Page 86 of Not Since Ewe
“I don’t know what to think. Maybe you’re working through old, unresolved feelings from high school. Or maybe you’re using me to get over your divorce.” The words felt like they were suffocating me, but now that I’d opened the door, my fears kept pouring through it and I couldn’t make them stop. “But once you’ve gotten whatever it is you think you need from me, you’ll realize I’m not actually what you want after all. You’ll get tired of me and move on. Just like everyone does.”
“Tess, no.” He shook his head, aggrieved.
“Then tell me what you think this is. What do you want from me?”
“Everything.” His hands grasped my arms as he stared into my eyes with an intensity that put the sun to shame. “I want everything you have to give me. I want you in my arms and in my bed, but more than that I want you in my life. Not just right now, but for as long as you’re willing to put up with me.” He paused, his mouth hitching slightly at one corner. “Which I’m hoping is going to be forever.”
“Forever?” I repeated in a mix of surprise and disbelief.
His hands slid up to my shoulders, his thumbs settling into the hollow above my collarbone. “There are no guarantees in life—we’re both old enough to know that. But I’m willing to work my ass off to make sure this sticks. I’ve already lost too much because I didn’t fight hard enough to hold on to it. I’m not going to make that mistake anymore. But you have to want it too. Enough to take a risk and go all in with me.”
I swallowed hard, frozen in place. “You know how risk averse I am.”
“I know.” His eyes crinkled fondly as his smile grew. “You’ve always got five different contingency plans in your pocket for every worst-case scenario. But Tess, if you don’t take the big risks, you’ll never get the big rewards. I’m asking you to have a little faith in me. Trust me when I tell you this risk is worth taking.”
That was what it came down to.Trust. He was asking me to give him the power to hurt me. The thing I’d never wanted to do.
Only I already had. It had happened long before tonight, even if I hadn’t consciously decided to do it. There was no use fighting it anymore. I was in too deep to turn back now. Donal had already stolen my heart. I had no choice but to trust him with it.
Shrugging out of his grasp, I took my phone from my pocket and composed a group text to Erin and Donal.
I lied tonight. Donal and I have been seeing each other. We’re a lot more than just friends. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth when you asked. I should have.
When I looked up, Donal was watching me with a puzzled frown.
“Check your phone,” I said.
He pulled it out and tapped the screen to unlock it. I watched his expression change as he read the message, his dimples peeking out as his lips curved upward. His eyes jumped to mine, and he broke into a grin. “Thank you.”
“I really am sorry. I didn’t consider how it might hurt you.”
“You’re forgiven.”
“Really? Just like that.”
“I’m done holding grudges, Tess. It’s already kept us apart for too long.”
My phone vibrated. I smiled as I read the text from Erin.
I KNEW IT!!!! (And I’m really happy for both of you)
Donal took my phone from me. He set it on the console table with his before winding his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. His fingers stroked over my cheek and into my hair. “I’m really happy for us too.”
I released a shuddering breath as his lips lightly brushed over mine. My heart was flapping in my chest like a clumsy dove trying to take flight, and he was barely even kissing me at all. I strained toward him, needing more, and felt him smile against my mouth. His lips parted, and his tongue slid against mine in a deep, dreamy, savoring kiss.
Only when my lungs were crying out for oxygen did I finally break it off. “I have a question.” I felt him tense, and my mouth twitched into a smile as I wound my hands around his neck to make sure he stayed nice and close. “Were you implying that you’re the big reward in this big-risk scenario?”
He huffed out a laugh and dropped his forehead against mine. “Love is the reward, you doofus.”
I froze, a heavy band pulling tight around my chest.It’s too soon, a panicked voice screamed inside my head. We’d come so far to make it to a good place, I felt like I’d already climbed the Matterhorn tonight. I wasn’t prepared to move on to Mount Everest yet.
“Eventually,” Donal added, apparently sensing my panic. His hands squeezed my hips, tugging me against him as he murmured, “Stop thinking too hard and kiss me.”
I did as asked. Gladly.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
DONAL
