Page 32 of A Vampire's Pain
I looked down in shame, hating to be reminded of how badly it had gotten. How badly my breakdown had been. He was not wrong. It hadn’t been that long since I had finally been able to take care of myself and didn’t need more help. I still went to therapy of course, that I was never stopping, but I didn’t need help getting out of bed. I could do that now myself.
“I know, but I can do all of that now,” I said.
“Valeri, you might not be able to.”
“What?” I asked confused.
“It can take so little to set someone like you back,” he said. “All it takes is a small reminder, and I don’t blame you, of course, I just want you to understand that a lot of things can set you back, and then you will be right where you started.”
“So, I should not live at all?” I asked.
Damon shook his head.
“Of course not,” he said.
“Then what are you trying to say?”
“I’m only trying to say that you don’t need to go out there and … relearn about the world. You can be safe. Right here,” he said.
“And what if I want to?” I asked.
“What?”
“Relearn about the world. Learn what it means to be out there again. What if that is exactly what I want?” I asked.
Damon looked so sad again, and I hated the look on his face. I knew what I had gone through, but the truth was I had no idea what Damon had gone through. He had lost me, got me back, but not really gotten me back. He had watched me lose my mind, and then finally I changed, but it had taken so much time and energy from him, I didn’t blame him for being overprotective, but I couldn’t live like this either. It was too much. Too suffocating.
“Val …”
“One day,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Give me one day where I can do what I want and go where I want and just … let me out. Just one day.”
“No!” he said.
“Please, Damon!” I said. “Just give me one day of freedom and we will see how it goes. Please!”
I pressed my hands together and used my best puppy eyes, hoping it would convince him. It often had. He already looked hesitant, and I knew it was working.
“Val,” he said, not sounding very happy, but it was clear he was giving in. “I …”
“Please!” I said again before he could say no.
“Why are you doing this to me?” he sighed.
I looked at him almost hopeful because it sounded like he had given in.
“Fine!”
“Yes!”
“But I have rules,” he quickly said, and I lowered my hands, making sure he could see he had all my attention. “You can’t just go anywhere you please. There are dangerous parts of this city and this world. I want you to go with a bodyguard.”
“Damon, no! That is not freedom!” I said. “That is being watched.”
“I can’t just let you go out there without protection!”
