Page 47 of Billionaire Enemy's Baby
I feel good about my choice.
But I don’t go to Lexi right away. I have somewhere else that I need to be, someone else I need to talk to. Someone who gave me advice when I first came home, but that I didn’t want to hear at the time. I owe him an apology.
“Dad, you’re here.” I’m happy to see him in the garden outside the house. “Good…”
“Josh?” He stares at me in confusion. “Your mother said that you had gone.”
I offer him a one shouldered shrug as I move closer to him. “Well, I was gone. I decided to bite the bullet, stop getting distracted, and make things work for me in the city. I even got a call from someone that I really wanted to meet with.”
He tries to hide his sadness and he tries to speak with enthusiasm.
“Oh well that’s just great news. I’m so glad to hear it…”
“But I changed my mind.” Dad’s shoulders sag with relief. “I have decided to follow what you suggested instead. To start small here, and see how things go. I’ve spent more than enough time away from Beaufort, and it’s nice to be home.”
Dad furrows his eyebrows. “What’s changed your mind?”
It’s time for me to be honest. At least I know he won’t overreact. Mom will. I’m going to have to wait until I’m really ready to be smothered before I tell her.
“I have found someone that I really like here, Dad.”
“Oh wow. I was not expecting that,” he exclaims.
“There’s more,” I confess. “Something I only just found out myself.” This is a bit awkward, but then we’re all adults here, aren’t we? “She has a child. A four-year-old daughter, the consequence of a fling we had before I left for London.”
It takes Dad a moment to process this. “Wait, what? You mean…?”
I nod happily. “Yeah, I mean that I have a child. Not one that I’ve met yet, but I’ve been waiting for the moment to be right. I’ve been waiting until I’m ready.”
Dad rests a hand on my arm and smiles gratefully. “Son, there is nothing better than being a father. Seriously. You boys are the thing I’m most proud of. There is nothing like it, and I just know you will be a great father to this little girl.”
“You think so?” His confidence in me means the world. “I hope so.”
“You have it in you,” he reassures me. “I am sure you will be the dad you want to be. But you have already missed out on so much. My advice to you would be to make up for lost time. Go to her now and get to know this kid of yours. Family is the most important thing.”
A heat swells up in my chest. I can’t stop myself from breathing in deep and holding on to this sensation. I’m sure there will be a lot of obstacles that we still need to overcome along the way, I’m not expecting anything to be easy, but I am hoping it will be worth it.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I nod with gratitude. “I need to go there now. I just hope that I can make everything up to Lexi and she forgives me. Mya too.”
I hear Mom coming home which fills me with panic. Everything is going to become far more complicated when she knows. She might put the sort of pressure on me which makes me snap. Dad laughs when he sees my reaction. He gets it right away.
“Go on, go. Get out of here, Josh. We won’t tell your mother until you know what’s going on with you and Lexi. I’m sure you have more than enough to work out as it is.”
“What are you going to tell her about me being back?”
“I will tell her you’re working things out. She will be glad to have you around, Josh. Especially if she knows you’re finally going to put some roots down and settle. All your mother wants is for you to be happy, if that’s in Beaufort she’ll be over the moon.”
I nod and gulp, thanking him before I take off, with nervous anxiety absolutely careening through my veins. I didn’t feel this way when I went to New York. I didn’t feel a thing, even though it’s something I had been working towards forever. That tells me everything I need to know, doesn’t it? This is important to me, but that wasn’t.
I jump into my car and start to drive before the nerves can put me on edge and stop me from going anywhere. I have to get to Lexi’s home and explain everything. It’s going to be a complicated conversation, but one we absolutely need to have, there’s no doubt about it. I’m hoping this will be the start of our proper communication.
Words circle around in my brain as I drive. I don’t know where I’m going to begin and how I will get all of this out, but somehow I’ll do it. I have to.
By the time I arrive at Lexi’s place, I can hardly catch my breath. I sound like I’ve been running and I haven’t been anywhere. IknowI could easily turn around and run right now, just because I’m scared of the outcome of this conversation.
But I don’t, because running away hasn’t ever gotten me anywhere. I need to face this.
I’m shaking, actually trembling all over as I step out of the car and walk towards Lexi’s home. My feet might as well not even be touching the floor as I go, everything about this has a dream like quality to it, like it isn’t quite real.
