Page 39 of The Earl and the Reluctant Lady
He scraped his fingers through his hair, then swore. Was this his penance for all of his sins? To be tempted by the one woman he knew he could not have? The one woman he wanted above all others? “Agnes, this is not a discussion we should be having.”
“On the contrary, you’re precisely who I should talk about this with. Do not forget it was I who called you out about your lustful behavior. I might be a virgin, but I am not that naive. Besides, I can’t very well ask Sullivan. And I can guarantee that none of my friends would know the answer to the question.”
“Excellent points.” He wasn’t going to encourage her to talk about kissing with another man. If he knew anything about Agnes, it was that she was tenacious and wouldn’t let this go. “What felt different?”
She shook her head. “It’s not a fair comparison because so much time has spread between the two kisses.”
“We only kissed a couple of days ago.”
“Long enough.” She leaned in closer. “Would you be so kind as to refresh my memory?”
“You want me to kiss you?”
“Yes, please.”
He wiped his palms on his pants. “Agnes,” he warned. “Trust me when I say I want nothing more than to pull you across my lap and kiss you senseless. But kissing tends to lead to other activities. Ones you are not prepared for.”
“I am only asking for a kiss. One. Little. Kiss.” She grabbed his jacked and pulled him to her and pressed her lips to his. She kissed at the corner of his mouth and, damned, he tried to not respond. But there was only so much temptation a man could take. In that moment, she surrounded him. The press of her warm, soft body against his. The fragrant feminine scent of her that rivaled any flower blooming in this garden. Her sweet willing lips on his. She was everywhere. He could no longer deny her.
He tilted his head and kissed her back. There was no subtle seduction. No, he poured every ounce of his desire into the kiss. If good sense couldn’t rule her, perhaps he could frighten her away. Damned if he’d be able to be the one to make the right choice. He needed Agnes to have her wits about her so she could walk away from him.
Her lips were soft and pliant beneath his. It took very little coaxing to part her lips and explore the inside of her mouth. He swept his tongue inside, stroking hers. She released a contented sigh and gripped his shirt tighter. Her warm breath mingled with his.
Damnation, but she tasted so sweet. He slid his hands up her torso until his thumbs rested beneath her breasts. She moaned and leaned into him. He deepened the kiss and felt her fingers lace through his hair. Her tongue tentatively moved against his. Her lack of experience was evident, but her inelegance only fueled his arousal. Damn, but he wanted her. Right here, right now on this bench in her family gardens.
Desire flooded his body, thick and heavy. He groaned but forced himself to end the kiss.
Her eyes remained closed, and her breath came in shallow puffs. Finally, she opened her eyes and smiled at him.
“And?” he asked, unable to help himself.
“It wasn’t as I remembered it.”
“No?”
She shook her head, then her startling blue eyes met his and he could have sworn his heart stuttered. “It was better. As I told you before, my response to you, merely being near you…” She shook her head again. “It is frightening. I feel no such things when I am near Sullivan.”
He wanted to pump his fist in the air and cheer. He wanted to close the distance between them and kiss her again. Pull her onto his lap and show her exactly how good desire could be. But he could not have her.
He.
Could.
Not.
Have.
Her.
No matter how much he wanted her. No matter how much his body screamed MINE whenever she was near. Hell, he’d wanted her, likely loved her, for the last three years, and in that time he’d had countless women in his bed. How could he expect to become a different person merely by being her husband? He’d eventually grow tired of her as he had every other woman, and he refused to do that to her.
Yet a voice inside kept repeating that if he had Agnes, if she was truly his and his alone, he’d never want another woman as long as he lived. As it was, anytime he was with a woman, he had to close his eyes and imagine her exquisite face. Still, she didn’t even want a husband. He would not force his desires upon her. He would protect her. That was the only thing he deserved to do for her.
“This.” He motioned between the two of them. “What we have together is merely an effect of being compatible in that particular area. I am not the only man who could make you feel this way.” Damned if he didn’t want that to be a lie.
“Which means that you feel this with other women?”
No. He didn’t and never had, but he couldn’t tell her that. If he admitted he felt this way only for her, it would be crossing a line he could never come back from. She would have leverage over him…even more than she already had. Sooner or later, she would wear him down. He would give in to his urge to seduce her. She would be his.
