Page 26 of Billionaire Enemy's Baby
It takes ages for my heart to stop hammering as the post orgasmic bliss swims in the water around me. It takes even longer for me to open up my eyes, and to let reality back in all over again. And I really don’t want to face reality; I would much rather exist in that sexy world for a little while longer. But I can’t avoid real life, can I? I’m not a carefree teenager with nothing to worry about. I can only fantasize about having sex with Josh because if it were to really happen, then it would make everything harder.
Especially with him leaving soon.
If he doesn’t want to know Mya, then I shouldn’t let him know me either. Even if I want to. Even if I justknowthat it would feel good to be with him again, to fuck him like that, to throw caution to the wind and to just have fun. Even if the last time we had fun, there were serious consequences to it. I don’t want to be in that position once more…
Although I did always think that I would have one father to my children.
I shake my head and dip my whole self under the water for a couple of moments, before I get myself out of the bath. That hasn’t done anything to clear my head, if anything it has only made it worse. Now Iknowthat I’m attracted to Josh still, even after all these years, but I also hate him for what he’s doing to me and how he’s confusing me.
“You have to stay away from him in the future,” I whisper to myself. “Don’t get close to him like that again. Justdon’tlet it happen. There is no need to be close to him.”
But a part of me already knows that if he comes for me again like he did, then I will be powerless to resist. It’s the magnetic pull, the intensity of our connection. I guess even him rejecting me and our child five years ago doesn’t change that. Nothing will take away the chemistry. I am just going to have to try my best to not get sucked in by him again.
Easier said than done, but I was determined to give it a try.
Wearily, I head to the bedroom and collapse onto my bed. I really am quite shattered. I don’t normally crash to sleep just after Mya has drifted off, but this isn’t any other day. There is nothing normal about this day at all. Maybe the best thing for me to do is just sleep it off and hope that I can start fresh in the morning.
I really do need to have all my wits about me when it comes to Josh Macauley because it isn’t just about me anymore. I really need to keep Mya in the forefront of my mind, because one thing is for sure, he sure as shit isn’t thinking about her.
ChapterEleven
JOSH
“Are yousingingto the radio?” Mom sounds incredulous as she asks this. “It’s been a long time since I heard you singing in the morning. You must be happy.”
I lean down and kiss her cheek as I hand her a breakfast bagel. She might think it’s her advice about New York that has me feeling happy, but that has nothing to do with it. I cannotstop thinking about how fun it was fooling around with Lexi yesterday. It didn’t even go anywhere, and I had a good time. It was almost like a battle of wills, and I had to do whatever I could to bring down her walls. I enjoyed that a lot, it was so much fun.
It made me feel alive in an unexpected way. I hadn’t even realized a part of me had died.
“Iamfeeling happy, Mom,” I confirm with a smile. “I’m feeling more positive about everything.”
Wyatt’s advice remained the same as before. That he thinks I should follow what Dad suggested and start small in Beaufort, so I can be closer to the family. I still don’t know what the hell I want to do, but that has taken a back seat in my mind.
“Good, that’s great to see.” She grins. “I had a text from Luke as well. He landed safely and seems to already be having a good time, so that’s good.”
I nod gratefully. My deadline for Luke’s return might be there, but it’s still months away, isn’t it? Not something I need to worry about at the moment. I will do it, I’m not worried. Maybe once I get Lexi out of my system, everything will be crystal clear.
I’m headed back to Wyatt’s office today, actually hoping he’s going out to eat again so I can hang out with Lexi. I want her to be alone so we can sink into that delicious intoxication where nothing else matters. Today she’s going to really see that she can’t resist me. And with a bit of luck, we’ll actually get a decent amount of time to be together.
“Who’s on your mind?” Mom asks, cocking her head curiously to one side. “You have the look of someone who’s just met a nice young lady…?”
“That’s your dream for Wyatt, isn’t it?” I immediately deflect. “I thought you wantedhimto find a nice person to settle down with. I didn’t know you were worried aboutmesettling down. That’s not something I need to do at the moment, is it?”
“I want you to find happiness as well, Josh.” She clutches her hand to her chest as if she’s shocked by my assumption that she doesn’t want me to find the love of my life. “And if you have met someone, then I want to know all about it. I’ve missed out on five years of your life, so now that you’re back, I want to know everything that’s going on.”
I just about manage to resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Yes, Mom, and when I fall in love, I will let you know. But I’ve only been here for a little while. I haven’t had time.”
Not that it takes time when it’s someone I’ve connected with in the past,notthat this is love or anything.
God, Mom seriously over exaggerates everything, doesn’t she? She overcomplicates things that do not need to be complicated.
“Hmm, I’m not totally convinced, but if you don’t want to tell me, so be it.” She raises her hands in a surrendering gesture, which of course lets me know that she’s not going to let this go. I am never going to hear the end of my ‘mystery woman’.
“You tell me when you’re ready.”
I can feel her eyeing me still, wanting me to open up to her but there isn’t anything to say. Not about that anyway, so I return to the other topic of conversation which is actually much easier to deal with right now. IknowMom will have her opinions, but I’ll try anything to get her off my love life. I don’t want her to find anything out about Lexi.
“So, I’m making some calls.” I nod as I talk. “But if I don’t get anywhere today, then I’m going to take your advice and head out to New York. I’ve already done some research and there are a lot of networking events for the tech community up. I really think that might be helpful for me. You know, to meet some of the people I might be working with.”
