Page 35 of Mistletoe Mistake
I managed a shaky smile instead. “Well, last night wasn’t exactly representative of the way things were between me and Edwin.”
That must have been the understatement of the century.
“How were they?” The question was straightforward and almost clinical. He wasn't looking for me to praise him in comparison; he just wanted an honest assessment.
Still, I couldn't help feeling awkward talking about it. I liked the fact that Cole seemed to think of me as some kind of goddess in the bedroom and I didn't want to lose the esteem he held me in. However, I had promised to answer his questions honestly, and Edwin's version of events was hardly a secret. I might as well be up front.
“We were together for eight years and I can count the orgasms he gave me on one hand.”
Cole's mouth dropped open in disbelief. I had never seen him lost for words, and it would have struck me as comical if the whole situation wasn't so ridiculously sad. His lips moved as if to form a question, but then he stopped himself. He looked at me, then looked away, then back at me again. Finally, he seemed to decide what he wanted to say: “You can't be serious.”
“I wish I wasn't. I mean, sometimes I could get there if I helped him along, but in terms of what he did on his own... that was about it."
"I don't understand." He looked so bewildered that again, I had the urge to laugh. Of course he didn't understand. With the skills he had, I couldn't imagine he had ever been in that kind of situation. "Why were you even together, then?"
"As I said, our actual feelings were secondary to the other benefits of our relationship. And, to be fair to Edwin, he didn't know how bad it was for a long time."
Cole's brow furrowed in confusion. "How could he not know?"
I grimaced, looking down in shame. "Well, I didn't want him to feel bad, so... I faked it. A lot."
The way he shook his head in disappointment had me feeling even more embarrassed.
“I know now that it didn’t help matters at all. It was a stupid thing to do, but he would get frustrated that nothing happened, and I didn't want him to feel bad.”
“He should have felt bad.” Cole's response was as blunt as always.
“Well, I was young and inexperienced and I didn’t want to blame him. And when I got tired of pretending, he assumed that something had changed. Eventually, we spent less and less time together in bed since it ended up being a frustrating experience for both of us. So, in the end, it's not really that shocking that he left me for someone who was more sexually compatible with him. I just wish he'd gone about it differently.”
“And he talked about your... lack of response on the show?” Cole guessed.
“Right. He pretty much said that he had done everything humanly possible, and I was simply incapable of being aroused.”
Cole snorted in disbelief. “And Posh Barbie is more his speed?”
The fact that Cole remembered and repeated his nickname for Annabel made me smile. “Apparently so. From what I gathered from comments that were made, she likes to be in charge in the bedroom, and I guess that works for him. We never really tried that.”
The expression on Cole's face morphed into a sly smile, his eyes taking on the hard, commanding edge that made me weak. “Of course you didn't, and it wouldn't have worked for you even if you did. That's not what you need, Gemma.”
The certainty in his voice, the complete conviction that he knewexactlywhat I needed, set off tingles through my whole body.
As quickly as it had come on, his dominating side fell away. “I appreciate you telling me all this. But for right now, all we really need to decide is how you want to approach tonight.”
“Tonight?” To my embarrassment, my voice squeaked on the word, my heart still racing from the reaction he’d just caused in me.
Thankfully, Cole pretended he hadn't noticed it. “With the paparazzi, I mean. They didn't get a good shot last night so I imagine they'll try again. And since Idointend to go out with you tonight and bring you back to my room, we just need to decide how you want to play it.”
As covertly as possible, I let out a sigh of relief at the news that he still wanted to spend the night with me. Although I really appreciated his support and the idea of having him as a friend, that definitely wasn't all I wanted from him. “What are our options?”
“I think we have two main ones. First, we could try to keep things secret. I have access to all the entrances of the Lytton so we don't need to use the main doors. I could hire security to keep the press away when we go out. Or, the second option is that we can act like we don't care and allow the photographs to be taken. The tabloids only really care about this because they think it's a secret, so we make them think there's nothing there, or we're open enough that it's no secret. Either way, they'll lose interest.”
His certainty and confidence was incredibly appealing. “If we went with the open option, people would assume we're in an actual relationship,” I pointed out. “That doesn't bother you?”
He gave me what I was quickly starting to think of as his trademark smirk. “There are worse things in the world than people thinking I'm dating a beautiful woman. As long as you and I are clear what the situation is, I don't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.”
After so many months of being crushed by everyone else's judgement, the idea of parading around town on Cole's arm and having everyone think I’d landed myself a much bigger catch than Edwin had ever been sounded more than a little tempting. “In that case, I think I'd prefer to do that. I'm tired of being ashamed.”
Cole's eyes flashed dangerously. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Gemma. You're a smart, successful woman who just happened to waste your time on a man who didn't match your needs and didn’t deserve you.”
