Page 32 of Time Served in New York
All of them - Boss, Hook, Chef, Preacher, Captain, Santa, Kitty, Rodeo, Stamp, Hammer, Soda, and, of course, Enzo were standing in a group that included Paula’s son, Stamp’s sons, Frankie’s brothers, and several Ares Infidels. Each of them had a pocketknife in one hand and a beer in the other.
The men from New York were listening raptly to Hook’s explanation and then watched as he demonstrated. Paula had walked up behind me at some point, and when Hook opened his mouth and thumped his chest, she sighed. “Look at my sweetheart, out there on the golf course at one of the most exclusive country clubs in the state, teaching my sweet child how to binge drink like a frat boy.”
The rest of the men followed Hook’s instructions, and even though a few of them weren’t quite deft at the process, they all managed to getmostof the beer in their mouth.
“It doesn’t seem like that was Zachary’s first attempt,” I mused when Paula’s son finished a split second before the rest of the men and held his empty can up with a laugh.
“He’s an angel and a quick learner,” Paula tried to bluff. Finally, she couldn’t hold it in anymore and laughed as she said, “He won, though, so there’s that!”
“Does anyone else find it strange that we’re about to get massages and spa services in a room full of windows?” Brea asked.
Frankie, who had already changed into a plush robe the club supplied, walked over and sat between me and Blue before she answered, “I had them arrange it like this intentionally. With the way the building sits and how the ground slopes, we can see almost the entire course.”
“So we get to watch golf? Yay,” Paula said sarcastically.
“No, we get to watchthemgolf,” Frankie said with laughter in her voice. “Bernadette arranged for each man to get a gift from Christopher just for today’s event.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“They each got a monogrammed flask full of 18-year-old Scotch that’s going to help keep them warm,” Frankie explained.
“That’s nice,” Jenn said as she walked up and joined us. “Oh look! They’re going to make a toast.”
The men held their flasks in front of them as Santa started speaking. Their faces were serious at first, but as he talked, they started smiling. Finally, they raised their flasks and took a drink.
We all laughed at the reaction of almost every man as the whisky burn took over and their faces morphed. A few of the men coughed, and I could tell that most of them were gasping for air.
“Not big Scotch fans, huh?” Jenn asked.
Frankie laughed. “Well, it’s 80 proof, so that first sip was probably a little rough.”
Paula giggled and then in a fake announcer's voice said, “And today’s golf game is sponsored by really strong whisky with influences from the moviesCaddyshackandHappy Gilmore.”
Frankie sighed and smiled before she said, “This is going to be awesome.”
“Did your brothers have any idea what they were in for when they agreed to this?” I asked. “They’re going to end up losing their membership by the time they’re finished today.”
Frankie patted my knee and shook her head. “No, they won’t. They own this place, so the boys will be just fine cutting loose out there.”
As the guys separated and got into carts, we watched other men we didn’t recognize split up and follow along. “Some of those are caddies, but who are . . .” I noticed the video camera in one of the men’s hands and gasped, “Are those men from the press?”
“No,” Frankie giggled. “They’re videographers I hired to document the day.”
“Oh shit,” Paula said as we all started laughing. “That’s so great.”
“Proof or it didn’t happen,” Jenn said through her laughter.
“I thought it would be fun to have some champagne and get pampered in this beautiful room while we watch the shitshow that’s about to commence on the golf course.”
“Frankie, my friend, you’re a diabolical genius.”
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PANDORA
“What are they doing now?” I heard Frankie’s muffled voice ask from the massage table behind us. She was facedown with a sheet covering her ass as the masseuse rubbed her legs. “Why am I even asking? I don’t care.”
“Boss is driving Bug, Captain is driving Hook, Stamp is driving Santa, Preacher is driving Hammer, and Marler is driving Ziggy,” I explained.
