Page 58 of Frost Bitten
“I love it. I’ll never tell your secret, but I will be spending my hours at Lift trying to recreate this,” I chuckle. “Lori will never know.”
His laugh softens, as do his eyes. He reaches up, swiping a thumb across the corner of my mouth, before bringing it to his own lips. When he tastes what I assume was an errant smudge of cocoa on my mouth, his eyes close and a groan rumbles from his chest.
His eyes pop open, bright and hot like blue flames, and he softly grips my cheek. “Baby Girl, I’ve waited as long as I can, but I need to taste you. I’ve been restraining myself for far too long. I just can’t hold back anymore.”
His passionate words spur me on, and I reach out, grabbing his neck and pulling him down to meet my lips. Chocolate and sin, the mixed flavors swirl on my tongue as his own invades my mouth. He dominates the kiss, telling me with each caress of his lips that he is all in. This man drives me wild with a fever that begins in my belly and explodes from my core.
When he gently nibbles on my lower lip, a soft sigh escapes me. I pull back and stare into his eyes. Dom’s hand reaches to cup my jaw, thumb brushing against my cheek.
“Baby Girl,” he says, voice low with discretion. “I know I told you that I’ve been discovering some things about myself. I feel like I need to slow down here, explain what I’ve learned, and then take you home, so you have time to think about it all.” I stare, brows furrowed, unsure of what he’s about to tell me, but I stay quiet and ready to hear whatever he has to say.
“Cait, I’ve recently realized that I like being in control, similar to Bast. I’ve actually known some of the things for a while, but since this is all coming to light, and I’m learning things I didn’t know about everyone, I’m coming up with answers to questions I’d had about myself. I’m not entirely the same, as far as dominance goes, though. From the research I’ve done, I think I’m more of a soft Dominant, or maybe even a Pleasure Dominant. I don’t care about the day-to-day activities, or exactly which activities we enjoy during sex, specifically. But, thinking about what I’ve liked in the past, making sure my partners are taken care of both inside and outside the bedroom leads me to believe I have more… caring and compassionate characteristics than most Dominants.”
“As far as ‘Pleasure Dominant’, I’ve been fantasizing recently about using orgasms as both rewards and punishments. Obviously, making sure my partner is pleased is part of that ‘inside the bedroom’ part of caring, but things can get difficult after that. I have looked into edging to build intensity, and I’vereallylooked into bondage and forced orgasms. Thinking of someone, potentially you, submitting to allow me to work your body over and over as a reprimand for an action has me so fucking hard. I’m so ready for you, but I want you to have time to make sure you are ok with that. Given what you’ve been through, I obviously won’t go hardcore right away, but I want you to know what you’re getting into with me if you choose to move forward.”
I blink a few times, caught in the mental images he described. I know this man would never hurt me, but I appreciate his foresight to properly communicate his wants and needs. He stands, holds out his hand, and we collect our hot cocoas for our walk back to his car.
Once he’s opened the door for me and taken his own seat behind the wheel, he turns slightly to look at me. “Did I overwhelm you?” The worry in his voice is comforting, showing me he truly does care for me with everything I’ve been through.
“No, that’s not it. That’s not why I’m quiet,” I mumble. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for that. Tell you what, give me till our shopping trip tomorrow? I just need time to think about all the punishments and bondage stuff.” I don’t tell him that Bast punished me the other night, but this is a little more intense, and I need to focus on my thoughts without him waiting for an answer. My other problem is, I don’t know how much time I’ll have with him, and if I’ll be ok if we start this before I have to leave.
“I’ll take it,” he says with a small smile.
TWENTY-FIVE
CAMERON
Fucking hell.
Why am I nervous?
Dom said he opened up to Star on Sunday, and they talked about “things.” He wouldn’t elaborate, but he did say when he saw her Monday, she seemed ok with whatever they talked about. He is confident things are moving forward, and he wants to ask her to stay with him overnight one night after Christmas, once all the crazy holiday stress passes.
