Page 71 of Then and Now
“The studio will sell, and hopefully, I’ll stay on to teach without the cloud of debt over my head.”
“I wish Ethan and I could buy it and rent it to you, but we just don’t have the investment capital.”
I reach over and grab Mila’s hand, squeezing it gratefully. “I know you do, but really, it’s okay. This isn’t what I wanted, but it’ll be fine. I have you guys, and I have Leo and Violet. I don’t need anything else.”
“Do you want us to come with you to meet your dad?”
I rise to standing. “No, I can do this. Thanks for bringing breakfast, Mila. I’ll let you guys know how everything goes.”
One by one my friends stand, and after a round of hugs, they leave and I’m alone.
With a long, slow exhale, I let my eyes close. A memory of one of the last times I saw him comes to my mind.
I was seventeen, and it was after a dance recital. Leo came home with us for hot chocolate, which was our family tradition ever since I was small. Looking back, I’ve been able to reconcile the memory of Dad acting weird that night, not as affectionate or happy as normal, with the knowledge that he was slowly distancing himself.
The question is, which man am I meeting today — the loving father who learned how to do a perfect ballet bun or the father who disappeared to deal with his demons and never looked back?
My phone vibrates on the table in the living room.
Maybe he’s cancelling.That makes me feel like a terrible person. Why can’t I be, if not excited, at least curious about this?
LEO: You sure you want to meet him alone… I’ll fake a migraine and get out of the rest of my shift if you need me to.
My heart fills as I type out my response.
SERENA: I’m fine, honestly. I need to do this alone. Don’t know why, I just do. Besides, you already left work once for me, not sure it looks good for the new deputy chief to be shirking his responsibilities like that. But I love you for offering.
LEO: Nothing is more important to me than you right now. Certainly not my job. I’m here if you need me, no matter what. Hell even if you don’t need me you just need a hug. I’m good at hugs, or so I’ve been told by a certain three-year-old.
SERENA: You are very good at hugs, that three-year-old is a smart kiddo. I’ll text you when I’m done.
LEO: Okay, baby. I love you. You’re an amazing, strong, independent woman. Promise me that you’ll show him what he missed out on by walking away, but also hear him out.
SERENA: I promise. Now get back to your meeting, Officer Talbot. Or you’ll get in trouble.
LEO: You ARE trouble.
SERENA: Whatcha gonna do, cuff me again? *winky face emoji*
LEO: Damnit woman, now I’m sporting a chub sitting across from the provincial commissioner. You’re evil. *devil emoji*
SERENA: Love you… *heart eyes emoji*
That brief exchange with Leo was exactly what I needed to relax. But now that I’m waiting at a Starbucks in Westport for the man I used to call Dad, I’m freaking out again.
Even though he wanted to come to Dogwood Cove and see where I lived, I couldn’t handle that. Not yet, at least.
My hands twist the paper cup full of steaming chamomile tea around and around on the table as my eyes continuously dart between the door every time it opens and my phone that’s face up on the table.
I’m early. I thought it would help if I was here and settled, but it’s done the opposite and given me too much time to feel awkward and weird.
“Serena?”
My head snaps up.
“Dad.”
The chair makes a loud scraping noise as I push it back to stand. We hug. It’s awkward, stilted, and forced, but my mind still registers the fact that he smells the same, like Old Spice soap. It’s an aroma I haven’t been able to handle smelling ever since he left. I even walked out on a first date the second we met because he smelled like Old Spice.
