Page 30 of Finding Kenna
“I know. And I’m not sad…exactly,” Kenna said, struggling to explain how she felt. “It’s only been a week since I’ve met you, and I’m not even sure our relationship is really defined yet, but standing here, reading the info on what happened and seeing the names of the men who died, it makes me worry about you all the more.”
Marshall put his arm around her shoulder and held her against him. “The circumstances are very different,” he told her. “Pearl Harbor was attacked without notice. The men on the ships weren’t able to do much to protect themselves. My team and I don’t go into any situation without having first researched the hell out of it.”
“That doesn’t mean something can’t go wrong,” Kenna protested.
“You’re right. It doesn’t. But we plan for every contingency we can think of. And, not to be flip about what I do, but you could be killed driving down the street. I don’t take my life for granted, and I’m as careful as I can be, but shit happens. Freak accidents, heart attacks, being struck by lightning. There are a hundred different ways you and I could die walking down the street. I’m probably safer with my team on the other side of the world tracking down a terrorist than you are going to work at Duke’s.”
Kenna snorted. “I’m not so sure about that, but you have a point.”
“I know.”
Kenna rolled her eyes and turned so she could meet Marshall’s gaze. “Sorry for being a downer.”
“You aren’t a downer. And to address something else you said…it’s okay if you’re not sure yet, but as far as I’m concerned, we’re dating.”
Kenna’s stomach flipped. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said with a smile. “I already can’t wait for lunchtime so I can call and hear your voice. I’m constantly checking my phone to see if you’ve messaged and the guys have been giving me shit about it…but I don’t care. I don’t even think about sleeping until you text me to let me know that you’re home safe and sound after work.”
Kenna loved all of that. Freaking loved it. “I’ve never dated a military guy before,” she admitted. “And since we’re being honest, you being a SEAL scares me. Now I can’t stop thinking about the dangerous things you do.”
“I can’t do anything about that, except to tell you that my team and I don’t take risks. Especially now that Mustang is married and Midas has Lexie. When we get sent out, I won’t be able to tell you where we’re going or when we’ll be back. Is that a deal breaker?”
Kenna thought about it for a long moment. Intellectually, she knew that he couldn’t tell her about his missions, but emotionally it was a harder concept to swallow.
But then she thought about the last week. How much she’d laughed while talking to Marshall. How he’d made her feel special even though they hadn’t seen each other. How nice it was to have someone worried about her well-being and someone who got irritated on her behalf when she had asshole customers to deal with.
He had a good point about the dangers of everyday life. Marshall loved what he did, that was obvious. And she had to guess he was good at it. Not only that, but as he said, his SEAL team was prepared when they were deployed. That didn’t mean they couldn’t be shot, or blown up by one of those rocket things…but she just had to have faith.
“No,” she said, answering his question.
Marshall sighed in relief. “Whew!” He pantomimed wiping sweat from his brow. Then he got serious. “Talk to Elodie and Lexie,” he said. “They can tell you how my team and I work since they’ve seen it firsthand. I’m sure they’d also be happy to discuss their feelings about when we’re deployed. One of the most important things for a military spouse is a support system. Having someone to call when you’re scared or worried. Someone who can commiserate with how you’re feeling and be there for you no matter what. And I can tell you with no hesitation whatsoever that both Elodie and Lexie will be that support for you.”
Kenna stared up at him. “You sound like this will be a super long-term thing.”
“For me? I hope it is. I’m not getting any younger, and the thought of casual dating gives me hives. I can’t see into the future. I don’t know where we’ll be a month, a year, ten years from now, but I’ll tell you this—you aren’t a fling for me, Kenna.”
“Most guys would have a heart attack talking about a long-term relationship or, God forbid, getting married, a week into a relationship,” Kenna said.
“I’m not most men,” Marshall said simply. “I know what’s important. Family. Friends. Relationships. Not material shit. Not being the most popular or dating as many people as possible. I want what my friends have. I want to come home from a mission knowing the woman I love is waiting for me. Knowing she’ll be just as excited to see me as I am her.”
“Marshall,” Kenna whispered, not sure what to say.
“Sorry. I’m not trying to freak you out. But…yeah. As far as I’m concerned, we’re dating. We’ll take things one day at a time and see what happens.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he echoed. “You ready to move on?”
Kenna looked back at the hunk of rusting metal in the ocean in front of her. She could be afraid to get into a relationship with Marshall. Could push him away because she was scared of him getting hurt, or getting hurt emotionally herself…but that wasn’t like her. “Yeah,” she said softly.
“Good. Because I’ve got something else kind of cool to show you. My favorite spot on the island. Although with your response to seeing this memorial, I’m kinda nervous now.”
“Don’t be. I didn’t even know this existed, and I’m honored to have been able to see it,” Kenna said.
“All right. You okay? Hungry? Too hot?”
“I’m good. I wasn’t sure if we’d be eating or not, so I had a sandwich before I came.”
