Page 90 of The Devil's Reward
The question is, do I trust him? And if I do, is it strong enough for me to let him hold my daughter’s life in his hands?
“Quinn,” Shadow says quietly, moving back towards me and reaching up to cup my face in his hands and turn it back towards him. “Please,” he implores with a whisper, staring into my eyes.
My breath shudders from my lungs. It looks like I don’t have any choice. “You need to promise me that you will protect her, Shadow. I don’t give a shit about myself, but my daughter is my life. She is my reason for breathing, and I am putting her in your hands. Break that trust, and I will never forgive you.”
“I promise, Quinn,” he says with utter sincerity that I don’t have any choice but to believe. It’s written all over his face. “I won’t let you down, I promise.” Then he drops his hands and leans forward to kiss me.
I should push him away, but the kiss soothes me, brief as it is. The abatement of my panic and fear is only momentary. “I need to get Macy ready. How much should I pack?” I ask him, stepping back.
“Pack enough for a week,” he instructs, moving towards my closet. “I’ll pack for you.” He holds up his hand when I start to protest. “We need to move, Quinn. I’m not trying to snoop. Go and get Macy’s things, then we’ll take her out to your car, and we’ll go to the clubhouse. Okay?”
I nod stiffly, rushing out of the room and down the hallway. When I open Macy’s bedroom door, she’s still fast asleep, blanket kicked off the bed like always, one leg hanging limply over the side. It’s the picture of innocence, and I want to scream at the unfairness of it all. But I force myself to push it out of my mind, and with the light from the hallway, I grab her bag and quickly throw as many clothes as I can fit in it before I toss it out into the hallway.
I go over to Macy and gently rub her head. “Macy,” I murmur. “Macy, I need you to wake up for me, baby.” She murmurs something but doesn’t quite wake. “Come on, baby, we’re going to go for a sleepover with Shadow.” That seems to get her attention because her eyes slowly open and she peers up at me, still groggy with sleep.
“A sleepover?” she asks sleepily. “Okay.” I can tell she’s going to fall right back under if I don’t get her up, so I carefully roll her onto her back and then pick her up.
I turn, stopping when I see Shadow stepping in. He reaches for her, and I reluctantly hand her over. Macy snuggles her face into his neck and her eyes droop again. The trust she give him makes me want to cry. “I have the bags in the hallway,” Shadow whispers. “You grab them and follow me out to the car, alright?” I nod, and we head out.
When we’re on our way to the clubhouse, Shadow following closely behind me on his bike, I allow myself to think.
This situation is crazy, and my parents are going to freak out when I tell them, but I need to be calm for Macy. I need to decide what I want to do about Shadow. Am I going to trust him and his club to protect us? I already know Shadow is brave and will do anything to help those he cares about. Hell, he climbed into a burning vehicle to save Rose, at risk to himself. Both physically and emotionally.
I have no reason to think he won’t do the same for Macy and me. Especially Macy. I just have to hope that I’m not making the wrong decision. But the real question is, when this is all over, will I still want Shadow and his MC around my daughter?
I know little about the MC life other than what Shadow has told me, and what I’ve seen and read about. I do know that around town the Devil’s Soldiers are well regarded. Even cops seem to like them. I’ve seen a few of them talking to some members when I’ve been out and about around town. They weren’t in handcuffs or sitting in the back of cop cars, so that’s something.
There’s also the fact that they’re fighting this fight in the first place. Most people like to put on blinders and pretend this kind of thing doesn’t exist. Myself included. I guess the fact that they’re trying to right the wrongs that one of their own has done is admirable. I have to think that most MCs in their position would wipe their hands of it and just let it all play out. Or they’d join the mafia in their crimes and rake in the money and everything else that goes with it.
God, this is such a mess. I’m putting our lives in their hands and I don’t know anything about any of them. I know those I’ve spoken to briefly with Shadow around, but that’s about it. I don’t know if they’re assholes in leather, or if they’re saints that rescue puppies and kittens in their spare time.
By the time we reach the clubhouse gate, I’m no further ahead in working through my worries. But they’re going to have to wait, because we’re here and I need to put on a brave face for Macy.
I pull up to the clubhouse and park where Shadow indicates. He opens up the back door and scoops Macy out of her car seat where she’s fallen back asleep. Another man, one I instantly recognize as Viper, comes and grabs the bags out. “Hey, sugar,” he says quietly with a small smile. “I’ve got you all set up in Shadow’s room, okay?”
“Thank you,” I say softly as we follow Shadow inside.
The mood in the large room is subdued when we walk in, and I recognize Sniper standing by the bar. When he spots us, he makes his way over and says, “Hi, Quinn. Sorry, you’re back so soon under shitty circumstances, but I promise you’re both safe here, alright?”
“Thank you,” I say simply, because why argue. I’m probably not supposed to know anyway. I try not to fidget under the stares of everyone else in the room. I don’t recognize all of them, but I’ve seen most in passing.
“Let’s get you settled,” Shadow says quietly, rubbing Macy’s back when she makes a small noise in her sleep. “I’ll be back down once they’re set,” he says to Sniper. He nods and I follow Shadow up the stairs and down the darkened hallway to his room.
When we walk in, I take in the queen-sized bed. Shadow immediately goes to it and places Macy under the covers, tucking them gently around her before turning back to me. “Bathroom is through there,” he whispers, pointing at the only other door in the room. Even his closet has no doors on it. “Everything is in there that you could need. I need to go back downstairs and see where Sniper is on getting Bullet and the rest back here, and then I’ll be right back up, okay? Try and get some sleep.”
“Where are you going to sleep?” I ask him softly.
“I’m going to be sitting in that chair,” he says with a nod to the desk chair that he has by the window. “Not the first time I’ve slept in an uncomfy spot. I’m going to ask Viper to be right outside the door okay? Just in case you need something.”
I nod, appreciating the thought. “You don’t have to sleep in the chair, Shadow. It’s your bed.”
“And yours and Macy’s comfort is more important than my own,” he whispers firmly. He wraps his hand gently around the back of my neck and pulls me forward, up on my tiptoes to give me a quick kiss. “I will make this up to you, Quinn. I promise,” he whispers. Then he lets go and heads out of the room, shutting the door softly behind him.
I stand in the room, pitch dark except for the moonlight pouring in through the window, and sigh. Even with everything, he’s putting us first, and I want to stay mad, but I’m just too tired. I need sleep, and maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. Or at least be able to think clearly.
I carefully lift Macy and move her further into the bed so she’s closest to the wall, and then squeeze in with her. I leave enough space for Shadow, just in case, and wrap my arms around Macy, holding her close.
FORTY-SIX
