Page 85 of Fake it For Good
“Boy, how would I have ever become the successful man I am today without you?” I asked dryly. “Oh wait. I was successful with you in my life. But after you left with—”
“I didn’t leave,” she corrected. “You left me. You quit.”
“You cheated,” I said. “You were fucking around for I don’t know how long, and I don’t care. My point is after cutting off the dead weight, I’ve been more successful. You’re a drag. You’re a time suck and nothing but a bag of stress. I feel very fortunate you couldn’t keep your legs closed. I’m doing better than ever.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t even act like you’re doing better with that woman. We both know she only offers you one thing. I never knew you were a tubby chaser.”
“Fuck you. Shut up. Noelle has more class in her little finger than you do in your entire body. Insult her all you want. We both know you’ll never be the woman she is.”
“I hope not,” she said, laughing. “That girl needs to cut back on the cheeseburgers.”
I shook my head. “You really are a sad, disgusting woman, Kelly. I don’t know what I ever saw in you. I do know it’s gone now. I can’t stand to look at you. I don’t know why you’re here, but you need to leave. I want nothing to do with you. If you show up here again, I will have security keep you out of the building. You’re a nuisance. You’re losing and this is your way of trying to crawl your way back into my life. It is never going to happen. You made your bed. You get to lie in it.”
“I’m going to reprise my role as Mrs. Claus,” she announced. “I know last year was not as good as it could have been. You need me. I’m willing to put aside our differences and help us both out.”
I stared at her and looked for any signs she was drunk. Or high. “Did you hit your head?”
“What?”
“You just said the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” I said. “You don’t look drunk. I was wondering if you have a head injury.”
“Stop it,” she said with her fake laugh. “You know I’m right. That little schtick worked. People ate it up. They love to see a handsome couple. And I look good in that costume. I can charm the pants right off any buyer. I will have those stuck-up retail buyers eating out of the palm of my hand.”
“I thought you had your own line to launch,” I said. I was pretty sure it had all been bullshit. She got into bed with shady people, and she got screwed over. I knew it, but I doubted she would ever admit it.
“There’s been a delay with the manufacturing,” she said. “I won’t be able to launch until spring. I’m going to the event to promote my new line, but I can do double duty. I scratch your back, and when it comes time to launch my line, you’ll scratch mine.”
“You are out of your mind,” I said. “I don’t know what delusion you’re operating under, but hell no.”
“I’m offering to help you,” she said. “People love me as Mrs. Claus.”
“People don’t remember you,” I replied. “You and I have not been together for two years. No one cares that you aren’t Mrs. Claus. I don’t need or want you anywhere near my company.”
“Stop, just agree to it.”
“No,” I said, laughing. “Do you actually think I’m just going to do what you say? Leave, Kelly. Don’t come back. Don’t go to the Macy’s thing. You don’t have a line to reveal. There’s no point for you to go.”
“I’m going!”
“You’re only going to cause drama,” I said. “No one cares. You played your hand when you tried to be my competition. You failed. Take what you have and go away.”
“I need to be there, Cane. I have to be seen. People will forget me.”
“I have,” I said.
“Don’t be a dick! You’ve never turned your back on anyone that needed a little help.”
“Fine, go. You can play an elf. The role of Mrs. Claus has already been filled.”
Her lips curled back again. “I would rather eat a bag of dicks.”
“I’m sure you’ve already done that before,” I replied. “You should be used to it.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“You said I help people out,” I said. “I’m sure we can find an elf costume for you. That’s the only way you’re getting in. You don’t have an invitation, do you?”
She didn’t answer, which told me that was exactly the case. She had been burning bridges left and right all over town. A few people were loyal to me. They knew what she had done and had vowed to never do business with her. I could care less. I was confident in the quality of my toys. I knew she would look for the easy money without caring about what she was peddling. It was bound to catch up with her.
