Page 48 of Resurgent
Fifteen minutes later, a tiny speck of jungle rimmed by white sand comes into view. “That’s Sipadan!” says Gary. “Time to suit up.”
Liam and Gary help me put on my mask, tank, and fins, and before I know it, we’re sitting on the edge of the boat. Liam reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Okay?”
“More than okay!” I grin.
He laughs, and then one by one, we drop backward into the emerald water.
The next four hours are the best of my life, barring the time I’ve spent with Liam. We fall into a silver cyclone of what I later learn are jack fish—hundreds of fish frantically swimming around us so that’s all we can see. Eventually, they clear and we can see the wall of reef that plummets dramatically a good quarter of a mile below us, and beyond that, Sipadan Island.
Everything is so vibrant, it seems surreal—from the red and blue coral fans that wave languidly to the brightly colored fish, so many different types and species that I lose count. We see manta rays, octopus, several types of sharks, sea horses, and parrotfish, some with these hilarious-looking buck teeth. And turtles. There are so many turtles, many of which swim right alongside us, that I lose count.
Eventually, we stop to eat on the island. It’s very small and there are no resorts or homes on it, but there’s a large wooden house built on it where divers can relax, and we’re joined by several other diving groups. Liam talks to some of them, but I’m content to just be in the moment, absorbing the amazing view of the pristine white beach and crystal-clear water with the man I love.
Shit. I love him. The realization is sobering. I thought I fell in love with him in Playa del Carmen, but now that I’ve really gotten to know him, I realize we had just scratched the surface then compared to my feelings for him now. Despite the fact that my life is completely upside down and out of control, I’ve never felt more secure or happy, and it’s because of him.
But it was a mistake then, and it’s a mistake now. The fact that I love him is irrelevant. We can’t be together. If anything, it’s even more apparent now. In just a few days, he’s demanded I give myself to him wholly and completely, and I’ve handed him my control on a silver platter. Me, the girl who watched my mom give control of her life to a man who destroyed her happiness and swore to never make the same mistake. It’s been fine for this week in Mexico. This isn’t real life. This is fantasy. For both of us. I just need to remember that. Even if I’m enjoying the hell out of it.
“Want to take a walk around the island?” Liam interrupts my reverie. He’s standing in front of me, holding out his hand. I put my hand in his and let him pull me up.
Hand in hand, we stroll along the powdery sand that fringes the island. I know Liam is looking for possible places he might have stashed the guns. Theyhaveto be here. There are too many things pointing to Malaysia.
“Recognize anything?” I ask, but I already know the answer. The island is small—the tour guide says it only takes twenty-five minutes to cover the entire thing. So far, we haven’t seen anywhere guns could be hidden.
Liam rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration. “No. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. That some lightning bolt was going to come down from the sky and illuminate where the guns are hidden? I know better. I’m going to have to somehow figure this out on my own.”
I wish I could help him. Neither of us have said it, but this was our Hail Mary. We put all our eggs in a basket that was full of holes. We have two and a half days to find the guns—if they’re even here—or a clue that leads to them. If they’re not, we’ll be out of time to look anywhere else. In fact, we’ll both be out of time period.
I stop in the sand. “What if we don’t go back to Mexico. What if we just keep running. Change our names. We can—”
He cuts me off with a finger to my lips. “Shh,” he says. “I don’t think I’d do that if it was just me, but I’m definitely not going to do it now that you’re involved. You deserve more than a life on the run, never knowing when it’s going to catch up with you. You have a business and friends. You deserve to marry a guy one day who falls in love with you and wants to give you a perfectly ordered life with a picket fence.”
Somehow, his words sting, but they shouldn’t. He’s right.
We do one more dive after a late lunch, this one to the more remote place Gary had referred to, a place called Turtle Cavern, but again, we come up with nothing. Back in the boat, we strip off our scuba gear. I can’t hide my disappointment. “That looked so promising. A cave filled with turtle bones would be the perfect place to hide guns,” I say quietly so the dive masters can’t hear.
Liam sets his flippers next to him and leans his head back, closing his eyes. “Getting guns wet will damage them.” There’s a strain in his voice I’ve never heard before. In the next few minutes, I literally watch him pull himself together, his muscles flexing as he prepares himself mentally before opening his eyes to look at me. It’s devil-may-care, always-in-control Liam looking back at me, that ever-present grin on his face.
“I’m proud of you, Charlotte. You jumped right in without hesitation, without a detailed dive plan or any idea what was going to happen or a contingency plan in case we got separated.”
I’m shocked that I never even considered any of that! “I guess you’ve been successful at teaching me to let go, after all,” I admit with a smile. “But honestly, it’s you. I trusted you. So I didn’t have to be in control.”
He cups my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine tenderly, lingering a little longer than necessary. “I can’t imagine a greater compliment,” he says. “I am humbled by you. Even when all the evidence has pointed to the fact that I’m the worst kind of criminal, you’ve trusted me to keep you safe. I’m not going to let you down.” I’ve never heard Liam so serious. I think about a few minutes ago, how he pushed his own worry aside to put on his game face for me.
“I know,” I say, reaching up to caress his cheek. “But you don’t always have to do it alone.”
Before he can respond, Gary comes back to store the diving gear and settles next to us to talk about the dive. We’re almost back to Mabul, where we’ll stay the night, when I realize what I need to do. If I can discover some hidden parts of myself by giving up control, maybe so can Liam. I don’t think he’s going to like it, but it’s time he realized he doesn’t have to save the world alone.
“Hey, Gary,” I say casually. “In the accident that almost killed him, my hu-husband lost a little of his memory. He left something here that was important to him. Important to both of us.”
“Charlotte, what the fu—?” Liam is giving me that look that would terrify any sane person, but I know I have nothing to fear from him.
“Liam, trustmethis time,” I say softly. Turning back to Gary, I explain. “We were hoping retracing his steps on the dive might jolt his memory, but it hasn’t. Do you have any idea where he might have left something for safekeeping? Anything he asked you that was unusual or out of the ordinary?”
Gary strokes his beard as he thinks for a minute. Then he shakes head. “I can’t think of anything. Except—” He says something to the other guy on the boat, then turns back to Liam. “I was wearing a medallion that day, a charm inscribed with an old native symbol for luck. You wanted one, but you wanted something specific on it. You asked me if there was anyone local who could make it.”
Liam is sitting forward, his eyes focused on Gary. “Is there?”
“Yes. I got mine at a tattoo shop in Semporna. I’ll give you the name and directions when we get back to the island. He will have gone home for the evening, but you can talk to him tomorrow.” He looks from me to Liam, and adds, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
