Page 24 of Frost Bitten
After a brief, thoughtful moment, Bast speaks up. “Have you heard of Kintsugi?”
“Um, I don’t think so?” I reply.
“You may have and not realize it,” he explains. “It’s the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with a kind of glue tinted with gold or another precious metal. Do you know why they do that?”
“Oh… I’ve seen that, yeah, but no, I don’t know why.”
“The Japanese feel that damage or wear is part of the story. They believe in it so much that they treat the breakages as art in life. They don’t throw away the damaged object when it can be repaired stronger, and the gold in the lacquer they use adds value. They don’t want to disguise the damage; instead, they flaunt the strength the repaired object has. It is a new piece, made stronger because someone made the effort to repair it.
“Angel, you are a work of art. You are beautiful, kind, talented, and strong. This break you’ve experienced is not the end of your story. You are worth the effort; I’m just here to help you see that. I’m here to show you that you are valuable and something to be cherished. Cait, this is but a crack in your armor that we will help you fill in with gold.”
“You will be stronger after this. Whatever has happened in your life, it doesn’t affect your value. In fact, I’m thankful for your past and everything that has led up to this point. I may not have the chance to claim you as my girlfriend if your life didn’t end up the way it did. Without everything, you and I wouldn’t be here, at this moment. I’m just too thankful that you are such a masterpiece to give a damn about whatever supposed damage you have.”
I’m speechless; I just don’t know what to say to that. My head sags, and my eyes can only focus on my hands in my lap. I know people love me; Mom and Lily are there, and I know they care. But never has anyone put my value into such context. I’ve never heard him speak so eloquently, let alone about me.
I’m in such a state of confusion, I don’t notice when Bast moves. He reaches over, grabs me by the waist, and pulls me to straddle him. My gasp must be loud enough, because as my arms reach out to brace myself on his chest, his hand reaches up softly to cup my jaw.
“Angel, none of what happened is going to turn me off of you. I want you, more than you know. Maybe even more than I know.”
When I look up, his dark cerulean eyes bore into mine, and I feel like he’s trying to communicate something urgent with me.
“Do you understand that? That Corey and I both want you? Youaredesired. Youareimportant. Youareprecious.” And with those sweet words, I lean in to kiss him. I make the move this time, completely overwhelmed with emotion. The warm and soft kiss of appreciation quickly leads me to become fervent, needy. The fact that this hot athlete, in the prime of his life, wantsme. I wrap my arms around his neck as I sweep my tongue over the seam of his supple lips, begging to allow me access and satisfy this need.
But when he grips my arms and holds me back, I pause and pull my face back enough to see the grimace on his.
“What? What’s wrong?” I ask nervously.
“I need to stop, Angel. I respect you too much to take things too far just yet, and, um, I’m beginning to like where this is going just a bit too much. Can we get back on with our date, so I can calm down a little? Otherwise, I might just drive to my house, and take things a little too far.”
My eyes bulge at his admission, and then quickly flick down to where I’m sitting on his lap before returning to his eyes.Shit, oops.
“I’m so sorry, Bast. I wasn’t trying to go so fast. My mind is a messed up place lately,” I state, pleading for forgiveness as I wiggle to try to sit back in my own seat.
This time, when he adjusts his hard cock that’s tenting his thick jeans, he doesn’t try to hide it. A deep breath escapes his lungs before he reassures me.
“It’s ok. I know and accept that I’ll likely be in these situations more often than not in the near future, and I’m ok with that. We’ll go at your pace. But, I want you to understand that while I can be patient, I may not be the most pleasant in these situations. I’ll try my best., but if I get a little too ‘much’, please let me know.”
I smile at his earnestness to protect me. “I totally understand. Thank you.”
“Now,” he says, clearing his throat. “I think we should get on with dinner. Do you like sushi?”
THIRTEEN
CAIT
These past few days flew by. My date with Bast went so amazingly, it was like a dream. When he dropped me off that night, he walked me to the door, and the kiss he gave me left me with tingles that lasted well beyond my shower. I thought cooling off would help, but I ended up needing to handle things myself. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I could claim both sexy men as mine.
I’m still struggling with all of the stress of Jason tracking me down while trying to balance progressing forward with dating the guys. They know about Jason’s deadline, I think, and I’ll have to secretly leave and go to him. I can’t risk Mom and Lily being harmed. I’d rather give up and let him have me than risk them, but this slow wait for the weeks to pass as I figure out an excuse for them not to miss me will drive me nuts. I’m hoping the cops catch him before I have to do that, though.
Tuesday dawns with class for me, so back to campus I go. I meet Ash again, but this time right outside our classroom. Only a few weeks are left before finals, so I buckle down and try to take good notes. The professor for our Business Ethics class likes to get philosophical, and that tends to skew my notes, as I’m not sure what is actual material, and what he’s randomly talking about. I take notes on it all, deciding to compare the syllabus later.
Once class is over, Ash and I walk out of the lecture hall and head over to the library. As we walk, I explain my worry.
“I just don’t know, Ash. I feel like I’m going to end up failing. I just think that with everything going on, I haven’t been able to focus. Even now that things are settling down, I feel way behind.”
“We can get you caught up,” he reassures me. “I have notes, the syllabus, and our books. Let’s start meeting each Thursday, except for Thanksgiving – I’ll be traveling home for that week.”
He’s right. I can’t just give up. We set up a schedule, including what information we’ll cover, so I’m prepared. We start immediately on the first few weeks, recapping things we covered already. I am pleasantly surprised with how comfortable I am with this information, but this is all the classwork from the beginning of the year when I didn’t realize I had a possessive stalker.