And that’s great for him. I’m glad that he’s able to slide into whatever poly group is going on. But where does that leave me? I’ve thought about this all week. Stewed over it. Over the last few weeks, I have been getting to know Star. I’m getting more and more confident that Corey was right – that she’s perfect for all of us, but I’m so nervous. I’m afraid to push her before she’s ready to fully forgive me. She said this week that she has forgiven me, but does that mean she trusts me? That she’d be willing to date me if I asked her? Would I get time with her all by myself?
That’s what I’ll be finding out tonight. I called Star yesterday, asking if she had any plans for Christmas Eve night. We all decided we’d meet at Bast’s house for lunch and to exchange gifts after spending time with our families. Dad and I don’t do too much for Christmas, but we will exchange gifts over breakfast and talk about our New Year's plans.
Star said she wouldn’t have plans after Lily went to bed. She helps her mom set up Lily’s gifts after they know she’s asleep because even though they don’t buy a lot, it somehow overtakes the tree year after year. So here I am, ten thirty-two at night, sitting in my Cayenne outside her apartment, waiting for her to be done.
I told her I’d like to take her on a tour of the holiday displays in the nicer neighborhoods, just to give her a taste of how extravagant Golden likes to get during Christmas. I figure once I drive her around the pretty lights, I’ll take her up to the lookout point right outside of town, and park and overlook the city. We don’t exactly have mountains here, but there are some bigger hills, and I know a spot that is right off the highway that allows the city lights to sparkle like a lighted Christmas blanket.
When she comes jogging down the stairs a few minutes later, my mouth runs dry. I step out, determined to make a good impression tonight. I meet her halfway to the building and give her a quick hug.
“How was Christmas Eve with Lily?” I ask, a small smirk pulling at the corners of my mouth.
“She was excited, of course,” she laughs softly. “She doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, but still. The idea of presents is just too much for a kid.” Her smile slowly fades, and her eyes turn down, and she’s beginning to worry me. I’m about to ask her if anything is wrong, but then I decide against drawing attention to anything negative. Positive thoughts only, because I’m wishing on my Star for good luck.
“Yeah, I can see that,” I reply. “Well, let’s get started. I wanted to give you the best Christmas present, but honestly, nothing can beat this. I have a gift for you to open tomorrow, too, but I wanted to share this with only you. Every year, I do this, and I can’t think of anything better to show you just how important you are.”
I turn, offering her my hand and leading her back to my waiting car. I left it running, so the heat would stay warm. Once I get her settled, I shut her door and run around to my door. Quickly, I hop in and buckle my seatbelt.
As I drive around, I talk about the various neighborhoods and the different traditions they all have. One specifically does these light hoops over the streets so you drive through a tunnel of lights. Another does only white lights in the entire neighborhood, weather string lights, or lawn decorations. I finally took her to one that I thought Lily would like the best – the neighborhood has a competition for the biggest and the best lawn inflatable decorations.
Star giggled at all the goofy decorations, and I couldn’t help but smile at her melodic laugh. By the time we made it through that neighborhood, she’d pinned the location on her phone navigation so she could bring Lily back this week.
As we drive further out of town, the car grows silent. Instead of starting to cut open my heart with my guilt-laden driving, I decide to turn on Christmas music. It can help me stall these last twenty minutes. Star seems to notice I’m a little nervous, though, because she turns to smile at me, placing her left hand over my right one resting on the gearshift in between us. I’m so glad the darkness of the night is slowly overtaking the brightness of the city. I need to try to tune out the nervousness with the little time I have left.
It’s not long before I take the exit for the overlook I’m planning on. It sneaks up on you, driving through the woods until I see the little reflective tag I placed there three years ago to mark the spot. Slowing down, I turn right down the little dirt road, and the next thing we know, I’m parking over a cliff.
