Page 39 of The Taste of Redemption
“I smashed a few things around the house last night.” He gestured to his knuckles. “Your turn.”
The images that sentence summoned weren’t something I wanted to think about first thing in the morning. It reminded me of the things Adrian smashed around the apartment… with my head, back or face.
“I’m okay.” I glanced at my hands. “You didn’t have to come all the way here to ask. I have a phone.”
“I can’t always tell from the tone of your voice when you’re lying.”
Nick’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to tell Thomas off, but changed his mind, and left us alone, muttering something about a coat.
“Don’t take this so personally, Thomas. It’s not your problem.”
His jaw tightened. For a brief second, his gaze fell to my lips as if that explained his protectiveness well enough.
“Are you seeing James today? Ask him for sleeping pills, okay? You look exhausted.”
He was half-way through my coffee already. If I wanted to get my caffeine fix, I had to make another one. Being in the same room with Thomas was a bitter-sweet experience. I missed him and wanted to have him around, but at the same time I wished he would leave, because not being able to touch him was unnatural.
“Yeah, I’ll ask him,” I said, boiling the kettle.
There wasn’t anything James could give me without checking my bloodwork, and there was nothing stronger than the pills I had. Still, not even a double dose helped me nod off for longer than an hour at a time. Worry and regret burned through the pills at ridiculous rates.
Thomas rested against the back of his chair, his shoulders tense.
“That’s two, baby doll. Don’t lie to me.”
A small smile curved my lips but disappeared just as fast. “Sleeping pills don’t help.” I sat back down, holding onto my coffee in case he decided to take that one, too. “I faced some of my mistakes, but there is more to overcome before I can breathe again. I’m better than I was, but worse than I thought I’d be. And you’re right, I’m exhausted. I slept just a few hours since Sunday.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes. “Worse than you thought? You mean youexpectedAdrian to beat you again?”
I winced at his bluntness. Ty, Adrian and I settled for using less obvious terms, tiptoeing around the problem; lessening the severity of Adrian’s actions by saying that hehurt me. It was easier and less embarrassing.
Nick and Thomas weren’t ones to mince their words for the sake of making the situation less disturbing.
“An addict forever remains an addict. I didn’t expect him to relapse, but I knew it was a possibility. I prepared for the consequences ofhischoices but not mine.”
The consequences of walking away from you.
“I’ve got something for you,” I told him, when he didn’t answer.
I didn’t blame him for avoiding the topic. Maybe he thought it wasn’t a good time to talk. Or maybe he had nothing to say.
“Remember the canvas you gave me at the housewarming party?”
“Took you long enough.” His shoulders relaxed, and he scanned the room. “Where is it?”
“It’s at my apartment. I’ll bring it over later.”
Nick entered the room, stealth as a hunting lion. His eyes scanned Thomas and me like he expected to catch us kissing.
“At least show me what you have there.” Thomas pointed to the sketchpad lying beside me on the table.
“That’s top secret.”
I loved when his mouth twitch upwards against his will. It was those rare moments when it was clear I held some positive power over him just like he did over me. I hadn’t seen him struggle to contain a smile with anyone else, and every time it was his first answer to my question or statement, wings grew out of my back.
We stared each other down for the longest time, glancing over the contours of our faces as if rediscovering them all over again.
“Secrets are made to be found out,” he said, not breaking eye contact.
