Page 78 of Mistletoe Mistake
“That's not necessary. I'm...” I trailed off as I realized what I had been about to say: the words on the tip of my tongue were 'I'm seeing someone'.
That was ridiculous. Gemma and I weren't in any kind of relationship. We had never even specified that we would be exclusive for the length of our deal. If I wanted to have a woman come to my room, there was absolutely no reason that I couldn't. And yet, I didn't want to. The thought of it completely turned me off.
“I'm tired,” I lied instead. “Thank you for your help.”
I closed the door behind him when he left and looked around at the empty suite, at something of a loss about what to do with myself. The clock on the TV told me it was almost midnight, and a quick calculation in my head worked out that it must be about three o'clock in the afternoon in London. Gemma would still be at work, which meant I shouldn't disturb her, but I would have liked to hear her voice anyway.
Shaking my head at myself, I went into the bathroom and took a shower instead. As soon as the water hit my body, my mind returned to the last shower I'd had on Sunday morning with Gemma. The memories were only good ones: the feel of her hands on me, the feel of my hand in her, and the wonderfully sexy sounds she made as I touched her.
Soon, I was touching myself, imagining it was her instead: her hands, her mouth, her wet, warm pussy.Fuck.I groaned as I came, half in pleasure and half in frustration. How could it even be possible that I wanted her more at that point than I had when we first met? My last solo session in the shower had been the night she'd left me alone in my suite when I'd confused her for a prostitute, and it almost made me laugh when I thought about it.
How had I ever thought there was anything artificial about the way she reacted to me? How had I ever thought that magical sparkle in her eyes could be bought? That anyone could ever put a price on her?
Stepping out of the shower, I dried myself off, grabbed my phone and composed a text.
Arrived in Tokyo. Need to make some appearances tomorrow but should be able to leave straight afterwards. Hopefully, I'll be back by Tuesday pm, but I'll let you know for sure when I'm leaving.
After hesitating a moment, I added one last line.
Thinking of you. C
As soon as I hit send, I wanted to take it back. Would she find it too much? Was I being clingy? Maybe I could play it off that I had been thinking of what I could do to her, rather than just of her in general.
Before I could stress too much, the dots popped up on my phone, letting me know Gemma was typing, almost as if she had been waiting for me to get in touch. That idea pleased me more than it should have.
Jackson sent me the link to the story this morning. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Hope it goes well. I'll be working late tonight, but missing you. G
Those simple words filled my chest with a lightness, a feeling of buoyancy, that almost made me feel I could fly. What the hell was going on? The fact that just a few words from her could so completely alter my mood scared me, and yet, I had to admit that I didn't completely dislike it either.
As the realization slowly hit me, I sank down onto the couch to try to get my bearings. Examining all the evidence, I couldn't deny it any longer: Gemma made me feel things. Things I hadn't felt in a long time and things I hadn't even thought I wanted to feel again. But now that I did, I didn't want to stop feeling them. I felt nervous and unsure and, yes, a little scared, but the point was that Ifelt.For the first time in years, I felt alive again.
Being with her made me happier. I cared about her happiness in return, and the thought of not seeing her again after Friday, or of only seeing her in a business capacity, made it feel like one of my limbs was about to be severed, like part of me would be missing without her there.
Even with that realization, I didn't know if she felt the same way at all. Were those feelings completely one-sided, the way it had been with Samantha? Gemma had been happy to take my deal, not asking anything more of me than what I offered her. Did that mean she wasn't interested in anything else? She'd just come out of such a long-term relationship that she might not be looking for anything serious.
Was it too late for me to renegotiate our terms?
Whatever the truth might be, I wouldn’t be able to figure it out over text. I would have to talk to her when I got back and try to find a way of asking her if she had any interest in turning the relationship between us into something real. I couldn't even begin to imagine how I was going to do that, but first, I had to figure out how to reply to her text. One place I could always feel in control with her was the bedroom, so I steered the conversation to the one thing I knew she did expect from me.
Can you do something for me tonight?
Her reply came in a second.Of course. What is it?
I couldn't help smiling as I typed.Lie naked in the middle of the bed, spread your legs wide, and make yourself come while thinking of me. Take a picture of your face immediately afterwards and send it to me.
Her reply wasn’t quite so immediate that time. I could almost see the way she would have bit her lip when she read it, the way her breathing would have sped up just a little.
When her reply came, it was succinct and to the point.
Yes, Mr Stamer.
I groaned again into the stillness of the empty room. I had to put a stop to that train of thought before I ended up having to get back in the shower.
Goodnight, Gemma. See you soon.
Goodnight, Cole. xx
Walking into the bedroom, I placed my phone on the bedside table. I wanted that picture to be the first thing I saw when I woke up. That way, I could almost pretend she was right here with me, and with that in mind, I climbed into bed, counting the hours until I could be with her again.
