Page 44 of Billionaire Enemy's Baby
“Well like Lexi.” Oh God, as soon as I say her name, the flood gates open and I don’t know if I can close them again. “Who is basically my childhood sweetheart…”
“Oh no, you can’t be one of those country bumpkins who marries his childhood sweetheart.” She rolls her eyes in an over exaggerated manner. “Please, that issocliché. I can’t believe it. You would bemuchbetter in New York with someone like me.”
I grit my teeth together. “No, you don’t understand. It isn’t like that. Lexi is the mother of my child. She has my daughter, so I can’t just walk away like that.”
“You’re a father?” she eyes me curiously. “And you’re here?”
I’m a father.The word hits me like a tornado. I’m afather. What the hell am I doing here? New York is just a fantasy now, I can’t actually give up everything to move here, can I? Not when I have a daughter in Beaufort. I didn’t know about her when I was in London, and I missed out on a lot of Mya’s life during that time.
Now it’s different. Now I know absolutely everything, so if I walk away, it means I’m choosing to turn my back on my daughter. That I’m deciding to let Mya down. I don’t know if I can be responsible for that. I don’t know if I can handle that in my heart.
“I need to be with her,” I mumble as I stand up. “I need to be with Mya.”
“Huh?” The woman stares at me with shock in her eyes. I don’t know what she’s thinking, I don’t even know what I’m thinking either.
All of this is a mess.
“I have to go,” I tell her seriously. “This isn’t right. I have to get out of here. I need you to tell Brian that I’m gone because I have things to sort out.”
I don’t know how he’s going to take this. If he’ll think that I’m coming back or not.Idon’t know what I’m going to do actually. But I do know that New York City isn’t the place where I’m going to figure it out.
I have to be home; I have to be in Beaufort with Lexi and Mya.
That’s the only way I’m going to get my head together and figure shit out.
Urgh, I can’t believe I ran away like this; I’m sickened at my cowardly behavior. I feel like I might well be the worst person in the world. I bet Lexi fucking hates me for running away again.
I bet she wants nothing more to do with me.
We both need to talk properly, to communicate, to make it right.
Otherwise, everything is always going to be this way.
ChapterTwenty
LEXI
I can’t do this.
It’s like I’m numb, hardly able to breathe. I can’t sit in this office and act like everything is normal when I’m absolutely falling apart inside. Mom warned me, sheknewthat coming to work for a member of the Macauley family would be a good bad, and I guess she was right.
How the hell am I ever going to move on from what happened with Josh and recover if I’m reminded of him every single day? It was bad enough in the beginning, but now it’s unbearable. Being stuck inside this place is crushing my spirit and making me want to cry. I can’t meet anyone’s eyes because I don’t want them to ask me anything.
I bolt up from my seat, planning to make myself a coffee, but I end up walking outside instead for some fresh air. Or maybe because I know what I need to do. I need to speak to my friend who isn’t caught up in the middle of this, who is gone and can see all of this from the perspective of an outsider.
Ihaveto talk to Emily.
“Hey, girl!” she cries out, answering the phone before it even really has a chance to ring. “How are you? I was just thinking about you. It’s been a while. When are you coming to see me? I have just moved into a smaller apartment, so there is no spare room, but…”
“I don’t know,” I admit honestly. Maybe for the very first time. “I don’t know if I am going to be able to come to LA any time soon. Everything is a bit crazy.”
“Oh yeah?” she asks curiously. “What’s going on?”
I let out a sigh of relief. At least she isn’t mad at me for not being able to come to LA for the time being. I was worried she might hate me for it.
“Well, very recently, Josh came back into town…”
“Josh?” she exclaims in shock. “As in the father of your child?”
