Page 50 of One Week With You
“You said you didn’t mind if I checked my emails,” he said, still puzzled.
“I don’t. It’s not about the emails. It’s about you making up some excuse to walk all those miles in the freezing cold as if you couldn’t wait to get out of here.”
“It wasn’t like that.” Rafe scraped down the side of his jaw, the stubble a sandpapery noise against his palm. “I just needed some space.”
“From me.”
God, I hated how vulnerable I sounded.
“Of course not.” He reached for me across the table. I wasn’t in the mood to be affectionate, but it was instinct now and I let our fingers entwine, momentarily soothed by the hypnotic brush of his thumb. “Alan Fraiser pulled out of our deal. I found out this morning.”
I clutched his hand tightly. “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve understood if you needed some space. I need space too sometimes. I mean, it’s the reason I’m here.”
“I don’t find sharing so easy, Talia. It’s not my first instinct. But then it’s not yours either, is it? You’ve been anxious about this all day and haven’t said a word. It goes both ways.”
“You’re right. But you’re not the one who was rejected the first time. You disappeared for hours today. I guess part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Again.”
Rafe clenched his eyes closed for a second. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. Henry’s blaming me instead of realising that Alan didn’t want to sell in the first place. Some things don’t have a price. His email pissed me off and I didn’t want my mood to rub off on you either. I needed to get out and clear my head a bit. I should have told you though, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
I nodded absentmindedly, absorbing it all. “So you don’t want to leave?” I asked tentatively.
“Well, maybe not today, but I have to leave soon. There’s only so much I can do from here.”
My stomach dropped.
“I know that but I don’t get the rush. Why do you want to leave so soon?”
“It’s not that I want to leave. I have to.” He frowned, watching me closely. “But the more important question is, why do you want to stay? If I didn’t know any better, you sound frightened but that’s not like you.”
“Frightened?” My laughter rang out awkward and forced. “Don’t be silly.”
Adrenaline surged beneath my skin, making me itchy with it, restless. Needing to keep my hands occupied, I shoved my chair back so quickly it rocked on its feet. I drifted over to the sofa in the living room and pulled at the blanket hanging over the back. Once I’d shaken it out and refolded it again, I grabbed a cushion, punching and fluffing the stuffing over and over. Rafe snatched it out of my hands and tossed it on the floor.
“Talia, tell me. It’s okay,” he promised, fingers gently circling my wrist, but it was too soft of a gesture, too caring, too much somehow.
I pulled away, stuttering back a couple of steps. “It’s not.
“Talia,” Rafe said, more forceful now, morecut this shit out. “Please. We can’t sort this out if we don’t talk about it.”
“That’s rich.”
“I know. But please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything!” I shouted, sudden enough that his eyes widened. I gestured helplessly at nothing and everything, hoping he understood, hoping it made sense. “Because it’ll change. The moment we leave it’ll be over. This. Us. I’ll have to go back to making terrifying business plans and worrying about the future and pretending I don’t know how it feels when you’re inside me. How it feels to wake up with you by my side. Maybe you’re fine with that. Maybe you can pretend, but I can’t.”
Rafe watched me intently, his breathing heavy. “Who said anything about pretending?”
“You said this isn’t real life. I get it. I mean, my heart doesn’t get it. But my brain? Yeah, I think I understand.”
“Your heart?” he repeated softly.
I scrunched my eyes closed, slapping both hands over my face for a second. “Yes, I know, okay. I’m… This is embarrassing.”
Rafe tugged my hands away and clasped my face between his palms. The fierceness of his expression caught me off guard and I rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but look up at him.
“Talia, listen to me. This morning, what I said… I didn’t meanwearen’t real life. Me and you, that’s the realest part of my life in a long time.”
My heart was in my throat. I was certain Rafe could feel the erratic race of it beneath his fingertips. “Oh.”
