Page 48 of On the Ropes
She’d spoken about this the other day. When she admitted she’d secretly hated cheerleading. His heart was very…fragile at that time. I didn’t want to put any extra pressure on it.
“Was he sad because he still loved your mom?” I asked, a little tentative. I wracked my brain for memories of her sharing about this in our support group. My impression had always been that her mom wasn’t in their lives anymore.
“Not at all,” she said emphatically. “Now that I’m older, I understand he was mourning the person she’d turned into. She wasn’t a loveable person. And she’s much too manipulative to love my dad the way he deserves.” Her face filled with affection. “Dad refers to Kathleen as his extremely patient soul mate. He took some extra time finding her.”
“I think I’ve only met her a couple times,” I said. “My impression is that she’s very…protective.”
Tabitha snorted. “That’s an accurate impression. Having Kathleen as a stepmom is like having six moms.”
“I know the feeling,” I said, brow raised. “I actually have two moms. Still feels like I have at least double that.”
She laughed. I wondered if making Tabitha laugh was something a person could ever get tired of.
She twirled her spoon through the water ice, carving little circles. “You know, those nights at John’s? I think deep down Dad was worried about us and we were worried about him and it was like a cyclone of keeping each other happy. But you know my dad. Seeing that guy sad is like watching an otter cry. It’s heartbreaking.”
A few beats of silence passed. Then I said, “You take good care of your family, Tabitha.”
She shot me a wry look. “When I’m home. I’m constantly on the road.”
“They must miss you a lot.”
There was that flicker again. But I would have missed it if I wasn’t paying such close attention to everything about her. The strands of hair around her face, blowing in the warm breeze. The flecks of gold in her brown eyes.
“Yeah, they do. I miss them all the time too,” she said. I sensed she wanted to change the subject before she did. Something about the way her spine straightened. I wondered if this was what she meant about traveling light. Like revealing vulnerable parts of herself weighed her down.
Thinking about the things we had in common wasn’t helping my heart rate. Neither was the current position of our bodies. We’d both shifted on the stoop at the same time, and my right hand was now trapped between my thigh and Tabitha’s. We realized it at the same time. I could feel her muscles flexing against the back of my hand. The tips of my fingers grazed the inside of her knee. I froze. Didn’t move.
Tabitha did move. Maybe it was coincidence. Or an accident. The pressure against my hand increased, like she was pressing into me.
I didn’t dare look up. The sexual desire storming through my brain was a temptation I didn’t need. Eating dessert on a summer night was innocent even if she was being cute and teasing. But now I wanted to drag her inside, to splay her out on my couch and let my fingers glide up her thigh. I could work open those shorts, then work my hand inside.
I’d make her come on my fingers over and over. See that satisfied look on her face for a totally different reason.
“I probably should have asked this before I invited you over to…eat my water ice. But you don’t have a Mrs. Machine hanging out in there, do you?”
It was dangerous to make eye contact. I did it anyway, lured by the soft tremble in her voice.
“Are you asking if I’m single?”
She was staring at my mouth. I got hard. Immediately. “Just being neighborly. A super nosy one.”
“I’m single,” I said in a raw-sounding voice. “What about you?”
“I’m definitely single,” she said with a breezy smile. “I was seeing this woman in Sacramento. Shelby. But I broke things off before I came back home. I travel so much, it’s better if I don’t get too attached to anyone. Or for anyone to get too attached to me. Right now, I’m more interested in temporary hookups than bouquets of flowers.”
A strange sort of jealousy twisted in my stomach. Who the hell were these people who could have sex with Tabitha and not want more?
“But that’s good,” she continued. “Knowing this block, someone’s been watching us chat on this stoop all night, which means by dawn half of South Philly will believe we’re engaged in a passionate and torrid love affair. Especially if they think I’m the other woman.”
I felt my lips twitch. “My innocent reputation will be ruined.”
“Your reputation?” She clutched her chest. “Sure, you’re a nice guy and all, but you don’t seem very innocent to me.”
If she only knew.
That heady feeling of adrenaline and confidence wanted me to act.If Rowan were here, he’d be begging me to live a little. Fuck each other, have some temporary fun, and then move on.
But Tabitha wasn’t an extra dessert or a hangover I’d regret. She was my most challenging opponent yet, and there was no training my way out of this unnecessary complication.
With the last remaining scraps of that willpower, I sat back and pressed my shoulder blades to the storm door. It freed my hand and put a couple inches between us.
Tabitha had had me on the ropes from the second she’d fallen into my lap. I’d had a thing for this woman since high school. She was my neighbor. And I’d just asked her to build a park with me.
I was already too attached.
