Page 36 of The Devil's Reward
“When did you see him earlier?” Peyton demands.
I wince. “Ah, well, a homeless man tried to take a bit of money from me and—”
“You were mugged?” my mother screeches, interrupting me. “And you didn’t think to call us?”
“I wasn’t mugged,” I protest, though all of them are scowling at me. “Shadow and another club member showed up and made him stop before he was able to do anything. Then Shadow walked me to the ice cream shop down the street to make sure I was alright. He had to leave, though, so he reminded me I have his number and told me to call him if I had any more trouble.” My face warms at the memory.
“Smooth,” my father praises. “And a smart man. Great way to give a woman his number and get hers back.”
“He could be a crazy stalker,” Mom points out, though she doesn’t look all that concerned. Probably because he saved me from a mugging.
“He’s not a stalker.”
“You said you ran into him more than once,” Peyton reminds me.
I groan and collapse back on the couch. I quickly explain all the events of how we met and each time after, and when I’m finished, I add, “He’s not a stalker. Most of those times he was there before I was.”
“Alright, he’s not a stalker,” Peyton agrees. “Which is why you’re going out with him.”
“I am?” I ask drolly. “Is that an order?”
“It can be,” Peyton grins. “Come on, we both know you like him or you wouldn’t be freaking out this much. Or leaving him hanging,” she adds pointedly.
I wince. I don’t want to think about Shadow waiting on the other side of that text, wondering why I’m not answering. Or if I am running away from him. God, why does this have to be so complicated?
“It’s not complicated,” my mother says briskly, and my face flames. Crap, I said that out loud. “It comes down to two things. Do you like him?”
“Well, I don’t really know him,” I hedge.
She gives me a stern look. “That’s not what I asked. Do you like him? Are you attracted to him?”
“Hard not to be attracted to a man who looks like that,” I retort. She just glares at me. I sigh. “Yes, I’m attracted to him.”
“Good. And do you think that Macy would have a problem with you going out with him?”
I think back to the conversation in the grocery store. “No,” I pout.
“Then you have your answer. Don’t let the past keep you back, baby,” she says gently. “Shadow is, by all accounts, a good man. From what you can see, he’s not stalking you, doesn’t give off crazy murder vibes, and is good with Macy. If you don’t give him a chance, you might lose out on something special.”
My shoulders slump. “It’s not that, Mom,” I say softly. “I don’t know if I’m ready to date anyone. It’s only been a few years since…”
My father moves farther into the frame and gives me a serious look. Uh oh. My father rarely gives me that look. “Quinn, you need to let the past go. What Bobby did, it hurt you, it broke you, and it pisses me off. You loved him, and he gave you the best gift he could have, but he is gone. He is not coming back. If you let him hold you back, that is letting him win. And I swore that I would never let that happen. You’re living in another state because of the bullshit that happened here, and we understood. Never doubted for a minute that it was what you needed. But you’ve been there for years now, and what do you have to show for it?
“You have a great career, sure, and an amazing daughter who has thrived, but what else? You’re not just a mother and a social worker. You’re a woman, and you need a life too. You need friends, people to confide in that aren’t family, and you need to be yourself. You were so happy here, and even after everything with Bobby, you came out the other side. You’re stronger for it. You’ve turned down dates before, but none of them, save for the very first one after Bobby died, have made you call your sister freaking the hell out. I think you’re more ready for this than you think, but you’re letting fear hold you back. And we didn’t raise you to sit back and hide. We’ve let you nurse your wounds, get yourself settled, and get your feet under you and Macy, but no more. You’re going to say yes to that man. You’re going to make sure that he takes you somewhere public. And you’re going to have a good time. Maybe it won’t move past one date, but it’s the first step in reclaiming your life.”
When he steps back I can see my mother eyeing him appreciatively, while Peyton nods her head in agreement.
I want to refute everything he said, to tell him that Bobby isn’t holding me back. But I know he’s right. Deep down, I know. Tears burn at the back of my eyes. “I’m just scared of what could happen,” I whisper.
“We know that, honey,” Mom says gently. “But you need to take that first step. It’s time to be happy for yourself. Say yes, go out and have a good time, and see what happens. Maybe it will be a disaster, but you’ll have done the hard part of taking the first step, which means the next one will be easier.”
“But what about Macy? I don’t have anyone to watch her,” I point out, grasping at my last straw.
“Then you find someone, or you wait until we get there and we’ll watch her,” Peyton reasons. “So stop stalling and put the poor man out of his misery.”
I take a deep breath and pull up Shadow’s text. I stare at it for a moment, my fingers trembling and my stomach cramping as anxiety and fear beat through me. What if he’s not actually interested in me? Or what if he is, and then we go out and he realizes how boring I am? Isn’t that what Bobby told me before he left on his last tour? That he hoped I would grow a personality and stop being so awkward and shy?
“Do it, baby,” Mom encourages. “Just tell him yes.”
