Page 106 of Seeking Stars
Liam: Talk tomorrow
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Liam woke up with a tension headache. He had had a difficult time falling asleep, anger and confusion pumping adrenaline into his bloodstream.
How unfair that this was happening to Ana. How difficult to keep hope, to trust that this wouldn't tear their budding relationship apart. How ironic, that it was in the middle of this that he'd shocked himself with the words he'd almost typed out the night before. Words he hadn't expected, but that had wanted to come out of him as naturally as he breathed.
It had almost slipped from his fingers, a ready conclusion to the last text he'd sent the night before:I love you.
It felt grounded, real. Scary. New and predictable. He'd never gotten to this place this fast, nor this deeply. He'd loved someone before— or so he'd thought at the time. Even so, this thing building between Ana and him, the feeling burning inside him, it was different. It was solid, and rich, and it felt like certainty.
What was he supposed to do with it now?
Such an inconvenient time to be shocked with the revelation of it. He wasn't ready to tell her, especially not now that tension had appeared between them— scratch that, around them. He understood that she needed time to feel impervious to the mess surrounding them, and he wanted to respect it, as scared as it made him. All in all, this was not the time to share this bit of news with her. He didn't want to scareher.
Maybe he needed to call Dr. Linda and get an appointment. When he'd come to the conclusion that he felt lonely and that he needed friends and wanted a partner, he'd failed to realize that making sure he became the right person for the people he wanted amounted to only half of it. That not only he had to overcome the impact this industry had had on him, but he'd have to witness his people do the same. And that their survival wasn't a sure thing.
A fist squeezed his stomach into a tight ball of nerves. He could do nothing but be the right person for her, and pray that showing her how invested he was would be enough.
After some deliberation, he asked Mo to make a copy of his home key and send it to Ana. He wrote a note and gave it to him to add to the envelope.
After Mo left, Liam took his phone and typed quickly.
Liam: I'm hopping into a mtg right now, but can I call in ab an hr? I want to hear your voice.
He checked her text in the middle of the meeting with Kyle, the director ofLethal Whispers.
Ana: Yes, let's talk
For the sake of professionalism, he ignored the instinct of calling her right away. He had to settle for continuing the conversation with Kyle with a rock on his chest.
He called her as soon as he'd hung up on the meeting.
"Hey," she said, her voice teary. Her eyes were red on the screen.
"Hey. You okay? Holding up?"
"I think so." After a wet chuckle, she continued, "Well, somewhat. There are still a few paps swarming the public parking lot like flies. What are they even waiting for? Don't they have to return to their much-bigger, much-more interesting cities? Where actual celebrities live? And a couple of my documentary people texted me. Diana told me they were being harassed and that she's trying to help them, but… I feel horrible that I can't do anything for them. I've been chatting with them but… it's too much. And I still need to reach out to my other people, check in on them."
Her voice broke, her lips pressing into a helpless line.
"What is Diana planning to do?" he asked. His free hand itched with the need to touch her, comfort her. His fingers dug into his thigh instead.
"She told me she'd send me a draft for a public statement, and that she wanted me to make a post about it. After that's done, she wants me to pretend nothing happened."
"That's kind of standard."
"She also said to stop living in a dream world and to finish things off with you."
"Fuck that," he said. It escaped him through a scoff. It made her chuckle.
"I happen to share your sentiment. This is all a mind fuck, but I don't appreciate her thinking that part of managing the situation is telling me whether I should be with you or not. That's not what this is about. This is about whether I can handle the bullshit around us."
"I'm so sorry this is happening, Ana. I wish I was there. Maybe I can fly there tomorrow for the weekend? I could be there by midnight or so."
"You don't have to do that. You'd be here Saturday morning and having to leave Sunday afternoon at the latest to be there for your call to set on Monday morning. And my flight is two days later."
"I don't care. I really don't. All I care about is being together right now. I think being apart can really confuse things for us."
