Page 110 of Seeking Stars
"Thank you for being awesome."
"I can't help it."
"I need to talk to him." Ana sighed. "Tell him how I feel. Let him help me and hold me and not run away until I rationalize it somehow."
"At the very least. Find a grand gesture maybe. The poor guy must be dying."
"It's been three hours, Ely. Four days since he was here."
"So?"
She laughed. "I want to do it."
"Meanwhile, I'll keep my alerts for you two. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll always have your back."
***
Ana woke up with resolve in every cell of her body: she would show Liam she chose him. That, more than quiet, more than a plan, more than anything, she wanted him.
She packed some of the things she'd like to take with her to LA, fantasizing about the moment she'd see him and cling to him, holding him close until he believed her. She tried to reschedule her trip to Sunday but wasn't successful. She tried to find Mo's number, too, hoping he'd be able to help her. She wasn't lucky with that, either.
Deciding to call again later, she watched her favorite recorded moments, then got a couple of hours of work done. She caught herself checking her phone often, wanting to see a text from Liam, missing him. No texts came through. Of course, he didn't know she was done needing time and, after less than a day since their last talk, he respected her request and didn't push. It only made her want to show up with a grand gesture herself even more.
She tried calling the airline again. While on hold, she posted a clip to social media which got flooded with comments within minutes. With lava in her veins, she read a few despite everyone's advice, testing herself. Proving that she could take it and it would not make her change her mind: she wouldn't be afraid, and she wouldn't hide. Hiding in fear could hurt her career more than anything anyone said about her could. Fear could ruin the magical thing she'd found with Liam, and she would not take that risk, anymore.
While still waiting for the airline to pick up, she received an email from Diana with an attachment titledStatement Draft. Ana ignored it; she was done with that, too. Instead, she announced a live stream for an hour after.
Forty-five minutes later, Ana still had not been connected to someone on the phone, and she had to hang up and lose her place in the queue again, forced to set up for the live video. After one last look at her notes, she had barely enough time to ignore one more email from Diana, one asking her to confirm approval of the draft she'd sent before the stream started. Clicking the notification away, she took a deep breath and pressedgo live.
At first she kept to her notes. She talked about how this latest project got set up and the importance of being genuine but, not five minutes into it, the amount of live reactions and comments overwhelmed her. They were too loud to ignore: most of them asked her about Liam and a few were about Dave; some were messages for her, fans expressing their feelings about her and her work. She tried to keep chatting with fans, to keep the rhythm going, but this stream was different than the ones before. Her pace broke.
She turned silent, unaware. At least two minutes went by— a century on a live stream— where her eyes focused on the words inundating her screen. So many of those insulted her, insulted Liam, aimed to poison what they were to each other. Accusing her of terrible things, making her see red.
Ignoring the trolls wouldn't be enough, this time.
"You know what?" She finally said, looking straight to the camera. "There's no version out there of the truth. You're going to make up things about us anyway, but count yourself lucky if you're watching: this is what I want you to know about Liam and me."
***
Liam thanked the powers that be that he was on a break when Ana would do her live stream. How could he miss her so much after only a day?
He signed up to social media with his anonymous profile, ready to watch. He wasn't sure what to make of her choice to work despite everything going on, but at least it allowed him to check in with her in a way. God, but he hated this waiting limbo.
She came online and greeted everyone. She looked happier than he expected, both gratefulness and pain flourished inside of him. He watched her describe what the goals for this stream were and, although it all referred to work, comments were going wild. He read some of them: the fans with theirI love yous, the trolls with their venom. Biting the inside of his lips, he typedI love youand sent it in. It got lost among the comments, just like he expected.
Ana got progressively flustered from reading people's words on her screen; she went silent and his ears perked up, sensing something was about to happen. She got a fiery spark in her eyes.
"You know what?" she finally said, looking straight to the camera. "There's no version out there of the truth. You're going to make up things about us anyway, but count yourself lucky if you're watching: this is what I want you to know about Liam and me."
Time stopped. He didn't breathe, lest it blocked him from hearing every single thing she said.
"Liam is an amazing man," she continued. "What we have matters more to me than all this noise some of you are making. Way more than any of the lies doing the rounds out there. He's everything, the show around us is nothing. You want the next fix in your need for drama and I don't want to give it to you. I told Liam I needed to figure out how to cope with all of you. Well, this is the first thing I'm going to do. I'm going to cope with you all. I'm here to do my work, to connect with the people who really want to connect with me. I'm going to ignore those of you who are here for a spectacle, who twist what we are out of morbid hunger for— fordirt— and I'm going to focus on Liam, me, and my work. That's all that matters. So I'm moving on from the crap. Sorry, folks. No Q&A after all. See some of you around! And keep an eye out for more content of my latest documentary."
She signed off. Thankfully, she had set up the stream to continue to be available for rewatching— or had forgotten to delete it. Either way, he watched it again, twice, smiling at her Depeche Mode shirt, taking everything in, burning time before he had to go into the next meeting.
Locking his phone, he made his way back to the office where he'd chat with the director and producers forLethal Whispers, a new spring in his step. Seemed Ana was finally getting into a place where she didn't let things affect her.
While on his next break, Liam got into Twitter. He tended to be a bit more active on the platform while filming. His optimistic mood gave him enough energy to engage with some fans himself.
