Page 11 of Barron's Second Chance
Barron threw his phone back on his bedside table without responding. The initial surge he felt that maybe, just maybe, Eden had unblocked him and reached out faded into disappointment.
And regret.
Boy, did he have a lot of that.
Regret for letting Simon, the cousin heusedto idolize, talk him into hanging out with Brad all summer instead of his own friends. Friends that he had been tight with since Middle School and before.
Regret for feeling pressured by Simon into letting Lissa tag along with them when he and Maria started something up. Regret that he let Lissa flirt with him when he knew - when everyone knew - that he had a longtime girlfriend whom he loved. And still loved.
Regret that he felt tempted by Lissa, letting her get in his ear about how high school love didn't last, how he was missing out on a sample of girls. Regret for not pushing her away when she kissed him.
Regret. Regret. Regret.
Such a small word, yet it had a huge emotional impact.
He reached over to open his bedside drawer, pulling out a silver photo frame he had hurriedly stuffed there when he first brought Lissa to his room.
Out of sight, out of mind. Or so he thought.
He lovingly traced the photo inside the heavy frame. It was taken at his house by his pool.
At the pool, he had been caught by his girlfriend of three years with another girl.
He wore sunglasses to protect his eyes against the sun's bright glare. Eden had looked smoking hot in her red string bikini, and he remembered tugging her against his chest, wrapping an arm around her shoulder; and holding his camera phone out to take a selfie. Their faces were beaming. Eden loved the photo and promptly printed out two copies to frame. One for him and one for her. He had faithfully kept it on his bedside table.
Until he didn't.
He wondered what she did with hers. He couldn’t blame her if she threw it out in anger. It was what he deserved and more.
He didn't have sex with Lissa when he brought her to his room. In his immature mind, he stupidly thought,'hey, if we're not having sex, it's not full-blown cheating.'
Like he said, stupid.
Instead, he made out with Lissa on the same bed he had lost his virginity to Eden. It wasn’t long before the guilt became too much for him. So, in a moment of clarity, he pulled away and suggested they go downstairs to watch a movie.
Unfortunately, his mom had come home early from work and had caught them exiting his room. It was then that he told his first major lie to his mom.
He saw the shock on her face, obviously coming to the correct conclusion that he was messing around on Eden. Eden, who was like a daughter to her.
Barron couldn't bear the disappointment on her face, so he pulled his mom aside and made up a story about how he and Eden had split before she went to Florida. He explained that they wanted to keep it a secret until she was back, and they could tell their parents in person together.
He wasn't sure if his mom believed him, but she nevertheless took his word for it, making herself scarce with a disappointed shake of her head. After that incident, he never invited Lissa back to his house on her own, only with a group of people.
He carried on the rest of the summer, acting single and ignoring his friend's shocked and angry faces whenever he crossed paths with them. He felt terrible. Every day he had a cement block in his stomach that made him ache every time he moved further and further away from redeeming himself. He even started declining Eden’s calls because hearing her voice and seeing her face would've been too much for him. He wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from blurting out his indiscretions. Simon had rolled his eyes and informed Barron that he was better off without them. That Brad and his crew were more to his style. Even though Barron couldn't stand them, he let popularity, his cousin, and Lissa screw with his head, and in doing so, he lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.
The day that Eden walked in on him with Lissa was hands down the worst day of his life. When he turned his head and saw Eden's shocked and hurt face, it was like a bucket of ice-cold water had been thrown over him.
He had it in his head that he would sit and talk with her when she returned. Tell her he loved her but wanted to be free for a while, date other people, and have new experiences.
The shock of seeing Eden, knowing what she walked in on and realizing that he didn't want to be free of her after all, had muddled his thoughts. He could feel her slipping away, but he had prepared his break-up speech in his head for so long that he half said it and half took it back. He was a stuttering mess, his head not knowing what he wanted until she slammed his front door.
His mom had been waiting in the kitchen for him, anger and disappointment radiating through her.
"Get everyone out of here.Now." Her voice held barely controlled rage.
Barron didn't need to be told twice. Even if his mom hadn't been there, he would've kicked them out. The damage had been done, and he was in no mood to party. His mom gave him a verbal lashing, her tears of fury making him tear up, too. Not because his mom was yelling at him. But because he couldn't shake the look of hurt and pain on Eden's face. He could still see it when he closed his eyes at night.
He tried to call Eden a couple of days later. The shame of his actions prevented him from trying to reach out any sooner. Besides, he didn’t know what to say. Apologize. Explain. Get down on bended knee and beg forgiveness. His calls and texts went unanswered before he realized she had blocked him.
