Page 52 of Then and Now
But it does at least make me tired enough to fathom the idea of going to bed. And in the cover of darkness, I force myself to face the fact that Mom might be right. I do need some closure from my father.
Doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to it, however.
Chapter eighteen
Leo
LEO: Good morning babe. Miss you.
This is the third day in a row I’ve messaged Serena as soon as I wake up. And the third day in a row she hasn’t answered.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. Yesterday she sent one back, several hours later, that said good morning.
I don’t want to push her or seem desperate or clingy, but she’s pulling back, I know it. I had a sinking suspicion something like this would happen that morning Violet was sick and Serena came by with groceries and supplies for us. Her big heart wouldn’t let her stay away, but I could sense those walls were back up around her heart. I had clearly taken one step forward and two steps back.
“Rena!” Violet’s excited little voice catches me off guard. We’re out for a walk on a trail my cousins said was easy enough for me to take her on. Apparently, if you keep going, there’s some hot springs, but I don’t think we’ll make it that far. She convinced me to carry her on my shoulders pretty damn quickly. I could feel her twisting and squirming but didn’t realize it was because she saw someone behind us.
I stop and spin around carefully. Sure enough, there’s the woman who has been haunting my thoughts for even longer than the last few days coming up behind us, dressed in a tank top and some sexy little shorts. She’s breathing heavily and a gleam of perspiration covers her face. She’s the epitome of girl-next-door perfection. Except for the look of trepidation on her face that I wish I could erase. I hate knowing she’s nervous or upset about something. Even more so when she won’t let me in so I can try to fix it.
“Fancy meeting you here,” I call out, forcing a positive tone to my voice so my empathic daughter doesn’t pick up on anything.
“Hi, you two,” she answers, giving Violet a warm smile before flashing me a more cautious look. “I was just out for a run. Are you enjoying your walk?”
“I didn’t know you ran.”
Her eyes flash defiantly. “Guess you don’t quite know everything about me anymore.”
A heated moment passes between us until my daughter breaks it.
“Down, Daddy!”
I lift her off my shoulders and she makes her way right over to Serena, then lifts her arms.
“Up, Rena.”
Serena hides her smile and puts her hands on her hips. “Excuse me, missy, how do you ask nicely?”
“Up, pease.”
It’s my turn to fight back a grin. Serena’s managed to form a really amazing connection with my daughter, but that’s not a surprise to me. Watching her lift Vi up into her arms and the easy way Vi settles in also comes as no surprise. Serena might not realize it, but she’s a natural with children, and not just as a dance teacher. She’s loving and generous with her praise and affection, but not afraid to set boundaries and expectations. She’ll make a hell of a mom someday.
And yes, I want her to be that with me.
With Violet.
A vision of the three of us as a family is clear as a bell to me. Violet calling Serena ‘Mommy,’ the three of us together all the time. Having a partner in this madness known as parenthood, Violet having a mother, and me having Tippy by my side.
It’s everything I want, now and always.
And right here, right now, I decide my mission is to make Serena see that future as hers for the taking.
“Can we convince you to change your run into a walk?”
It’s not really a question; I don’t think my daughter will let Serena go now that she’s got her. But still, when she nods in agreement, I let out a mental sigh of relief. Things have been so off these past few days that I don’t think I really knew how she’d handle this.
“How far up the trail are you planning on going?”
I lift my shoulders. “As far as the little miss can handle.”
