Page 89 of Powerhouse: Boxed Set
And so it became my own.
Together, I had two wildly different dreams and I didn’t care much where I might land between them, because I knew I’d never be without passion for either. All I knew for sure was that I was unwilling to give up the opportunity to pursue either at New York University if I was lucky enough to get in and secure a full ride.
Not for Aida.
Maybe not even for Brando.
For once in my life, I wanted something for myself.
So yes, I wondered what Aida would do without me, because that time was coming whether she suspected it or not.
“You’d be fine,” I assured her, stroking through her cloud of soft, pale hair. “You were fine before I was born.”
“I had your father.”
I winced slightly, because that was true. Aida was not a woman who was good or happy taking care of herself.
“That’s why I’m so grateful I found Tiernan,” she said in that wistful way of hers. “He wants to move us to New York.”
“New York!” I pulled back from my mother in shock, my mouth as round as a bullet hole straight through my skull. “Mom, you can’t be serious. You don’t even love the guy.”
She frowned at me, then smoothed the crease between her brows with a finger because she was worried about wrinkles. “Don’t ‘Mom’ me, dovey. Of course, I’m serious. He has money.Loadsof money. And he’s nice to me. I know you don’t like him because you think he is some threat to your father’s memory.” She paused to issue a long-suffering sigh. “But he wants us to be a family.”
“He wants you in his bed and Brando and me locked up out of sight in some attic,” I argued, shivering at the idea.
“You’ve always had a silly imagination.”
“If I’m silly, I got it from you,” I snapped, then watched as Aida’s wide, blue eyes filled with tears.
I sighed as she shifted away from me, stripping the sheets from her bed in jerky movements punctuated by sniffling.
“I’m sorry,” I said, because I was. I’d learned a long time ago that I was more of the adult in our relationship. It was part of her charm; she was childlike with wonder and sweetness, excited to please and eager for affection and attention. She didn’t mean illeverand so it felt churlish for me to get angry with her.
She couldn’t change her nature.
My father hadn’t been able to change his even though he tried.
It was safe to say, people were incapable of change and I could live with that even if it wasn’t always ideal.
I shuffled up behind my mom as she bent to tuck one end of the fresh sheet under the mattress and wrapped my arms around her.
“I love you,” I murmured against her silk-covered back. “I wish you knew how lovely and capable you were. You don’t need a man to help take care of you, of us.” I paused, chewing my lower lip. “Don’t I do a good enough job of that?”
She straightened, tugging my arms even tighter around her belly so she could hug them. “You are a wonderful daughter. But, well, you can’t keep us safe the way a man can. You can’t make us rich and secure the way a man can, dovey. It’s just that simple.”
“It’s not the 1950s anymore,” I grumbled even though I knew there was no persuading her. “I could make us rich.”
“By studying art conservatism?” she asked, patting my arm. “No, honey. You chase your dreams and I’ll chase men, okay? Everything I do, I do so that you can be happy. Tiernan could get you into the best schools in the country.”
“I could study sustainable business and Idon’tneed his help getting in.” I bristled at the very idea.
“He could afford the tuition at NYU,” she coaxed, shifting in my hold to face me so that she could take my face in her hands. “You could stop working and focus on your studies…maybe it would even give you time to date. Your face is too beautiful to be hidden behind a textbook all the time.”
“There is financial aid.” There was no way in hell I’d willingly take money from Tiernan. I had a feeling every single dollar came with strings attached.
Aida let out a beleaguered sigh. “Really, Bianca, are you so determined to hate him that you can’t see how he could change our lives? Do you like living like this? Paycheck to paycheck. Wondering if we can afford the next time Brando ends up in the hospital?” She hesitated in her tirade, her eyes narrowing at my inadvertent reaction.
She’d hit on the only thing that mattered to me.
