Page 18 of A Vampire's Pain
Chapter 8
-Valeri-
We walked into the quiet and dark house. Damon didn’t say anything the whole way there, and I didn’t like the tense energy around him. He felt almost scary, even though I knew he would never try to harm me. I just didn’t like this side of him. It made me shrink almost.
“What were you thinking?” I heard him whisper behind me.
I looked at the ground in front of me, not sure what to say. It was clear he would never understand, and how could he? He had never been through what I had been through. He had never known what it felt like to lose yourself and forget how strong you really were. I just wanted to find that strength again. I just wanted to be me again, or at least be someone who was able to leave the house without having a damn panic attack.
“You wouldn’t get it …” I whispered.
“You’re right!”
I turned around and saw just how scared my brother looked. His dark hair which had looked nice and combed back earlier tonight was now sticking to every side since he had run his hand through it over and over on the way over here.
“I don’t get it.”
“I just wanted to …”
“To what? Get taken again? Wanted me to go look for you and find you …”
He couldn’t finish the sentence, but I knew what he wanted to say. My brother hadn’t just avenged me, he had found me together with some trackers my father had hired. They were like PI for vampires and werewolves. Paid to find people. Back then my brother hadn’t been much of a fighter, but that changed when he worked together with the king to defend my honor … Sadly, that honor had been ruined before he found me. My father knew that, and he never truly looked at me the same again. It was different with Damon. To him, I had not changed, but he had also become so damn overprotective, that I forgot how to breathe if he didn’t tell me how. I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I wanted to be … more.
“I didn’t … I wanted to …”
“What?” he asked and walked closer, looking like he really tried to understand my side of things, but he was failing.
“Be … better!”
“What?”
“I want to be … better.”
“Valeri, what the hell does that mean?” he asked. “You are better.”
“Maybe from where I started but it is not enough!”
He looked at me confused, and I hated that he didn’t get what I was trying to tell him. So, I started to walk away, back to the room that was pretty much just our own little bar, and poured myself a strong drink. It burned all the way down, but I needed it right now.
“When did you start drinking?” Damon asked and watched me like he would a stranger.
I sighed and looked at him.
“You aren’t home a lot,” I told him, and I saw the pain in his eyes.
“I’m a council member now.”
“You don’t think I know that?” I asked. “But what am I?”
“What?”
“What am I?”
He looked more and more confused, and I could understand why. My own feelings and thoughts were confusing, and I had no idea what I was even really trying to say. I just knew that tonight I had felt more alive than I had in … in two hundred years. I wanted more of that. I wanted that feeling again, and I was not finding it in this house.
“You’re … my sister,” he said.
“Is that all?”
