Page 4 of Time Served in New York
Boss nodded. “I’ll loan you a pair of cuffs.”
“I can call and make sure the fridge is stocked at our place there. Not a problem,” I assured him.
Santa just shook his head as he stared forlornly at his beer. “This whole thing has snowballed into the wedding of the century, you guys. I can’t stop it now.”
“That clinches it,” Preacher said. “I knew you hated us, you heartless, hairy bastard.”
2.
BLUE
“Why do I need a coat? Are we going hiking or something?”
“Blue, you’re gonna be the death of me, I swear to God. How do you not own a winter coat?” Paula asked.
“When it gets cold here, we stay inside until it goes away. If I have to go out, it’s a 10-second walk from the door to my truck. It takes longer than that for frostbite to set in.”
“I’ve never owned a coat,” Brea chimed in. “I want to find a really soft scarf with matching gloves.”
Matalie perked up and said, “Neither have I. Oh! I want one of those long wool coats. Maybe a red one. With a houndstooth scarf and a furry black hat!”
I stared at Matalie like she’d lost her mind and asked, “Are you going to get a job standing outside the palace protecting the queen?”
“Why don’t you get a red one too? You can get a job working at kids’ birthday parties as Clifford with your Amazonian ass.”
“I don’t think I like you anymore. You were much nicer when we first met,” I grumbled as I turned on my blinker to change lanes. “I’m not sure what happened.”
“You! All of you happened! I was a really sweet girl when I moved to Tenillo. The other day, I almost ran over a woman with my grocery cart because she was walking too slow down the frozen aisle.”
“I mean, I’m a nice person, but I plot people’s death when they go slow in the left lane,” Jenn confessed.
“That’s perfectly normal,” Brea said, and I heard the other women in the SUV agree. “Everyone does those things whether they want to admit it or not.”
“Frankie, I just want you to know that you’re testing the limits of our friendship in a big way,” I told my friend as I glanced up at her reflection in the rearview mirror. “In two days, you’ll have me in a metropolis with people . . . Ugh . . . Millions of people . . . all over the place. And not only are you going to make me go shopping in that big ass city and then wear a damn dress and heels for hours, but I also have to shoptodayand buy a fucking coat that I’m gonna wear for a week and then put in the back of my closet.”
“Do you do anything without bitching about it for three weeks first? Anything? Ever?” Frankie stared at my reflection, daring me with an eyebrow raised. “I bet fifty dollars that you can’t come up with a single thing.”
“I don’t bitch when Jude tells me to get naked because I like doing that,” I said saucily. “Pay up, ho.”
“Turn left at the light, Blue,” Maylee said from the very back row of seats.
“I thought we were going to the mall.”
“We are, just . . . not a regular kind of mall,” Maylee said cryptically.
I glared at her and then Frankie in the mirror. “What other kind of mall is there?”
“Let’s just consider today’s shopping adventure a test run for our trip,” Frankie suggested.
“Why do we have to go to a fancy ass store for a fucking coat?” I asked.
“I’ve never actually seen a coat in a store around here,” Brea mused. “Where could we even be going that would have one?”
“There’s that ski shop at the mall. I bet they have them,” Pandora suggested.
“Oh hell no,” I whined after Maylee directed me to turn into the parking lot of a strip mall. “This is in the fancy neighborhood. Why do I suddenly feel like Julia Roberts?”
“Because you’re a ho,” Brea teased.
