Page 50 of Off the Mark
I stood, nodded at the cash. “Thanks for breakfast too. Next time you see Tina, can you tell her it was the best scrapple I ever had?”
His smile broadened. “You liked it?”
“Fuckinglovedit.”
But as we moved through the market, back out into the sizzling summer day, his jaw stayed set, gaze a little distracted. I linked our hands together again—for optics purposes only—and said, “Is it tough seeing fans?”
His head turned, a line between his brows. The light we were waiting at changed to green, and I had to tug him forward when he didn’t move.
“Uh…yeah,” he said. “Yeah, it was tough. This stuff always brings up a lot of memories for me.”
“Does it get any easier after you retire?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
He shook his head. “No. Not one bit. There are lots of things I don’t miss—all the travel, the physical pain, the grueling schedule. And Ilikethe life I’ve got now, wouldn’t change it if I could. But also…” He rubbed the back of his head. “I’m not sure a person ever gets over having their dreams destroyed like that. Instantly. It’s like the way I miss my parents.”
I went still, eyeing him closely. “Because it’s…constant?”
“Yeah. Something I live with, the way my shoulder still hurts.” His fingers squeezed mine, his smile as sweet as I’d ever seen it. “Not having the rec center in my life would be horrible though, so it feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be. It’s all complicated. Something I know you’ve always understood.”
We stopped in front of the large glass windows of the convention center. I was dimly aware that we were being watched, but the status of my reputation felt trivial in this moment.
Because I did understand. Late nights at Jolene’s, when he didn’t leave with someone but stayed, stayed until he was the last one there, wedidtalk about this stuff. He hadn’t lost baseball yet, but he had lost his parents. And I had a dad who losthiscareer plus a mom who’d bounced from our lives like we were a mere inconvenience.
“I do,” I said firmly. “Rowan, if any of this is going to bring up too many bad memories—”
“I’ll tell you, I swear.” His face lightened. “I’m still prepared to give this fake boyfriend thing my all. So you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Fine, but I’m only keeping you around for your scrapple connections.”
He pointed upwards. “And my hot face.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I mean, it’s nodistraction, but not everyone can be as hot as me.”
He laughed, rich and rumbling, and stepped in close. My head tipped back to hold his gaze, and I panicked when I thought he was going to kiss me.
And when I realized, secretly, that I wanted him to.
“What’s…what are you doing?” I asked, a little breathlessly.
His dark eyes searched mine. “We already did neck nuzzling so I thought we should keep things fresh for whatever fans are creepily spying on us right now.”
I snorted. “What do you have in mind?”
“I could…kiss your hand?”
“Like a prince in a fucking fairy-tale?”
“More like an old-fashioned gentleman,” he said with a lopsided grin. “Though I mean no offense. I’m no gentleman, and you’re no lady.”
I pressed a hand to my chest. “Thank you for clarifying. I would hate for it to get out that I was secretly anice girl. Talk about a career killer.”
Rowan lifted my knuckles to his lips, eyes still leashed to mine. “Don’t lie, Charlie. You’ve always been a secret nice girl.”
A volley of snarky replies rose in my thoughts, but then his mouth touched my skin, and those same thoughts went haywire. His lips were firm. Confident. He kissed my hand again, his gaze blazing with a dark lust so far fromgentlemanlyit was laughable.
I wasn’t laughing though. I was wilting, my knees starting to weaken, so I locked them instead and gave Rowan the kind of cool scrutiny he often teased me about at Jolene’s.
Anything to mask what the feel of his mouth was doing to me. He turned my hand over and kissed the inside of my palm.
