisfied with the sexual release they could provide, but unwilling to fully let his heart get involved.
Meanwhile, he fully leaned into his obsession with Eden. Like a drug addict, he searched for anything and everything related to his former love. He checked her Instagram every day - bolstered by the fact that she had unblocked him. That had to mean something, right?
But his hope soured when he discovered, while looking over his Mom's shoulder one day, that Eden had a private page; listed under a fake name to avoid being uncovered. She had seventy-two followers on there; all trusted friends and family members. Her main page, one she updated constantly but impersonally, was reserved for fans. He was reduced to one of six point five million fans.
Still, that didn't stop him from googling stupid things like "what is this year's Met Gala theme?" and looking forward to what costume she would be gracing the event with. He didn't even know what a Met Gala was until he saw a picture of her dressed in a fiery red catsuit at twenty years old.
He streamed the two times she walkedVictoria's Secret Fashion Show. The image of her in a gold, bejeweled bikini - white angel wings flapping like a halo behind her, was something he dreamed about for months after viewing.
His obsession was rumbled, however, when his mom logged into his Youtube account and was bombarded with video suggestions and viewing histories of Eden. His mom had paused in her perusal while his face felt like a thousand fire ants were crawling over it. She continued without missing a beat, ignoring that his search bar had her name all over it.
After that shameful event, he stopped cold turkey. He blocked her Instagram account to remove the temptation and spent two weeks watching random videos on his Youtube account to remove any video suggestions of her.
It was hard at first. Whenever he reached for his phone, he started typing her name like muscle memory. His heart would race, and he could feel his body sweat in anticipation. He was like a drug addict. The only fix he needed was Eden.
But he forced himself to stop. It wasn't healthy and certainly wasn't making him get over Eden any faster. And he needed to get over her.
The only small bump he allowed himself was the New Haven Alert Instagram page he followed. It gave updates on events and news in New Haven and the surrounding towns. But it mainly provided updates on Eden Jamison. That was how he discovered she was dating Joshua Gates, lead singer of The Living English.
So while he had compelled himself to cease his Eden obsession, he still allowed himself a little taster now and then.
California sober is what he called it. Not completely clean, but he had quelled the worst of his habit.
However, after the news he just had from his Mom, he thought, "to hell with it." Her name brought back that shaky and sweaty feeling.
He knew just the cure.
He brought up Youtube and typed in "Eden Jamison day in the life of" and hit search.
A year after her debut at New York Fashion Week, a well-known fashion magazine and blog featured a fifteen-minute video on their channel dedicated to Eden. They showcased other models in a series titled "Day in the Life of." But there was only one model he cared about.
He hadn't watched the video in almost a year, but he could still memorize every word she spoke.
His leg bounced up and down as he watched a white door open, revealing a beautiful smiling Eden. He leaned forward as she beckoned the cameras into her apartment and spoke openly as she moved effortlessly around her small home, putting on makeup and posing in a simple white T-shirt and black jeans.
He avidly watched as the cameras followed her to a cafe while she ordered a Poke bowl. It was this scene where she casually sat outside and openly conversed about her home life.
"I'm from a small town in Pennsylvania called New Haven. It's just me and my Mom, who's my best friend and to whom I owe my career. How I was discovered was so out of the blue. I was down in the dumps over a breakup, and she suggested we go to New York on a girl's trip to try and get me out of my funk."
