Page 117 of Off the Mark
“On bad days, when I look at this picture, I imagine that they live there. That this is some recent postcard they’ve sent us from their new life in Arizona.”
“If only it was,” she replied. “If only.”
She let me sit like that for a minute, stroking my hair. When I finally sat up, I pressed my palms into my eyes and sniffed. I expected to find Alice watery-eyed too, but she was smiling, oddly enough.
It was a secretive smile, anI know something you don’tvibe that had me perking up, curious.
“What’s that look for?” I asked.
She waved her finger in a circle around my face. “You look like an anvil just dropped on your head.”
I scoffed, then raked my hands through my hair. “I’m sleep-deprived and in need of coffee, you mean.”
“It’s because of the anvil.”
“Last night I slept on a couch made for a child.”
She stood and started to putter around me, tidying up. “Say what you want, Rowan. Your father tried to deny it too, at first. After he met your mother. I knew it from the moment I met that Charlie of yours that she’s the reason why you’ve been floating around the block looking so bewildered. So as much as I love when you stay here, you should fix whatever happened between the two of you. And fix it fast.”
I opened my mouth to argue but stopped when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My red hair stuck out at every angle. I had half a beard on my jaw, and my eyes were bleary. I already knew that I was hopelessly in love with Charlie Maddox. Suspected, at times, that the wholeanvil on my headthing was happening to me.
It was something else entirely, seeing the actual effects.
“I’m in love with Charlie,” I said over my shoulder. The words, out loud, sent my heart into fuckingoverdrive.
“Yes, I know dear, that’s what Ijust said.”
I laughed into my hands, half exhausted, half wired. A second later, I heard the screen door open and Dean’s voice.
“Yo, I got food here,” he called.
“He’s in there,” Alice said, in the loudest whisper I’d ever heard. “And he and Charlie are in love. He needs your help. Oh, look, your mother is here, and she looks like she has gossip.”
Dean strolled into the room, whistling. In his hand was a plate of breakfast casserole—eggs, cheese, bacon—and a large cup of coffee.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” I asked.
He set the food and coffee down and motioned me to stand. I did and he immediately pulled me in for a fast hug.
“I’m happy for you, Rowan,” he rumbled, then slapped me on my non-injured shoulder. “I’m sad to see Elaine go but also so glad you’re taking over.”
I sank back onto the couch, feeling like shit. Feelingguilty. And it must have showed on my face. Dean handed me the coffee and said, “What’s wrong, you don’t want the job now?”
“Nothin’s wrong. I, uh…I feel bad because I’ve been keeping a secret from you for weeks. Thought it was the right call but now I’m not so sure it was.”
“You mean because the board wanted to cut my job and the food program?”
I paused with the cup halfway to my mouth. “You knew?”
He shrugged. “Not officially, but I kinda guessed. Also, I’ve been guarding this knowledge about you for my entire life but…” A grin spread across his face. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“Me? No way.What?”
“You’re not the worst I’ve ever seen? But you’re not great either. And I’m not stupid, Rowan. I’m the newest hire at a nonprofit with funding issues and whenever I brought it up, you’d always change the subject too fast.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I did,” I said. “Your job is secure, by the way. Yours, Eddie’s, and the rest of the food program. But until I knew for certain, I thought I’d be worrying you for no reason.”
I passed a hand over the stubble on my jaw. “Except if the board had forced the issue, they could have cut you at any time, and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, having you be surprised like that. I shouldn’t have done it.”
