Page 67 of Fake it For Good
“I like it,” I said.
“It’s magical,” she breathed. She spun around with her arms out.
“How long have you been coming up here?” I asked her.
“Would you believe I actually lived in this building at one point?” she asked.
“When?”
She didn’t immediately answer. “It feels like a lifetime ago. I was eighteen. Fresh out on my own with nowhere to go.” She looked at me. “I was homeless for a bit. This building is horrible, and no one would actually want to live here, but for six months, it was my home. Mine and probably twenty other young people.”
My heart squeezed. I couldn’t imagine being homeless. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. Partly because it was cold as shit and partly because I just really needed to hold her.
“We would come up here and lay out on the roof all night,” she said. “I would stare up at the stars and think about the other people around the country. I used to imagine other people on rooftops with no real home, no family, no anything. I wished there was a way I could reach out and let them know they weren’t alone.”
“You wanted to help,” I said.
“I did. Despite my situation, I didn’t feel helpless. I wasn’t sad or miserable. Yes, there were some hard times, but I had my freedom. I could do anything. I knew I wanted to help. As it turned out, I had a unique advantage.”
“An advantage to being homeless?” I asked.
“Yes. I knew what it was like to be down and out. I knew what it felt like to be hungry and cold. I would never call myself a success story or claim I had lived a rags-to-riches life, but I could empathize. I could relate and that’s what people want. They didn’t want people to look down on them or pity them. They just wanted someone to understand.”
As I listened to her talk, I felt like I had a new understanding of her. It made me want to know her more. I wanted to know her story.
“Is that why you work with a nonprofit?” I asked.
“It was like the perfect job for me,” she replied. “It didn’t start as a job. I was volunteering at first. Then a paid admin position came up. They offered it to me, and I jumped at the chance. I got my apartment and then started working some side jobs.”
“You’re an amazing woman,” I said.
“I’m not sure I would say amazing, but I’m pretty damn happy with the way things are shaping up,” she said, laughing. “But tell me more about your ex.”
“Gross, why?” I said.
“I’m just having the hardest time picturing the two of you together,” she said. “I’m going to be blunt because that’s the only way I know how to be. Your ex is a big olebiotch.”
I laughed and kissed her forehead. “I agree.”
“Please tell me how you ended up with her,” she said. “I just don’t get it. There were twenty women there tonight I could have imagined you with. She is not one of them.”
I blew out a breath. “Kelly wasn’t always the way she is now. Or maybe she was, and I didn’t see it. Back then, the business was fairly new. My parents had died not long before and I was alone in the world. I met Kelly and she said and did all the right things. She wasn’t different, but she wasn’t quite the woman she is today.”
“I don’t want to be nosey, but what happened?”
I took another deep breath. “I wish I could say there was one thing that went wrong. Unfortunately, I think it was a combination of things. We were happy to start with. At least, I was happy. She seemed happy. She was always encouraging me to work just a little harder. When the business started making money, things changed. Not for the better. Kelly wanted more, but I convinced myself it was just two people changing and growing.”
“And then it wasn’t?”
“And then I began to feel like a cash cow,” I said. “She was pushing me to work more and take more chances because she wanted more money. She wanted the money. She wanted the clout. She wanted the big house and the Mercedes. It was like she felt she did her time and that was all she had to do. She paid her dues. I suspected she was having an affair, but I didn’t want to believe it. Then she made sure I couldn’t ignore it. I had the unfortunate privilege of finding my wife in bed with another man.”
“Ouch,” she said.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t the worst thing to happen,” I said. “I figured out who she was. I had been operating under the idea we were going to live happily ever after. It was stupid. I knew I was forcing the fairytale. She wasn’t interested in what I wanted. We were going in different directions. She blamed me. I started to think about all the things I had done that might have pushed her into another man’s arms.”
“Fuck that,” she said. “I met the woman. I think she thought she needed more. Not just a little more. She wanted you to fund her lavish lifestyle without asking for anything in return. I met her. My life has given me yet another advantage. I see people. I’ve met some pretty ugly people and I’ve met some great people. Kelly is not great. She was not the right woman for you.”
“I believe it,” I said. “It took me a while to get there, but I get it now. I can’t imagine myself ever being back with that woman. I might live a pretty lonely existence, but at least I’m not going to find another man in my bed.”
