Page 12 of Time Served in New York
“You don’t have any weapons on you, do you?” Bernadette asked.
Rather than look at me, Frankie gave Paula a pointed look and asked, “Doyou?”
“What? I didn’t say shit.”
“Paula. Weapons?”
“You’re gonna put us on a train in the middle of New York, and you think I shouldn’t go armed? Are you already drunk?”
“Especially if we’re carrying bags from all these fancy stores,” I added. “Are you trying to getusmugged?”
“We’ll have whatever we buy delivered to the hotel,” Bernadette explained.
“I saw a pair of red-soled slingbacks online that I have to have,” Maylee announced. “I bet they have them at Berg’s.”
“The ones you sent me that pic of that cost almost a grand?” Matalie gasped. “You were fucking serious?”
“They’d be the perfect shoes to wear to the wedding,” Maylee argued. “I showed Frankie, and she agreed.”
“Out of all of us, you’re the craziest,” Matalie said as she shook her head. “Total fucking nutjob.”
“Wewillhave to do our shoe shopping before the dress fittings just to make sure everything is measured correctly,” Frankie said with an excited grin.
“We’re going to try on shoes?” Matalie asked, her entire demeanor changing in an instant. “Really?”
“Prozac, don’t fail me now! If someone punches you in the face, do they still have to go to your wedding? I’m asking for a friend,” I lied.
“Me! She’s asking for me,” Brea chimed in.
“If we have to do this, then why aren’t you punishing Sis and August? They’re part of the coven too! It’s not fair,” Paula wailed.
“Since they’re not in the wedding, I arranged for both couples to have a few romantic days together,” Bernadette explained.
“I need romance!” Paula shouted. “Hook and I are on the verge of separation. We should spend some quality time alone together.”
“You lying skank!” Jenn argued. “I caught the two of you banging in the elevator not two hours ago!”
“We were . . . working on our deep-seated issues.”
“Oh, something was deep. I’m just saying,” Jenn mumbled.
“The concierge told me there were complaints about you and Boss getting busy on your balcony,” Frankie said primly. “Apparently, the people in the residential building next door got quite a show last night andthen againthis morning.”
“We were exploring our love of nature,” Jenn shot back.
Matalie laughed and confessed, “We did that too.”
Frankie leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table before she put her face in her hands. “It’s like someone made a movie about the Clampetts taking over New York, and I’m right in the fucking middle of it.”
“Did you just call us hillbillies?” Jenn asked.
“They were in Beverly Hills, Frankie. Wrong television show.”
Frankie lifted her head and stared at me for a second before she said, “If you don’t stop fucking around and get on board with this bullshit, I’m going to drown every single one of you in the Hudson River and tell your men you were kidnapped by . . . Fuck! I don’t know who, but I’ll come up with something!”
“Come on!” Bernadette said as she stood up. She clapped her hands together and then started walking toward the double doors. “It’s starting to look like Frankie could use a mugger too.”
“I’m so excited!” Maylee exclaimed.
