Page 1 of She’ll Steal Your Heart
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The floor vibrated beneath Lauren Booker’s sneakers, thumping rhythmically as the train sped along the tracks. Lauren stared out the window to her left, her gaze locked on the Manhattan skyline adorning the horizon ahead. Her arms tightened around the backpack in her lap, and butterflies danced in her stomach.
Home.
At least, it used to be. Now the sight of the familiar skyline filled her with a deep sense of yearning. After over a year in Rhode Island, one of the hardest years of her life, she missed her hometown desperately. Officially, she was here now to meet some of her online friends in person for a fun weekend get together.
Unofficially…Lauren was going to fight like hell to stay. But for that to happen, she would have to face her past and accept the consequences of her actions. She would have to turn herself in to the police.
The knowledge rested heavily on her shoulders, slowly pushing her down, and she couldn’t bear the weight much longer. She had to set herself free, even if it meant going to jail. But first, a fun weekend with friends.
“Can you believe we’re finally back?” she whispered to Craig. When she and her brother fled the city together over a year ago, she hadn’t been sure when—or if—this moment would come.
The train plunged into a tunnel as it began its descent below Manhattan. Lauren stared into the darkness outside her window. Anticipation coiled inside her. Despite everything, she was so glad to be back in this city,hercity. She’d missed it every single day she’d been gone.
“What do you think, Craig? Should I stop for a hot dog from Sunny’s on my way to the Airbnb?” She grinned at the thought, and her stomach gave a hungry gurgle.
Her phone pinged inside her backpack, the sound of an incoming email, and she unzipped the top pocket to pull it out. The email was from Archive of Our Own—better known as AO3 in the fandom community—the website where she read and posted fan fiction. Someone had left a new comment onSkin Deep, theIn Her Defensefanfic that was Lauren’s pride and joy.
In Her Defensewas a legal drama starring Lauren’s favorite actress and celebrity crush, Piper Sheridan. Piper’s character on the show, Samantha Whitaker, was a badass lawyer who seemed destined to hook up with the show’s male lead, but she also had amazing chemistry with her onscreen best friend, Claire, which had prompted an online queer cult following for Sam and Claire. Their fans had dubbed Sam and Claire as #Clairantha on social media.
Reading fan fiction about Sam and Claire had been a much-needed source of joy for Lauren over the last few years, and it had sparked something in her, a long-repressed urge to write. As a child, she’d written stories on note paper and dreamed of being an author someday, but as an adult, it hadn’t seemed like a practical goal. She and Craig had bounced through the foster care system until she aged out and took legal custody of him, and then she’d had to work her ass off to provide for them both.
“You drew the coolest illustrations for those stories I wrote for you when we were little,” she whispered. “We made a great team.”
Her arms tightened reflexively around the backpack in her lap, feeling the solid outline of the urn containing Craig’s ashes inside it. Her vision blurred, and her throat ached. She sucked in a breath, determined not to cry on a crowded Amtrak train. Ever since they were kids, it had always been Lauren and Craig against the world. Who was she now without him?
Desperate for a distraction from her spiraling emotions, she clicked on the email from AO3.
SamIsMyWife left the following comment on Skin Deep: OMG you’re amazing! I just binge read this whole story, and I’m crying at how beautiful it was. This is without a doubt the best Clairantha fic I’ve ever read.
Lauren’s cheeks warmed at the compliment. She’d been terrified to post the first chapter, certain no one would read her indulgent little story, and if they did, they’d definitely laugh at her and tell her she was a terrible writer.
That hadn’t happened. Instead, she got regular comments like this one, comments that filled the void where her self-esteem ought to be. She’d made online friends in theIn Her Defensefan community, people who shared her obsession with the show and with Sam’s character in particular. That community and these comments had almost single-handedly gotten her through the past year.
Her phone dinged again, this time a new message in her WhatsApp group chat. Lauren clicked on it, and a photo appeared on her screen: two smiling women who she was about to meet in person for the first time. Ashleigh’s jet-black hair, pale skin, and cherry-red lipstick gave her a bit of a goth vibe. By contract, Fatima’s skin was a warm golden brown, her wavy black hair pulled back in a ponytail as she grinned at the camera. They wore matching Clairantha T-shirts, the same shirt Lauren was wearing.
The caption below the photo read, “WE’RE HERE!!!” Lauren could just make out the living room of the Airbnb they’d rented for the weekend behind them. Another photo followed, this time Sarah and her girlfriend, Quinn, also in their Clairantha shirts.
Sarah: Our flight just landed! We’ll be there in an hour or so. CAN’T WAIT TO SEE AND HUG YOU ALL!
Quinn:
Ashleigh: Our Airbnb is so nice! Fatima and I are going on a grocery run. The door code is 4853 if you get here before we’re back.
Lauren: I’m on Amtrak — should get there around the same time as Sarah and Quinn. Excited doesn’t cover it!
Fatima: Same, girl. Same!!
Mia: Leaving the café shortly. See you all soon!
Lauren took a quick selfie in her seat and sent it to the group. The new season ofIn Her Defensewould release at midnight, and she and her friends were going to hang out in their Airbnb all weekend and watch it together.
Lauren could hardly wait, both to see the new season and to meet her friends in person. Mia was the only local and would be staying in her own apartment this weekend. She was a former lawyer who’d recently opened a cat café in Brooklyn, which Lauren totally wanted to visit now that she was back in town so she could snuggle all the cats.
Mia had been a huge help to Lauren when she was writingSkin Deep. She’d answered all Lauren’s legal questions for the story, and she had been one of the first people to read and rave about the fic after Lauren posted it. They often messaged each other outside the group chat and had formed a friendship that Lauren cherished. Consequently, she was extra excited to meet Mia today. She hoped their online friendship would translate seamlessly into a real-life one, especially as Lauren—hopefully—reestablished herself in Brooklyn, where Mia also lived.
The train slowed as it began its approach into Penn Station. Lauren took a final glance at the messages on her phone before she tucked it inside her backpack. The train rolled to a stop, and people began crowding at both ends of the car to exit. Lauren slipped her backpack over her shoulders and stood, reaching up to retrieve her duffel bag from the overhead compartment.
