Page 67 of Dance Butterfly Dance
“The caterpillar was actually the Butterfly all along. Take off your mask and show me your wings, baby, 'cause I’m going to pluck…them…off.”
I gape at him, unable to form words, and then do the only thing a butterfly can do when danger is near, I spin and fly away. I race across the catwalk as fast as I can in my stilettos on my way to the dressing room. I can’t stop myself from glancing back once and what I see has me jarring to a stop as I clutch the safety railing. Ash is hauling my sister up to her feet and then dragging her toward the stairs to the exit.
No, no, no, no! Bad enough he found out this way about the Butterfly, I can’t let them all find out my biggest secret from Vanessa. It needs to be me. I have to be the one to tell them! I slam into the dressing room, rip off my mask and wings and throw them at the makeup counter. No time to change, I need to beat them home before she starts spinning her carnage all over my life. I yank my jacket and purse from my locker leaving everything else and run to the back exit and slam through the door to the parking garage and stagger to a stop.
There’s no fucking line of Ubers waiting for me. Of course, there isn’t! It’s still two hours from closing time. There’s no reason for the cars to be here yet. I screech out my frustration and it echoes back at me as I scramble for my phone and order a car. The closest one is eight minutes out. I consider running around to the front of the club where I know there will be a line of cabs waiting but by the time I do that the closest Uber will be almost here so I just order it and pace. My heels ring out against the concrete and the echo seems amplified as I slowly lose my mind with anxiety and fear.
I was going to fucking tell them! I had already decided that I was going to do it tomorrow before the guys left for their game. I try and shove my hand into my hair but synthetic strands cling to my fingers so I rip the wig off and toss it down and then pull all the pins from my hair to set it free. I feel like I’m going to puke the stress is so all-consuming. Instead, I scream out, “Fuck!” and it bounces back at me mockingly.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to care about them this much. Walls. I had fucking walls for a reason!
That’s when I realize that I lived behind my masks every damn day, in and out of the club. Not just because I was afraid to be the woman I thought I wanted to be but also because I’ve been terrified of having someone see me. Scared of someone loving me and then having that snatched away. Every person who ever loved me has left me. I made sure I was alone, broken, scared to live life so it can never happen again. And now it is going to happen again. They’re going to hate me for lying to them, for all the secrets I’ve kept hidden and they are going to leave me too.
By the time the car shows up, I’m a mess but also resigned. This is my life. I don’t know why I ever thought it could be different. I ignore the driver’s attempts to chat with me until he gives up and I just focus on the snow that’s started to fall as we turn onto my…their street. I ask the driver to wait, knowing they won’t want me here for long.
The front door is wide open, almost as if Ash couldn’t wait to get to the others to tell them what a fucking liar I am. I walk straight back to the kitchen, not bothering to remove my jacket or stilettos. They’re all there lined up with their arms crossed as my sister lays out all my secrets with her back to me.
“…could buy and sell each one of you. Her name is literally on the stadium you play football in! She’s been making fools out of all of you this whole time!”
Jude spots me first and his arms drop as he cocks his head at me. There’s a faint look of hurt in his eyes but it’s not the fury I see still raging in Ash’s so maybe all isn’t lost. That thought blows away like the snowflakes falling outside when Vanessa spins around and sees me. She takes in my outfit with wide eyes and starts laughing maliciously.
“There you are, sister! I was just letting your fuck boys in on your little scam. I thought it was only fair to tell them that you’re an heiress to billions and that you’ve been playing them all along.”
I try and shake my head as my mouth opens to deny that but she turns back to them and plows on with her lies.
“She’s not who she pretends to be! It’s all a game to her. Savy acts like this lonely little nerd to suck guys in so she can play her sick twisted games with them. She’s done this before with other guys. She even managed to convince Hunter that she was a virgin! She’s a slutty whore who will fuck anyone to satisfy her sick mind.”
“No! I’ve never…”
“She’s an embarrassment to our family. She has mental issues. That’s why we make her use her mother’s maiden name. There were even rumors that she had something to do with her dad’s accident!”
I suck in a shocked breath that she would stoop so low, hate me so much to say such a horrific lie.
“No, no, no, none of that…” I whisper.
“She’s a fucking fake! Everything about my sister is a fake and you are all fools for falling for it!” Vanessa screeches over me and that breaks Ash’s control. He roars and takes a menacing step toward me.
“Yes, she is! You are a fucking fake. Two fucking years you’ve been conning me! Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.”
I shake my head violently and tear my gaze from his to look to Tate but he’s just shaking his head with a look of disgust. Beck stares back at me with dead flat eyes like he’s daring me to try and deny what she’s saying but it’s Jude that rips what’s left of my heart from my chest.
He narrows his eyes at me with a dangerous look, cocks his head and says, “You been playing me, doll?”
And with his loss of faith in me, a switch flips and I go blank. The pain drains away, the shakes go away and all the feelings - the love I felt for them, because I did… I’ll admit it now… I loved them, disappears. My hands that I was holding up, as if I could stop this somehow, drop to my sides, and with one last look at each one of them I turn and walk to the door. Vanessa laughs loudly and then gets in her final shot to my back.
“Oh, Savanah, I almost forgot…Happy Fucking Birthday!”
That almost breaks me. This day…this goddam day. This day that I refuse to acknowledge. This day that I try and ignore every year. This is the day my mother died. This is the day my father died as I huddled my small body next to him in the cold. I stumble in my heels but press a hand to the wall to keep myself upright, sliding against it the rest of the way until I make it out the front door. The yelling and fighting happening behind me dims even as I hear Jude screaming my name but I keep going down the walk to the car waiting for me. Snowflakes land on my pale face and melt, trickling down my cheeks like the tears I refuse to let fall.
It's not until the car drops me back off at the underground parking garage at the club that I finally break. I drop to my knees on the unforgiving concrete as the storm of pain, anguish, and betrayal whirls around me, battering me, breaking me into pieces. When I can’t take one second more, I open myself up to it all, suck it down and let it reform me.
Broken pieces fit together as something else, something new - and when I open my eyes…I am the storm. They want to believe Vanessa? Believe that I’m a fake, that I conned them, that I’m a player? She wants to play with me, fuck with me?
I stand up straight and square my shoulders and sniff back the tears. Okay, I can do that, I can play. I’ve been dancing to their tune long enough. Now it’s their turn to dance, to burn, to mine. I’ll wear a new mask for the world and this time no one will ever tear it off of me.
I swipe open my phone and tap to connect the call.
“Uncle Mark? I’m ready…ready to sign the papers. I’m twenty-one today and I’ve put it off long enough. Send the jet, please. I’ll come to New York.”
To be continued in Burn Butterfly Burn
