Page 41 of The Gift
I glance away from his stare to look at Henley, and the look in his eyes are laden with so much it’s hard to keep looking at him. Having a moments grace from them, not the deep conversation, I think a little on his comment, and he’s right. While I have alpha anxiety, there’s no glaring or obvious alarms, it’s more of a generalised warning. Or it might be that those alphas are dead, their influence gone along with them. Shit, I hope that’s the case.
Like always, when I actually spend the time instead of actively avoiding the topic, the hairs on my arms stand on end, which is a good sign to shut any thoughts down before I morph into something akin to my nightmare. No emotions are way easier to deal with than an overflow of memories, which is the lure of those suppressants of mine.
And while on the one hand I am immensely proud of myself for sitting here this long with the A-team, I’m eager for a change of scenery, need it really. It’s not the alpha intensity, I’ve been desensitising myself with them, one by one, I’ve simply reached my limit. Last night with Koda was pretty fucking massive, not only in terms of incredible orgasms but in other ways. Though I suspect things with Koda would always be solidly easy, much like with Reno. Though with Reno he has a different energy that is almost healing.
“I think that’s enough,” I say, taking advantage of my purposeful pause in their rundown, rising to my feet.
“I wish it was. We have one more kick ass confession.” Ashton groans, his mouth caught in a grimace.
“Fantastic,” I purr sarcastically, half playing, half serious.
“We floated the concept to Donnie because we’re shareholders in Exposé,” Henley confesses, not beating around the bush or dragging the moment out longer than needs.
Honestly, what do you say to that? On one hand, I appreciate them telling me, on the other his confession opens up another of my nesting dolls. Is it relevant? I don’t know. I really am done.
I take a step past him, and he reaches out to grab my retreating hand. “Bailey, I am so fucking sorry. I should have stopped a while ago. You should have said something. I… I really wanted you to know, to see, that our pack is different. I wanted everything on the table so you could see it all.”
I pull my hand from his. “What you showed me, is a lot. I appreciate your honesty, but I’ve hit a wall. I need to go.” I’ve gone from sitting to standing, listening to escaping in the blink of an eye, but my tolerance burnt away minutes ago.
The reality is none of them could have prepared or done anything different. I can coast along, generally in most scenarios, but when I reach a point, a door slams inside me. Exposé Media are used to it, they call it my bratty starlet. When we socialise, my team knows I reach a point in the night where I go from dancing on tables and being the belle of the ball, to running into the night without a backwards glance. Coping mechanisms come in all different shapes and sizes, but at the crux of it, is that I know myself better than anyone else. When I’m done, I am so fucking done. Like now.
“I’ll take you.”
I know without looking up that Koda is standing at the door already. Honestly, he’s somehow become something more than a quick fuck. I have no idea how or what that is, but I know it.
“I drove myself here,” I say, bending down and putting my back to the room to search through my baby blue Burberry to grab my keys. The little dose of familiarity with my bag is like a swipe of aloe vera in a sense.
“Well, how about you drive us to the cottage?” he asks in his quiet manner.
“Shit, I totally forgot about that.”
I check my watch and am stunned that we have an hour until we meet the rest of the team, which means I’ve only been here for ninety minutes. Time warped around me, dragging me backwards in a way, releasing me slowly or that might have been the heavy unveiling, either way, my time with the A-team feels much longer.
“Bailey, out of everything today, the only thing we want and need you to understand is that your confidentiality is assured. No one out of these four walls knows the truth, no one will find out your truth either,” Henley reiterates, in his respectfully restrained but undeniable alpha voice.
“Except the mystery person who wants to hurt me, apparently. Oh, let’s not forget the entitlements from people still living one hundred years or so ago that want to throw me back in a cage and start testing to see who owns me.”
Henley snarls, not at me, but his fire breathing fury flares abruptly at what I said. How do I know? He swears like a docker, weaving murderous intent between each syllable.
Koda
Instead of bolting, she waits next to me as Ashton rushes closer, Reno too. Henley holds himself back, and it drives me fucking rabid, but that’s his choice in how he acts. He won’t drive or influence mine.
My fingers brush her fringe back behind her ear, an incredibly intimate move, but I can’t not. There’s a newly found drive in me to soothe, care, support, worship her.
It’s not every day you find your girl.
Driving home last night to lay down the law with Henley, Ashton, and Reno was easier than I thought it would be. Although, they’re not stupid—they smelt her scent on me; they picked up on the way my scent had changed to match.
Our pack has been together through thick and thin. I won’t intentionally avoid any discussion pertaining to Bailey. She holds that ability and power that has people questioning their lifelong choices. Indeed, I’ve spent a lot of today caught up in figuring out what that exactly means, and so far I’ve come up blank, though her presence is around me the whole time. Now, she’s in front of me, it reinforces to me that life as I know it has already changed.
My hands move from fixing her hair to the back of her nape and the instant my hand engulfs her neck, she drops her eyes. Not in submission. It is in sheer fucking relief. I feel her respond to me in every bone of my body, and I couldn’t stop the rumbling purr in my chest if I tried.
I feel her transforming under my hand, to becoming the one-dimensional woman she sometimes needs to be. Her eyes locked on mine the whole time in some way, letting me know it’s not me she’s running from.
I want to tell her not to do what she’s doing, but that is not my place. I will instead stand next to her while she does what she needs. She might not be dealing how I want her to, but she is dealing the way she needs. I will always be supportive of that.
It doesn’t escape anyone’s notice that she turns slightly to Reno. Without looking at him, she grabs briefly on to his hand before she lets it fall away.
