Page 37 of Broken Rules
“Evie, we need to talk.”
“Talk about what?” I ask, crossing my arms as I face my mother, swiping away the smoke that filters around us. “Since when did you start smoking again?”
She huffs a laugh. “Can we go inside?”
“I’m surprised you remember where I live. I’ve been here for eight years, and you only came once.”
“I’m not here to argue with you.”
“Neither am I. We’re having a conversation, and I’ve not once raised my tone.”
Dropping the cigarette on my pathway, she presses her foot on it, choosing my battles, so I hold my tongue since she’s littering on my property. “Are you going to let me in?”
“No. Whatever you need to talk about can wait until tomorrow at Vivid because I’m more than positive it has something to do with work, and I leave work at the door.”
“I wouldn’t be here if it was regarding work.”
“What do you want?” I ask, losing my patience.
Gin breathes out a heavy breath. “Alright. It’s obvious there’s an issue between us that needs settling. So I’m here to settle it.”
An ache creeps into my throat. “An issue…you think there’s only an issue between us? Not you keeping me in the dark about why we left Cali, neglecting me my whole childhood, how you were always around but never present. Do you know how it feels to be alone in a building full of people?”
“That’s not fair,” she says, shaking her head. “I did everything to ensure you had a roof over your head and food on the table.”
Tears spring to my eyes as I hold back a bitter laugh. “Fair? Nothing has ever been fair. My feelings never mattered, and every decision you made was to benefit you. Not me. Dad came here, and you drove him away. Why?”
Her jaw clenches as she looks down, not surprised that she would ignore my question, and I blink away the tears. “If you want to talk about our issues, ‘mend the bridge’between us to makeourlife easier, then come back when you’re ready to talk like adults.”
I unlock my door, leave her standing on the steps, and lean against the other side. Drawing out my phone, I dial Dad, waiting through the ringing, and his voice comes through—“Hey, it's Marco. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you soon.Ciao.”
Ending the call, I slump to the floor and hug my knees.
I don’t want to go!
Mommy’s crying, making me leave my toys as she rushes me outside, Daddy coming in front of her when we reach our car.
“Marco, move out of my way….” Her voice sounds broken.
“Please, don’t take our daughter from me.”
I get out of her hold, running to hug Daddy’s leg, and he crouches down, holding me close. “Daddy, I want to stay with you.”
“Shh, don’t worry, baby girl.” He kisses my cheeks over and over. “I love you, and I won’t be far—”
Banging the back of my head against the door, I chew on my bottom lip to bite back a sob, tears stinging the back of my eyelids as the memories run rampant, and I stand, heading upstairs to attempt falling asleep. Same shit, different fucking day.
* * *
Lennox is here when I stroll into the main floor for my Friday performance, sitting at the bar with a beer in hand, talking with a regular, which means he’s becoming one, and I can’t hide the butterflies that enter my stomach. However, I’m slightly disappointed his name wasn’t in my voyeur queue tonight. A few spots are still available, which fills up quickly. There’s still time. Oscar transitions to my song, and I glance at Lennox before heading to the stage, performing my act, adding an extra piece since I have time until my first customer.
He’s watching but is still by the bar, which is unlike him.
I’m breathing hard when I finish, staying on stage a moment too long.What am I doing?I plaster on a smile as patrons cheer, trying not to look at him as I head for the dressing room. Leaning on my station, I close my eyes, unable to stop the doubt from settling into my stomach.
He’s not toying with me.Stop creating issues that aren’t there.
I look at myself in the mirror before walking to the shower, taking my time, breathing, then getting back to work—I return to work the next day, and he’s here, Monday, Wednesday, Lennox is here, sitting at the bar drinking a beer, watching the floor, but he hasn’t been present. Not once has he come to see me in several days.I’ve allowed myself to open up in ways I haven’t with anyone but my small circle, and he’s ghosting me in plain sight.
