Page 80 of Then and Now
“Looks like Layla’s not the only chatterbox,” Jackson whispers loudly, causing another wave of smothered laughter.
Jesus. Time to change the subject. I crouch down in front of my daughter and take her hands. “Listen kiddo, we’ll ask Rena our important question after we’ve all had dinner. Think you can wait that long?”
Vi ponders that for a minute in a way only a kid can. “Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty hungry. And I don’t wanna ask her when I’m hungry in case my tummy rumbles.”
“Exactly.” I kiss the top of her head. “Why don’t you go and play with the dogs some more, and I’ll get all the food off the grill so we can eat.”
“Okay, Daddy!”
She skips off, and I watch her go back to playing with Mila and Jackson’s two dogs. Maybe we should get a dog. Kids need pets.
“You’re gonna make Serena one happy lady.” Ethan hands me a fresh beer.
“That’s the plan,” I reply, taking a drink. “Seems only fair since she makes us happy every day.”
Epilogue II
Serena
“You are a natural at mothering Leo’s daughter. Not that I am surprised by that; you’ve always been a nurturing person.”
I freeze in place where I’m filling a plate with food for Violet’s dinner and swivel my head to look at Paige. “Excuse me?”
My best friend pushes her glasses up her nose. “I was observing you interacting with Violet, and I must say that over the last two years, you have truly thrived in your role as her mother figure. She is lucky to have you.”
It’s a struggle, but I think I’m successful in hiding my wince at her words. Because they hurt a little, and I don’t want anyone to know.
The truth is, my relationship with Vi is amazing. She’s a great kid, easy and open with her affection, and of course, her love of dance gives the two of us a deep bond.
But I’m not her mom. I’ve been “Rena” since day one with her, and it’s never bothered me. At least it never used to. But lately, as Leo and I talk about expanding our family some day, I’ve found myself trying to envision having a baby of my own. And despite always having it in the back of my mind as something I’d wantsomeday, I’m starting to wonder if someday will ever come. Because right now, Violet and Leo are all I want. Our little trio is perfect, and I don’t want to disrupt that.
Yet, I do want to be a mom. I want to behermom. And no one knows this, not even Leo. The last thing I want to do is put any pressure on either of them, most of all Violet. If she only sees me as her stepmother but never wants to call me Mom, that’s fine. She’s not my kid, she’s Leo’s. I’m just lucky enough to be a part of her life.
Paige is still looking at me, and her scrutiny is making me uncomfortable. She’s way too insightful of a best friend sometimes.
“I’m lucky to have her,” I say quickly to fill the space. Paige arches one brow at me and nods slowly.
“Right. So. I’m just gonna get this food to her.” I hurry away from her, quickly finding Violet with Layla, where they’re both loving up on Mila and Jackson’s two dogs. Once I’ve dropped off her food, I duck inside the house and head to mine and Leo’s bedroom to give myself a minute.
Two years of being with Leo and Violet, and I have loved every second. The bedtime snuggles, the rainy-day dance parties, the first day of kindergarten. It’s been an amazing experience.
And even though her biological mother is completely out of the picture for good, I would still never want to make any assumptions about my role in Vi’s life.
“Baby? You okay?”
I lift my head off the bed slightly as my perfect, amazing, sexy man comes into the room.
“Yeah, just needed a minute.”
He sits down beside me, his hand finding my bare leg and stroking it gently. “So then, the truth is, you’re not okay? Because it’s not like you to need a minute when we’re in the middle of a party with all of our friends.”
For the briefest of seconds I consider telling him what has me feeling off. But of course I don’t.
“I guess I’m just tired,” I say, rolling onto my side. “Probably because of a certain hot cop who likes to keep me up way too late.”
Leo rolls us both over so that he’s on his back and I’m on top of him, but then we hear the unmistakable thunder of Violet’s feet pounding up the stairs. We hastily sit up, just in time for her to run into our room.
“Daddy, I finished eating.Nowis it time?”
