Page 87 of Fake it For Good
“Something like that,” I said.
We browsed the store, picking up this or that before I finally found some white gloves. Then our shopping spree led us to another quirky store.
“These are perfect!” I grabbed a pair of red ornament earrings that lit up.
“Those are so you,” she said, laughing.
“I’m going to get them.”
“You’re putting in a lot of effort for this look,” she said.
“I want to make sure I do him proud,” I told her. “It’s a big deal. This is the Super Bowl for toy people.”
After making my purchase, we made our way to a small café to enjoy a pastry inside the warm building. “What exactly do you have to do at this party?” she asked.
“I think I’m just supposed to smile and hang out by the display for his toys,” I said. “I’m literally arm candy. I never thought I would call myself that, but that’s what this is. I’m hoping my costume will be fabulous enough to attract attention. People are going to want to say something about the dress. Maybe take a picture with me. Apparently, there will be a little backdrop set up for pictures. Then I’ll casually tell them who I am. I’m not going to ask for anything except names. The more contacts I can make, the better. Next year, if I have fifty people I can hit up for donations, I’ll probably get maybe ten. Right now, our contact list is way too short. I hate calling the same people over and over and begging them for help. I want to be able to ask for a little from many versus a lot from a few.”
“And Cane is okay with that?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re making moves while he’s paying you to be his one and only,” she said.
“He is the one that talked up the nonprofit,” I said, slightly defensive. “I asked him if he was okay with it.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’m not accusing. I just was wondering. How is it going with the two of you?”
“I’m not even sure,” I said. “I feel like I have one foot in reality and another foot in fantasy land. I’m not sure which one is real. I mean reality is real, but is it? The fantasy is pretty damn real.”
“I think we both know you’re crazy about him,” she said.
I groaned. “I am. Why? What am I doing? I know this would never work. I look at him and then me and there couldn’t be two more different people.”
“If you’re comparing your bank accounts, I don’t think that’s fair,” she said. “Has he presented himself as an arrogant jerk?”
“No, not at all. It’s just he has everything. I have nothing. I bring nothing to the table. Every relationship should be a give and take. I have nothing to give.”
“I think the game is a little different when you’re like he is,” she said. “He doesn’t need more money or tangible things. He needs someone who will love him for who he is, not what he has. That’s what you bring to the table.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure that’s enough,” I said. “I’m not going to say I love him. I can’t. This thing we have is very strange. We act like we’re a couple even when there’s no one around, but we both know it’s still an act. It’s not like we’re really a couple. Does that make any sense? This is what it sounds like in my head. I’m like a dog chasing its tail. I’m getting nowhere. I’m spinning in circles and have no idea what the hell I’m doing.”
“Look, I think there is something between you, but I’m not quite so romantic to believe attraction and good sex transcends all,” she said gently. “I think you need to get through this party. If you go home with him, fine. But don’t make any big decisions until after a few days. Maybe a week. You go back to your life with your fat paycheck and wait to see if he reaches out.”
“What if he waits for me to reach out?” I countered.
“After a week, shoot him a text. Ask how he’s doing or something innocent like that. Go from there. Follow his cues.”
It was good advice, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I was hoping she would tell me I should tell him how I felt and wait for him to tell me the same. I wanted her to tell me he had to be crazy about me. “I’m not very patient,” I muttered.
“You could tell him you want this thing to be for real,” she said with no conviction.
“But you think that would be stupid,” I stated.
“I think you might be jumping the gun,” she said. “But I’m not in bed with you guys. If he’s given you reason to believe there could be more, then go with that. I’m just the lady looking through the windows. I don’t know what the two of you have.”
“Me either,” I groaned. “I just don’t even know what I’m supposed to do.”
“Just get through the party,” she said. “You don’t need to worry about what hasn’t happened. He might make the first move. Just let it ride.”
