Page 16 of To Love A Monster
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It had been almost seven months since Daegon and I first mated, yet my womb remained empty. The whispers around the village and Fairhorn were impossible to disregard, and the once pitiful looks became looks of confusion. Daegon was growing frustrated, and his once kind and gentle nature had become distant and full of worry. Rogon assured me he was just concerned with the recent threats from the newly appointed Chief of the Nightfrost clan.
He was rarely home when I awoke, and the sun always set when he came home. My heart ached to be near him, but his distant nature caused me to cry silently for many weeks. Most of my days were spent with Daerla making clothes, tanning, and skinning hide for the winter months. She always reassured me that when my body was ready, I would carry a child, but with each day, my hope dimmed.
On the days Daerla wanted to be alone, I would sneak away with one of the female orc warriors, Ravette. We would often walk up and over the hill for privacy, for all eyes were always on me no matter where I walked. She taught me how to carry a sword and build a fire from twigs and horse dung, but mainly she taught me how to look at someone sternly. I valued our friendship, but as of late, the warriors had been training non-stop, leaving no time for camaraderie.
“Aylin, do you mind taking these to Kaig and Ila?” Daerla asked as she handed me a small pile of furs and bowls. I smiled and placed them in the basket, the Autumn air cool as I stepped out and pulled the hood of my cloak over my face. I did not want to look into the eyes of others and see their worry and contempt. I had not given Daegon an heir while so many others were now fully rounded with their unborn children.
A soft smile went over my face as I heard Daegon conversing with Kaig, the butterflies in my belly dancing as I went to pull the leather aside. I missed my mate. I missed his touch and how we would get lost in our future conversations. I missed his smile and how he would tease me about my basket weaving. I knew he was frustrated, but I needed him more than ever.
“It is infuriating, my friend! Why does she not carry my child? Have I made a mistake? Was my heart mistaken in choosing her as a mate? Did the King curse her womb or my seed? What if she cannot carry my child? What then? I will be bound to her in obligation.” His words struck my heart as I dropped the basket, making a loud crack as the bowls dropped out and broke.
I rushed away down the small path as fast as my feet could carry me, hot tears streaming down my face as I knew then what I must do and where I must go, but I knew that I was risking my very life to do so. I raced into my home and grabbed my thick winter cloak made of leather and red fox furs. I grabbed the dried meat that hung on the wall and a small leather pouch to carry them, my heart breaking as his words swam over in my head. My womb was cursed, and my father was the only one who could lift it.
DAEGON
“It is infuriating, my friend! Why does she not carry my child? Have I made a mistake? Was my heart mistaken in choosing her as a mate? Did the King curse her womb or my seed? What if she cannot carry my child? What then? I will be bound to her in obligation. The moment the words slipped past my lips, a loud crack was heard by the door.
“Who is there?” Kaig asked angrily as I got up and pulled the leather aside, my brow furrowing as I saw it was a basket of bowls and furs, my heart sinking as I realized who was just here. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized that my mate, life, and love had just heard my stupid words.
“Aylin!” I called out as I rushed from my friend’s hut and ran towards my mother’s, my heart racing as I pulled the leather aside and searched for Aylin, my heart aching. I felt a sinking in my stomach. I was angry and speaking nonsense, nonsense that I regrated the moment it spilled from my mouth. My mother always warned me that my sharp tongue would hurt someone I love one day.
“Mother, where is Aylin?”
“I told her to take some furs to Kaig and Ila. What is wrong, my son.” I growled in anger as I ran, ignoring the stares of others as I rushed into my home. My heart sank as I noticed her missing winter cloak, the dried meat and fruits, and my travel pouch.
I roared in anger, the whispers and murmurs outside my home silencing as I wished I could take back my words. I had been warned my entire life to think before speaking, and now I was facing the consequences of my stupid actions.
“Why do you all stare? MIND YOUR AFFAIRS!” I screamed as the small crowd of eavesdroppers dispersed and went about the business. Most are on their way to market to take part in the precious meat of the successful hunt from days before.
I grabbed my heavy cloak and rushed out towards the stables; my fears were confirmed as I noticed Aylin’s horse was missing. “Where did she go!” I roared as the stable master’s son Uzul stepped away from me, frightened. My anger was misplaced. He was only doing his task, yet I was screaming at him for my mistake.
“She went north, Chief—that way.” He pointed towards the direction of the Ice Mountains, anger rising inside me as I grabbed a horse and quickly mounted him, my heart racing as fear entered my mind. Had my foolish and harsh words pushed Aylin from me forever? Had I lost my true love due to my selfish anger?
Not only had my words been harsh, but for days now, I rejected her each time she tried to make love to me, my heart sinking as I knew I had broken a promise to her. I broke her heart. Anger-filled tears streamed down my face as I forced my horse into a gallop, my eyes searching for her as I knew her horse was faster and more robust than mine. Then, after several agonizing moments, I spotted her cloak billowing in the wind as she stood by the old ruins, the same ruins where I met her on that fateful day.
I let my horse graze by the stream, my heart aching as I slowly approached her. Her soft sobs broke my heart, knowing that my words caused them. “Aylin.” She refused to look at me as she pulled the hood of her cloak over her face and turned away from me.
“My womb is cursed---I am going to see my father and make him fix what he has done.” She cried as she turned and tried to shove me back, my heart shattering as she slapped my hand away when I tried to pull her to me. “Do not touch me! Please go! I will go alone!”
“Forgive me, Aylin. I was angry and speaking nonsense! Please forgive me. I let my selfish anger cloud my judgment ---please do not go to that mountain.” I tried reaching for her again, but she slapped my hand away and stepped back, her hood falling from her face as I saw the pain in her eyes. “Please forgive me,” I asked as I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her waist. “I meant nothing of what I said! Please, Aylin, do not go to that mountain! Please!”
She wiggled free from my grip and climbed back onto her horse, my hands taking her reins as I quickly gathered to my feet. “Please let me join you. If you must go, let me go so I may protect you.”
“No. If you go, my father will try to kill you again, and I will not watch you die! He will fix what he has done to me and when I return, my womb will carry your child, and you will love me as you did before.” Her words cut me like my dagger slicing through the skin of a wild boar. How could she think I did not love her? My mind recalled the last few months, how I grew silent, how many nights she would reach for me, and I would act as if I was sleeping. I had been cruel, and my mate deserved so much better.
“Aylin, I love you! I have always loved you that has never changed! I did not mean what I stated to Kaig. I was just so furious—”
“I know I cannot stop you from following me, but you will not enter that mountain! You will stay with Halla until this wretched curse is removed.” I hesitantly agreed but was relieved that she would not push me from her. I had made a terrible mistake with my words, which hurt my mate in ways I feared were unfixable. I had to heal her broken heart and show her how much I loved her, even if it took the rest of my days.
AYLIN’S FORGIVING HEART
DAEGON
We returned to the village to prepare for the journey, and my mother and father were unhappy with me when I spoke of why we were taking the dangerous trip. Feeling their disappointment and the disappointment of my people weighed very heavy on my soul. Aylin would not speak to me, and she dared not look at me, but I could feel her sadness. It broke my spirit when she refused to share our bed, choosing instead to stay with Ravette and the other warriors in their quarters.
My mother had chosen to stay with me for the night, but sleep eluded me. All I could think of was my mate sleeping among the warriors. The whispers had started, but I ignored them, for they knew nothing of what they spoke.
