Page 112 of A Vampire's Pain
“I am not sure, even if I had years, I could make a decision … I fear it might cost me everything.”
I looked at the doctor again, and she looked at me almost a little sad.
“A situation like this is never easy,” she said. “And you stand with some hard choices in front of you. Take your time to absorb this for now.”
I nodded.
“And if you have someone to talk to, I think you should.”
“Talk to?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Like a friend or a family member.”
It was not that I didn’t understand what she meant; it was just I didn’t really feel like I had anyone to talk to. I couldn’t talk to my brother or Gabriel, and Lara was very close with Gabriel, I feared she might tell him.
“I … I don’t have anyone,” I said.
The doctor looked at me with sympathy.
“At all?”
I shook my head.
“I see …”
“I don’t know what to do,” I told her.
She sighed a little and placed her hand on my knee. I welcomed the touch because I felt so cold right now and so scared.
“Go home and rest a little, and when you feel a little stronger, you can start thinking about what you want to do. You are not forced to have this baby if you do not want to. You have got a choice. A child is a big responsibility, and if you do not feel like you can do it, then you shouldn’t.”
I nodded. She was right. A child deserved a parent who could be there for them and love them … Could I be? Was I strong enough to raise a child in this world? I wasn’t sure I could handle it mentally. After all the horrible things that had happened to me, being kidnapped, raped, and abused in so many ways, I just didn’t know if I could do it. I had only just gotten back to “normal”, and I feared a setback could appear at any time … Maybe I shouldn’t be a parent, but this child also came from love. Gabriel’s and my love …
I placed my hand on my stomach. Could I really get rid of it?
Chapter 45
-Valeri-
I was lying in my bed, not sleeping, but just staring out into the air. I had been lying in bed for two days now, unable to get up, because every time I tried, it felt like something was pulling me down again. My body felt ten times heavier, and it didn’t help that I couldn’t really eat either. Dina had tried bringing me food, but I had sent her away every time, telling her I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t really. I felt sick and worried, and that certainly didn’t help give me an appetite.
I still didn’t know what to do or whom to talk to. I wanted advice. I wanted help, but how the hell was I going to get it, when I knew the news would just find its way back to my brother? He would destroy everything if he found out, and for some crazy reason … I also wanted him to know. I needed my brother and his help. It would be so much easier if he just knew. Maybe I should tell him. Maybe I should just rip the band-aid off and see how badly the wound would bleed.
It didn’t sound like such a good plan, but what could I really do? My brother would figure it out at some point. He knew me too well, and when he noticed I wasn’t eating at all, he would ask why.
“Oh, Goddess … Why me?” I whispered and buried my head in my pillow.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and I quickly sat up, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Wh-Who is it?” I asked.
“Are you expecting someone?” Damon jokingly asked.
“Damon?”
“Who else?”
