Page 65 of Then and Now
I wrap my arms around my stomach as reality sinks in. He might be thinking about the risk to me, but I’m thinking about the risk to my business. I won’t be able to teach in the space until, at the very least, the glass is cleaned up. Even then, how long does it take for a window to be replaced? That’s a big fucking window. Oh man, and the floor. I can just see the girls landing wrong and hitting that divot in the floor. Shit, I need the floor repaired before I can have a class. Oh God. This is going to take weeks.
“Babe. Babe?” Leo’s voice breaks through my internal freak-out and I spin to him.
“Leo, what am I going to do? I can’t afford to shut down for weeks while waiting for repairs. Oh my God, my insurance is going to take forever to come through, I don’t have the money for any of this, and I’m going to have to cancel so many classes. Shit. My mortgage payments! Oh fuck.”
“Serena, stop!”
At his almost shout, everyone in the studio freezes.
“Guys, give us the room for a few minutes.” Leo looks sharply at the other two officers in turn, and they immediately leave.
“Well, that was embarrassing,” I snap, still vibrating with overwhelm.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he barks back. His hands cover his face, then slide down to his hips. “Why are you freaking out about repairs and insurance right now? Do you not understand how serious this could have been? You could have been down here and been hit by the fucking brick. Goddamnit, Tippy, money doesn’t matter.Youdo.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Leo starts pacing in front of me, continuing his tirade.
“I can’t lose you again, Serena. Fucking hell, Violet can’t lose you. She’s lost so much already. And she loves you. We love you. Fuck, if something had happened to you.” His voice breaks and it takes all the wind out of my sails.
I wrap my arms around him from behind and press my cheek to his back. I can feel the thump, thump, thump of his heart, and I know it’s beating for me.
“I need you, Tippy. We both need you. You can’t… This… God.”
He pivots in my arms, drops to his knees, and crushes his arms around my waist, like he needs to feel me against him, to know I’m okay and I’m here with him. My hand immediately starts stroking his hair, and I’m murmuring words; I don’t even know what they are.
Leo loves me.
Violet loves me.
He’s right, money doesn’t matter nearly as much as love, family, and happiness. And I have all three of those things right in front of me.
The last piece of defensive wall that surrounded my heart crumbles to dust. Leo’s vulnerability, his honesty, his genuine love and commitment to me, it’s never been more clear to me than it is in this moment.
I sink down to my knees, fitting myself in between his.
“I’m sorry, Leo.”
He looks up, and when I see the tears tracking down his cheek, my thumb lifts to wipe them away.
“I’m sorry I scared you or made you think I didn’t appreciate the severity of what happened tonight. I do. I just got caught up in worrying about the other stuff because my brain can’t process the rest of it. They smashed a window in my studio, but they could have come up to my apartment next, and that’s terrifying. I just… I can’t go there yet.”
Leo rests his forehead on mine. “I’m sorry, too. I freaked out on you when what you need is for me to stay calm. But the thought of anything happening to you is so fucking scary. I can’t live without you. Iwon’tlive without you.”
“You don’t have to.”
I’m crying now and I know we need to get up off the floor and finish dealing with everything, and I know Leo has to go back to work, but all I want to do is stay in his arms forever.
Which is why, when he turns on his radio to speak with his coworkers, I’m flooded with relief and love for this man who knows me better than I know myself.
“Callaghan, Moritz, I’m taking Serena back to my house for the night. I’ll send someone over to help put boards up; you can stay on site until they get here. And then I’m taking off the rest of my shift.”
He doesn’t wait for their reply, just pulls out his phone and thumbs out a text. Within minutes, there’s a reply, but when I go to look at who he’s messaging, he doesn’t let me see.
“Baby, all I want you to do is go upstairs and pack a bag with a few days’ worth of clothes and whatever else you need. You’re staying with me and Vi.”
“But… ”
“No buts.” He cups my face in his hands and kisses me. “I need to hold you tonight, okay?”
