Page 22 of Off the Mark
Two decades later, and I knew there was a part of her still hoping my dad was simply on his way. That he’d be here any second.
My grandmother nodded and patted my cheek. “What was Tabitha talking about with the center? You haven’t mentioned anything being wrong.”
I pushed to stand with my left arm and felt the sharp pinch in my shoulder, reminding me that I’d climbed that tree two days ago. “We’re having some…problems. Money problems. We need it and don’t have enough.”
“Oh, yes. A tale as old as time,” she mused, sounding tired now.
“Let me get you that tea, okay?”
I walked back into the kitchen and put on the kettle. Found her cup, plate, and sugar on autopilot. I could walk through this house blindfolded and anticipate every dip in the floorboards, every squeaky stair and frayed rug. So as the water boiled, I carefully closed the open photo album and placed it back where it belonged.
Sometimes we sat with these albums for hours. Sometimes we even did it with other people, like Eddie and Maria and Midge, pouring Irish whiskey. Laughing a lot. Crying a little.
There were plenty of other times, however, when it hurt so bad I could barely stand to look at them. Tonight was one of those nights.
Water boiled, I brought over the tea on a tray, happy to see my grandmother peering out the front windows with a smile back on her face. “Don’t spy on people. It’s rude,” I teased.
“I can’t spy if people aren’t out, doing things, andno one is doing anything.”
“Drink your tea.” I nudged it her way. “Someone will come out soon with all the best gossip.”
She hummed irritably but sipped from her mug. I surveyed the house, made sure everything was plugged in, cleaned up and in its rightful place. “Do you want me to stay and keep you company? We can watch that HGTV show you like where you make fun of everyone’s wallpaper choices.”
She pursed her lips. “People should make better decisions if they don’t want me to judge them.” But then she waved her hand in ashoogesture. “And I’ll be fine. Just text me when you get home so I know you got there safely.”
I scooped up my Phillies hat and keys, bent to kiss her cheek once more. “I can do that. I love ya, Alice O’Callaghan.”
“Love you too, dear heart,” she said. “And everything will work out at your job.”
I paused, my hand on the door and my heart sinking. “Do you think so? Because the situation’s bleak.”
Likefire your best friend and cut a critical community programbleak.
She tipped her cup my way. “We take care of each other in this neighborhood. Lord knows you and I have been taken care of when we needed it the most. When someone needs help, we do it. Even if we have to get a little creative sometimes.”
“You might be right about that,” I admitted.
And it was true, because an hour later, I was still turning over my grandmother’s words.
Even if we have to get a little creative.
I set my now-empty Yuengling down on my stoop and stretched my legs out till they reached the sidewalk. It was a sticky summer night, and it felt like half the neighborhood was out and about. I couldn’t say what their motives were, but mine wereavoiding my fucking email.
The message from Luciana—about the grant, Dean’s position, and the senior program—had included the entire board. So now there was a whole string of messages with bad news, just waiting for me to sift through and respond that I understood. That I got it.
That I’d do it.
I massaged the back of my neck, where a heavy tension had permanently settled. Part of me had been excited to be a leader again, to play the roles I used to love. Rallying people’s spirits, motivating teammates through rough patches.
I should have known better.
Before this, I’d been content in my coordinator role, happy to take marching orders and put out small fires. I hadn’t been prepared to wander into this current shit show. But hadn’t I learned, over and over, not to reach for what I wanted?
It always got taken away.
I snatched up my phone, eager to scroll mindlessly rather than decipher the financial reports awaiting me inside. I peeked through headlines, final scores, various hot takes. Found the page on ESPN’s website covering the daily updates from the motocross championships.
My thumb hovered over a link toread more.
