Page 95 of The Devil's Reward
It gets even worse when we get ready to eat and more and more people pile in to dish up. Most of them make a big show over trying to steal Macy’s food, laughing when she scowls at them, or in the case of Viper, tries to stab his hand with a fork. Shadow smirks and says, “That’s my girl, Macy. Keep the vultures away.”
Macy beams at him, and she just looks so happy that I could cry.
I finish my food quickly, and I know I need to get out of here before I lose it and do something crazy like declare my love for this man out loud. I need to think. To breathe. “Would you mind watching Macy while I go shower?” I ask Shadow when I hand him my dishes to put in the industrial dishwasher.
He looks at me, and he loses his smile when he looks at my face. “Sure. Everything okay?” he asks in concern.
“I’m fine,” I say, perhaps a bit too cheerily. “I just want to get freshened up. I’ll be right back.” Then I turn and all but flee out of the room.
I make it up to his room and shut the door behind me before I frantically pull out my phone and call my sister. I need her to talk me down. To tell me I’m crazy and that there is no way this can happen. Not yet. Not with everything going on.
“What up, buttercup?” Peyton says cheerfully when she answers my video call. Her expression immediately changes when she sees my expression. “What’s wrong?” she demands.
“I think I fell in love with Shadow,” I rush out, my chest feeling tight even as I say the words out loud.
Her face morphs into disbelief. “That’s why you look like your whole world is crashing down?” she says incredulously. “Are you crazy, Quinn? Of course, you are. You said he was a good guy, and you have a soft heart, so I figured that was a given by now.”
“I do not have a soft heart,” I argue. Why can’t she take my side on this? Shouldn’t she be telling me that falling in love with a man so fast is insane?
“Yes, you do, and that’s okay, Quinn. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I take it that you’re not sure you’re ready for that?”
“I barely know him,” I protest, sitting down on the edge of the bed and groaning. “We’ve been on one, count it,onedate, Peyton. Yes, I’ve slept with him, but that doesn’t mean I can just slide right into love. Not with everything else going on.”
“What else is going on?” I hesitate to answer but she just looks at me expectantly. I give her a quick run down, her mouth falling open in shock when I finally finish. “Holy shit,” she whispers. “Holyshit. I thought you were the quiet shy one, but instead, you’re shacking up with a biker who is fighting with the mafia.”
“You’re supposed to be horrified, not amazed,” I growl at her in irritation.
She shrugs. “Look, we’ve all been after you to live your life again after Bobby. I mean, I’m concerned about the mafia thing, but he’s promised to protect you and Macy. He came to the house in the middle of the night, took you to his clubhouse, made sure you were protected even while you slept, and helped make Macy happy with waffles and bacon this morning. Hell, I’ve never met him and I’m a little in love with him myself.”
“So you think I’m being overdramatic?” I ask tiredly.
“No, I think you’re being smart in questioning this,” she answers seriously. “Quinn, you’ve always been cautious and reserved, and that is fine. I love that about you. It really balances me out to hear your rational thinking on things when I’m dealing with some problem. But you need to make sure that your head doesn’t outweigh your heart all the time. You need some fun in your life. Though I wish you and Shadow had found each other at a less stressful time, but maybe this is life’s way of proving a point.
“When Bobby died, he left you picking up after his mess. Shadow’s mess, though not his fault by what you’ve said, involves you just by you being in a relationship with him, no matter how new. Instead of ignoring it and hoping it doesn’t touch you, he’s taking action, and that has to count for something.”
“I hate when you make sense,” I complain.
She chuckles. “That’s why we used to fight so much as kids, remember?”
I smile. “I remember, yeah. I also remember that you hid my barbies when I tried to make you play with me and you didn’t want to.”
She rolls her eyes. “Would you let that go already? I hid them in the litter box, yes I know. I also know they were your favorites and you have hated me for it ever since. Yeesh.”
I laugh. “Thanks, Peyton. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad, okay?”
“I won’t,” she promises. “Now, go back down there and flirt with your man and then try and sneak off for some kinky sex.” She winks and I roll my eyes at her before I say goodbye and hang up.
I blow out a breath and look around the room. It’s a man’s room, with nothing feminine around it, but it’s oddly comforting. I stand and go to my bag, grab some fresh underwear and head for the shower. A hot shower always helps me clear my head.
I let the water pour over me, soothing my skin, and let my mind go blank.Okay, I can do this, I tell myself. I can love Shadow and still be cautious. Being good with my daughter is great, but I need to see him as a man, a partner before I make any final decisions, and I haven’t had a chance to do that. We haven’t had our first fight over something stupid, and we haven’t made sure that we can make it work when things get tough. But I’ll never know if we can unless I give him a chance.
So I can do that, and I can keep my feelings under wraps until then.
Happy with my decision, I step out of the shower and dry off. I grab my clothes, but then I realize I got syrup on the front of my shirt. “Damn it,” I mutter, pulling on my bra and walking out into Shadow’s room and back to my bag. Unfortunately, in his haste Shadow only packed me pants, underwear, and pajamas; there are no other shirts. I sigh and glance around.
Hopefully he won’t mind me borrowing one of his shirts, because that’s my only option at this point. I go to his dresser, pull open the first drawer, grab the shirt on top and pull it on. It’s far too big for me, but I bunch it up and make a knot on the side to keep it from hanging too far down and looking so bulky.
Satisfied, I go to push the drawer shut but something peeking out from underneath a few other shirts catches my eye. I frown at it, then reach in to pull it out. It’s a picture. An old one, from what I can tell.
