Page 37 of Seeking Stars
He turned his head to look at her, as well. "And?"
She pursed her lips, as if trying to determine the best course of action. "If you're curious, I can tell you what I think I've learned so far."
"Yes, please. Go ahead."
She nodded. "If someone had asked me what I'd feel if I ever met you, I'd have guessed starstruck. Instead, since Coulton's office, that's not what I've felt. Granted, it helped that you were moody that day, because my pride squelched any giddiness I might have felt."
He grinned. "That's good."
"Your hesitation at being seen through my camera helped me see past the glitter. Made you more real. It made me want to get to knowyou."
His chest softened, old gates creaking as they opened to receive her words. He thanked whatever had made him want to ask, because he craved having someone see him that way. Someone other than his therapist, anyway.
"Thank you. I appreciate that," he tried, knowing that such simple words couldn't express all he meant.
They were still looking at each other. Her eyes searched his face. He hoped his gaze remained open and that she found enough there to want to keep looking; he really wanted her to keep looking.
"I hope I can say this right," she added, leaning into him so that her shoulder pressed against his arm. "Spending all this time with you has helped me see that there's nothing special about you, Liam. You're not different. You're just like any other person doing their job, taking their talents and trying to use them well. The circumstances are strange and weird and overwhelming… but that says nothing about who you really are. Meanwhile, the glitter has made you invisible to most people, and it's caused you hurt."
His open chest flooded, the wave of it inundating him and seizing up his throat. He didn't know it could be like this, feeling understood by someone else.
She must have thought he'd misunderstood her meaning, for she put her hand on his thigh and squeezed, her forehead wrinkling with worry.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean anything bad by it. What I mean is—"
"I think I know what you meant," he managed, rawness in his voice. "And it means more than I can say."
"Good, because I also think you feel alone, and it makes me sad."
He reached and put his hand under hers. Her brown eyes called to him, pulling him in; he said nothing else, struck by them.
She shook her head. "It must be so fucking lonely, to have so many people surround you and seek you out, but none that'll bother going deeper than skin level."
He let himself interlock his fingers with hers, there where their hands rested on his leg. It was his way to say what he couldn't, that he hadn't felt alone since she'd been around.
Chapter 11 - Transition
Liam didn't mean to keep to himself after his conversation with Ana two nights before. The confusing feelings he harbored upon waking up the following morning disappeared after a strenuous workout and, since Ana seemed busy working on her computer, he'd gotten into a book for most of the day. He'd even relaxed enough to take his first nap in ages.
He had different plans for the hours ahead. The antsy feeling in his belly begged for a change.
The part of him that actually enjoyed exercising convinced him to do cardio and finish with a swim. He came out of the ocean and onto the deck, finding Ana on a lounge chair scrolling her phone.
"Morning." He sat on the other chair. "All caught up with work?"
Ana put her phone on a small table between the chairs. She turned her big camera on and placed it at the end of her chair, framing him mostly. "Morning. Yeah, done for now. Just Diana wanting a bit of a write up. How was your swim?"
"It was great. The current is a bit rough though, so if you want to go in, let me know."
"Thanks. I don't think I'll swim any time soon; I'm enjoying the sun."
"So, a write up? I've never had to write something for Coulton." He reached for the sunscreen bottle on the small table between them. He applied it with business-like precision, hands fast on his calves.
"Apparently the request came from Coulton's office. Diana didn't say as much, but if I read between the lines, I think they want to make sure I don't mess things up."
Liam frowned. "That's… shitty, isn't it? You're the director. They wanted you for a reason."
"Yeah, but also I'm super new and unknown. They probably don't want to give me free rein with their highest grossing star."
